all 72 comments

[–]fschmidt 14 insightful - 11 fun14 insightful - 10 fun15 insightful - 11 fun -  (4 children)

An ark and a flood.

[–]goobandit[S] 3 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

I’ll be waiting for you at the Swiss vault in Utah

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

How do you feel about silver?

[–]fschmidt 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Too heavy for an ark. Not much of an investment either because it competes with cryptos as a store of value in the minds of morons. After a collapse, whatever assets still generate revenue will have the most value, things like stocks and real estate.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If there's a collapse, stocks, real estate, and crypto will be as worthless as the US dollar. Crypto in particular runs on computers which needs high tech industry to produce the hardware and cheap electricity to make it viable.

I love crypto despite recent trends, but I don't think society will collapse. And even if it does, the potential returns still warrant a gamble.

Nobody will be around to be the realtor police. All those empty investment properties are free digs who whomever wants them. And perhaps can defend them.

Money will always be paper, but gold will always be gold (or silver), although society would have to establish itself a little bit again. Food and fuel dominates those kinds of economic situations.

[–]wendyokoopa1 10 insightful - 5 fun10 insightful - 4 fun11 insightful - 5 fun -  (16 children)

Weight loss for me(working on it) end of vaccine mandates, I don't know.

[–]jet199 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Only sick people get weight loss for Christmas.

This is why I joined the gym at the beginning of December and have been every day since.

Gotta keep running to stand still.

[–]wendyokoopa1 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Yup. Today thanks to my efforts I hoisted my leg on to the counter and sat on the sink.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What do you want for Christmas, Jet?

[–]goobandit[S] 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Weight loss, that has to be an every day gift you take for yourself but it’s so satisfying when you look back on it

[–]wendyokoopa1 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Oh I know it. I'm not giving up. Today I scared blissey.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Got to get in shape for six flags.

Losing weight is unfortunately the easy part.

[–]wendyokoopa1 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Not at My age. It's been a year getting to mid to high 280s from 330s. But I'm enjoying it. My blissey is at times deeply Traumatized as I've been seen hoisting half a 🦵 on to my counter and climbing for a seat on the sink

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I mean it's harder to keep it off than it is to lose it. If the diet stops and you go back to your original eating habits, the weight returns.

I don't know what a blissey is or why you're climbing onto the sink, but kudos to whomever built it sturdy.

[–]wendyokoopa1 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

A blissey is a loving currently going insane Pokémon side kick ad daughter that lives with me.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

How do you feel about amphetamines? And how does your cardiologist feel about you taking amphetamines?

[–]wendyokoopa1 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I'm not under the care of a cardiologist nor am I taking any amphetamines. My only drug is for my skin

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I mean you'd probably want to see one to make sure your heart was healthy enough if you and your doctor decided that the benefit of weight loss medication, namely amphetamines because they're old and we know a lot about them, outweighed the risks.

That sort of determination is above me though. Probably a moot point anyways, doctors are scared shitless to write any controls these days, but they used to make a determination if the weight was more adverse to your health than the meds.

[–]wendyokoopa1 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yes I would but I fail seeing where this is coming from as it pertains to my Christmas wish and not explaining is really starting to piss me off.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I was just making conversation, weight loss is an interest of mine.

[–]wendyokoopa1 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh OK thank you. Yes my doctor does agree I could benefit. Sorry I got pissy just confusing

[–]wendyokoopa1 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh do you mean in regards to coasters at six flags?

[–]Gravi 9 insightful - 7 fun9 insightful - 6 fun10 insightful - 7 fun -  (4 children)

Perhaps something more meaningful than all the suffering I endure in a day to day basis, but at this point even an orange would suffice.

[–]goobandit[S] 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

What’s more meaningful than suffering?

[–]Gravi 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

At this point you'd consider all life to contain suffering, it does of course, but in all the suffering we struggle through we are able to see something that attracts us, pulls us close to it, whatever it may be, we do not find it very quickly.

[–]jet199 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

Chocolate orange?

[–]Gravi 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Yummy

[–]AXXA 7 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 6 fun -  (1 child)

I want new socks. What do you want /u/goobandit ?

