all 39 comments

[–]DistantGlimmer 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

, can you explain why a neopenis/phalloplasty is not a penis? P

Counter-question can you explain what a penis does? What it's function is biologically? I believe that will answer your question why a neophallus is not a penis.

so that the trans man can feel things like how a non-trans man feels things through his penis.

Can they use their neo-penis to ejaculate sperm? [Disclaimer: I don't reallly care if transmen want to pretend they have a penis and call it a penis and it makes them feel good to have it but definitionally it is not a penis.]

A man is not "something with a penis" [fucking ewww at that dehumanizing definition, not sure where you got it] Men are adult human males usually with XY chromosomes and who have usually at least at one time in our lives had the ability to produce sperm. Obviously removing genitals does not make a man not a man or a woman not a woman. I really don't know anyone who believes different. Even trans people will usually talk about their social transition and not just that they're a woman because they got their penis and testicles removed.

[–]worried19 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The way I see it, sex is biological. Doctors creating a penis-like appendage on a female person is possible, but it's not actually a penis. A penis is an organic male body part.

I really don't wade into discussions about sex reassignment surgery because it makes me uncomfortable to think about what it entails, but I have no problem with what people call their genitals, natal or otherwise, as long as they respect others' sexual orientation and don't try to force their language on the rest of society.

[–]SnowAssMan 14 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Is a lego piano a piano, or is it lego made to resemble a piano? Say you could make it play music, is it lego shaped like a piano that plays music, or is it literally a piano? The latter would require two jumps in logic. You started out with 'lego' & 'resemblance', then you completely got rid of both of these, now the lego no longer exists & neither does any concept of resemblance. Then, in the second jump you materialised a piano where there is none. The lego didn't disappear & the piano didn't appear. Those two things never happened.

If you're wearing camouflage, are you the jungle? Same logic applies to the restructuring of genitalia.

'Phallus' is the umbrella term for clitoris & penis, so just use that to describe trans-men's genitals, no one else is (I'm not talking about post-surgery genitals here).

Who said a man is "something with a penis"? Gonads & gametes are the point of sex differentiation, everything else is secondary. A man sans genitals is a man sans genitals. You're still a biped after losing a leg. You're just a biped who has lost their leg.

[–][deleted] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not a penis. Forearm skin/leg skin have different levels of tactile innervation than penile skin. On the Hopkins site they talk about the sensation of nerve tissue regenerating and signaling -- that's called paresthesia, and it usually happens for the opposite reason (nerve endings dying or nerves unmyelinating). So -- major invasive surgery, but not to construct an actual histological penis or vagina -- they're best skillful approximations.

[–]uwubunny 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It isn't a penis because it doesn't satisfy the basic notion of what a penis is: a male organ, which like all organs developed, well, organically, which has the function of penetrating and inseminating the female with sperm. A neophallus is a surgically constructed fake penis attached to a human female who wants to resemble a human male. A neophallus is a surgical construction which is created to look like the penis. If you define a neophallus as a penis, then it has no sensible definition any more, since there's no answer to what it emulates, just as if you define a transman as a man, then transman has no sensible definition any more, because there's no answer to what a transman is trying to emulate.

Can you explain why a prosthetic leg is not a leg?

If a man is something with a penis, then if a man removes all of his genitals in surgery, why will he still remain a man after surgery?

If a car is something that can drive, then if my car breaks down, why is it still a car?

[–]weirdthorn 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

If I lose an arm do I become less human?

Phalloplasty, which is the construction of a penis, was originally created for men that weren't even "trans", why weren't their neopenises as real as any other man's penis?

No, they are still reconstructions, but they at least have the right hook-ups for a better result than cross-sex-neoconstruction. For instance you can do an uterus-transplant with women, but not with men (transplant rejection issues because of wrong sex aside), because women have the underlying structures for it.

FTM at least have the benefit that they get to keep their clit/erogenous tissues unlike MTF where most of it is discarded with creation of a neo-vagina (just a bit of glans and the prostate remain).

[–]LasagnaRossa 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

If I lose an arm do I become less human?

Adding: if I attach a mechanical arm to my body do I become a robot?

[–]DogeWalker 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (14 children)

Hypothetically, let's say I lost an eyeball in a tragic basketweaving accident.

Doctors offer to create a replacement eyeball for me, using soft tissue from my forearm.

My replacement eyeball is literally an eyeball. Do you agree, u/GarageCar ?

[–]SnowAssMan 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

A flawed analogy. Reconstructive surgery & "SRS" aren't the same thing. Trans-men didn't lose their penis in an accident. There is nothing actually wrong with their sexual organs the way they are, as they function exactly the way they were meant to function.

[–]DogeWalker 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Thanks, but I already understand that SRS and reconstructive surgery aren't the same thing. That's why it's merely an analogy... it is somewhat similar, in that an organ is being assembled from different tissue. If you have a better, more apt analogy, let's hear it.

[–]SnowAssMan 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Analogies are flawed by definition? "SRS" is far more like a cosmetic procedure than a reconstructive one. It's like the difference between getting breast augmentation surgery even though there is nothing wrong with your breasts vs. getting breast reconstructive surgery after having undergone a double mastectomy due to being diagnosed with breast cancer. The former would be a more accurate comparison to "SRS" than the latter.

[–]GarageCar[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think the eye analogy is very good, it is the exact same case of taking a different tissue to create an organ (an eye), the same thing that happens with the neopenis

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Back to the eye analogy, though -- an eye is a special sensory organ (some would say it's actually part of the brain). You can't construct a functional eye from forearm tissue. Full stop.

Simulacra are simulacra; organics are organics.

[–]GarageCar[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

That's a very good analogy walker, this is where my issue begins, if you lost your eye in a tragic accident, and the doctors took the tissue from your forearm and made a neoeye that looks exactly like an eye, can not see things but has nerves enough you can feel things with it, how is the neoeye different from the eye of a completely blind human who just can't see anything with it and what makes the neoeye not an eye? Because the eye of a completely blind human can not see things, but is still an eye, if we pluck that out and put it in a jar, it's still an eye. Why is the neoeye created from the tissue of the forearm, etc any different from the plucked out eye of a blind human that can not function as much as the neoeye can not function?

[–]DogeWalker 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

So you agree that my neoeye is an eye, then?

[–]GarageCar[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I believe a neoeye is an eye, but if I'm wrong and it isn't an eye, then please convince me of why that is

Why is the neoeye created from the tissue of the forearm, etc any different from the plucked out eye of a blind human that can not function as much as the neoeye can not function?

[–]DogeWalker 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I believe a neoeye is an eye, but if I'm wrong and it isn't an eye, then please convince me of why that is

No, I'm not going to try and convince you. If you honestly believe that anything called an eyeball is an eyeball, then I am not sure what could convince you otherwise.

ETA: If I am wrong and anything called an eyeball is an eyeball, then please convince me of why that is.

[–]GarageCar[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I didn't mean anything called an eyeball is an eyeball, I meant;

How is the neoeye different from the eye of a completely blind human who just can't see anything with it and what makes the neoeye not an eye? Because the eye of a completely blind human can not see things, but is still an eye, if we pluck that out and put it in a jar, it's still an eye. Why is the neoeye created from the tissue of the forearm, etc any different from the plucked out eye of a blind human that can not function as much as the neoeye can not function?

Answering these questions will definitely convince me otherwise

[–]DogeWalker 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

How is a tractor different from the eye of a completely blind human? What makes the tractor not an eye? Because the eye of a completely blind human can not see things, but is still an eye, if we plow the fields with it, it's still an eye. Why is the tractor any different from the plucked out eye of a blind human that can not function as much as the tractor can not function?

Answering these questions will definitely convince me otherwise

[–]littlerbear 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Because an eye is not just something that looks like an eye. It's something that has the anatomical properties of an eye. If one can't see out of one's eye, that's a problem. If one can't see out of their arm skin, that's not a problem. Even a blind person's eye is still an eye - it's an eye that's not functioning properly but it's still an eye. A ball of arm skin is still a ball of arm skin and nowhere close to being an eye.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Why are you working so hard to try to convince anyone that it is the same as a biological penis?

Do you have, pardon the phrase, skin in this game, so to speak?