[–]goobandit[S] 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

[–]FuckMasks 7 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 6 fun -  (3 children)

The death of the elites and the cabal.

And a pony. Please.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Does the pony deserve it?

[–]Tiwaking 4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

FuckMasks 3 insightful - 2 fun - an hour ago The death of the elites and the cabal. And a pony. Please.

You want the death of a Pony?

[–]FuckMasks 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Notice the punctuation.

[–]goonmessiah 7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 5 fun -  (3 children)

A personal chef, for Christmas day at the very least.

[–]goobandit[S] 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I feel you on this! Last year around this time our stove top broke so I ordered a Christmas meal. It was dope, still had to heat up everything but eliminating all the prep was awesome.

[–]jet199 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I think I'm going to be cooking for 14 this year. Then collapse.

[–]goonmessiah 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe do ham and cheese hot pockets for everyone, pour some cranberry sauce over them to keep it festive.

[–]Canbot 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

PS5

[–]goobandit[S] 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Damn, that’s a good one

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I have been looking for one of those for the wife since last year. Not paying double retail though. There aren't really many (any?) ps5 exclusives because so few people have them, but it would be nice to play the new Horizon game on more appropriate hardware.

[–]Canbot 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I could easily afford the ripoff price, but I won't buy it at that price on principal. Fuck scalpers.

[–]Optimus85 5 insightful - 6 fun5 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 6 fun -  (5 children)

A huge X-class solar flare.

[–]goobandit[S] 5 insightful - 6 fun5 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 6 fun -  (2 children)

I’m not ready but the “told you so” factor greatly appeals to me

[–]Optimus85 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

At least Gates doesn't control the Sun. Or does he? Worse yet, the Sun's software runs on Windoze...

[–]Tiwaking 4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Optimus85 2 insightful - 1 fun - 23 minutes ago At least Gates doesn't control the Sun. Or does he? Worst yet, the Sun's software runs on Windoze...

The Sun generates an enormous amount of heat and is guaranteed to become unstable sometime in the future. It is clearly a Pentium 4

[–]Tiwaking 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

Optimus85 3 insightful - 3 fun - 2 hours ago A huge X-class solar flare.

An Extinction Level Event?? Thats quite a christmas wish.

[–]Optimus85 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

It's gonna happen sooner or later. Maybe not during our lifetime. A Carrington-level event would be less brutal but either way, I ain't prepared. A mega flare would be something impressive to witness though. Until you're burnt to a crisp in a matter of milliseconds. Anyway, just something to ponder while we're reaching peak Clownworld.

[–]SeethingPeasant 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

I want 2019 to come back and never end. This admin has fuct everything beyond belief and will continue to do so.

[–]Tiwaking 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

I want 2019 to come back and never end.

Having 1996 forever would be nice. No wi-fi, but all the friends you could want.

[–]fschmidt 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, a time machine would be my second choice. I would go back at least a few decades.

[–]Tiwaking 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

[–]goobandit[S] 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

But who will build the roads?!?!

[–]Tiwaking 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

goobandit[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun - 15 minutes ago But who will build the roads?!?!

In a world of low gravity, roads are the least of concerns.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (8 children)

5 lbs of organic whole leaf tobacco, a kilo of kratom, and 500g of an award winning loose leaf tea.

[–]goobandit[S] 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

5 years ago I could have definitely gotten you that kratom

[–]Node 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

Which types or varieties?

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

For the tobacco I like yellow / lemon / Canadian. As far as I can figure, they're all the same thing, tobacco grown too far north so it's got a thinner, lighter sweet leaf.

Kratom, red bali. Haven't taken any since Nov 4th.

The tea, I like oolongs primarily although I also drink white, black, green, and even occasionally puerh. Don't care for matcha. I've got oolongs from Vahdam, and dragonteahouse.biz coming in for Christmas. Had an early one from Amazon just cause I actually ran out.

[–]Node 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Perique (known for its strong, powerful, and fruity aroma) was developed in 1824 through the technique of pressure-fermentation of local tobacco by a farmer, Pierre Chenet. Considered the truffle of pipe tobaccos, it is used as a component in many blended pipe tobaccos, but is too strong to be smoked pure. At one time, the freshly moist Perique was also chewed, but none is now sold for this purpose. It is typically blended with pure Virginia to lend spice, strength, and coolness to the blend. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tobacco#Types

The tobacco plants are manually kept suckerless and pruned to exactly 12 leaves through their early growth. In late June, when the leaves are a dark, rich green and the plants are 24–30 inches (60–75 cm) tall, the whole plant is harvested in the late evening and hung to dry in a sideless curing barn. Once the leaves have partially dried but are still supple (usually less than 2 weeks in the barn), any remaining dirt is removed and the leaves are moistened with water and stemmed by hand. The leaves are then rolled into "torquettes" of approximately 1 pound (450 g) and packed into hickory whiskey barrels. The tobacco is kept under pressure using oak blocks and massive screw jacks, forcing nearly all the air out of the still-moist leaves. Approximately once a month the pressure is released, and each of the torquettes is worked by hand to permit a little air back into the tobacco. After a year of this treatment, the perique is ready for consumption, although it may be kept fresh under pressure for many years. Extended exposure to air degrades the particular character of perique. The finished tobacco is dark brown - nearly black - very moist with a fruity, slightly vinegary aroma.[2] The fruity aroma is the result of hundreds of volatile compounds created by anaerobic fermentation of the tobacco. Many of these are responsible for the flavors of fruits and are often found in wine.[3]

There are a number of varieties, even a Nicotiana rustica with 9% nicotine, but that Perique sounds like a pretty fun fermentation project. You'd need to get some seeds or clones. Get a nice sized grow tent and equipment, and you'd soon be turning out your own artisan tobacco. 'Soon' being relative, but still.

https://wholeleaftobacco.com/product/50-lbs-flue-cured-virginia-lemon/

https://dutchpipesmoker.com/tag/flue-curing/ - Everything you ever wanted to know about flue-curing, and all the types of Virginia tobacco varieties and blends. Interesting process that turns the leaves bright yellow.

Well, now I've run out of time to do kratom and tea. Have never looked at the tobacco growing and processing end of it before. Pretty interesting, especially that fermentation drying process. Almost like some types of tea.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

I am familiar with perique but that's a strong smoke. I've known people who roll them, but a little bit of perique goes a long way.. That's like the forum for whole leaf tobacco. I think I'm Muskie there too but I hardly ever write anything besides some noob questions a while back. You can make your own perique without growing it.

I order from wholeleaftobacco and leafonly. That link you shared, https://wholeleaftobacco.com/product/50-lbs-flue-cured-virginia-lemon/, I've ordered that. Not 50lbs but you see those spots? It's all over the damned leaves and it tastes like shit when you smoke it. Really bad leaves are just trashed, ones with a few spots you can tear those bits out. It happens, it's the bad part of dealing with a natural product.

Nicotiana rustica

Gross.

[–]Node 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

The crap smell seems to be gone and a whole different odor has come out .

And that's all he says about the new odor...

Those spots look like a bit of mold or rot.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Could even be viral.

And that's all he says about the new odor...

Lol! Hey, that's fermentation for you. Ever read the story of Worcestershire Sauce?

[–]Node 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Worcestershire sauce has its roots in India but was actually created by accident in its namesake town of Worcester, England in 1835.

[grabs arm dr strangelove style] Am still on my first pass at the internet today, so am skipping almost 20% of the opportunities to explore new rabbit holes.

[–]cisheteroscum 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

Hitler II

[–]goobandit[S] 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

Best I can do is black Hitler

[–]Tiwaking 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

goobandit[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun - 2 hours ago Best I can do is black Hitler

He seems like a nice man. I'd vote for him too!

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

For God to go full Old Testament.

[–]BravoVictor 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

A lump of coal.

It's so very cold in the factory.

[–]SeethingPeasant 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

A spare tire with love handles! Or a S&W M&P2.0 10mm.

[–]Vulptex 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I've always had trouble with this. There's not too many material things I want.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

i got it. From my "Scotty". So "NOTHING" is the correct answer.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Yeah. I run a hard-ship. Congratz for making my next wordplay.

    And thanks.

    [–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Sex Slaves.