[–]GarageCar[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm not really convincing anyone that a neopenis is a penis, I believed it was the case, and wanted to know where I'm going wrong in my belief

[–]JollyPurple 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And if a man is something with a penis, then imagine that a man removes all of his genitals in surgery, why will he still remain a man after surgery?

Our whole bodies are male or female. There isn't a default human body with just male or female sex organs thrown into them. That's why if a man removes his sex organs he's still male. It's the reason why medical research on male people only doesn't work for female humans.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/may/24/why-does-medicine-treat-women-like-men?CMP=share_btn_tw

[–]theblackfleet 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My questions are, can you explain why a neopenis/phalloplasty is not a penis? Phalloplasty, which is the construction of a penis, was originally created for men that weren't even "trans", why weren't their neopenises as real as any other man's penis?

Only males are born with penises, whether they are damaged or function or not. Females aren't born with penises (although it may 'appear' like one in some intersex DSD's.

Penises FUNCTION as part of a male system. Yes, some males penises are injured or don't function but the capacity to function properly is there.

Females who get phalloplasty do NOT get penises. They get a bunch of skin taken from other parts of the body to form a phallus shaped piece of skin that DOES NOT FUNCTION. IT is NOT a penis. It's just a bunch of phallus shaped skin. It doesn't have the proper urethra, it doesn't have the erectile tissue or blood vessels that are needed. It doesn't deliver sperm. It is not attached to testicles so there is no cum, no pre cum, no nothing.

The definition of man is adult human male. Females are not males. It really isn't complicated.

[–]littlerbear 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Men have penises because of their genetic composition. The penis is connected to sperm-producing testicles and acts as a conduit between the testicles and a woman's uterus. A phalloplasty is not connected to sperm-producing testicles, so it can't perform the task that a penis evolved to form. Women who get phalloplasties do not have the genetic blue-print to from a natural penis; they have the genetic blueprint to form a vagina, uterus, etc. They can't impregnate anyone with their pseudopenis. A phalloplasty doesn't function like a real penis either - men don't have man-made semi-rigid rods on either side of their penises.

[–]divingrightintowork 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If a man's dick rotted off or whatever and he got whatever FTMs get - he'd have exactly the same thing an FTM had and whatever it is called - but it isn't a penis/dick, any more than whatever an FTM gets. If I loose my arm and get a prosthetic arm it's just that, a prosthetic arm, not a human arm. And if you broke it down into its pieces, none of it's pieces would have any resemblance to the pieces of a human arm... because it's not.

[–]Lapis_Lazuli 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Wasn't this same question posted on the old debate sub?

A man is an adult human male. Most men have penises; a few rare exceptions do not.

Neophalluses are not penises for the same reason that glass eyes aren't eyes.

[–]Seahorse 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Because men that need reconstructive surgery presumably were born with a fully functional penis. They're still male, regardless.

Transmen aren't male, they are getting the same procedure but that's about where the similarity ends.

Also, the studies pull no punches and explain that the phallo will never be exactly the same as a regular penis. I'd gather that males that have had to have the surgery have a firm grasp on that compared to TRA who try to say that the phallo is exactly the same as a regular non surgical invention penis.

But TLDR transmen are female and not males like males that have had reconstructive surgery.

[–]Yayme 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

My questions are, can you explain why a neopenis/phalloplasty is not a penis? Phalloplasty, which is the construction of a penis, was originally created for men that weren't even "trans", why weren't their neopenises as real as any other man's penis?

A man-made penis is not the same as a nature made penis. I would suspect that men, born as men, who needed a phalloplasty probably had some serious issues with it as well. I doubt they were like "oops, my dick got ripped off in a horse riding accident, but now I have the faux penis made out of arm skin, and it's literally the exact same thing, and I have zero mental issues or mental scars. I'm A-OK."

If the penis of a man that has erectile dysfunction and can not get hard on its own so it needs a device called a penile implant to make it go hard and can not release sperm is still a penis, then why is the neopenis which can not get hard on its own and needs a device called a penile implant to get hard and can not release sperm be a penis? Can you explain why?

Pretty much the same answer as above. You're talking about faux, or unusable penises. These are men who were in accidents, or men who have medical conditions. Medicine has looked for an answer to help them function as men, because they ARE men... but to act like it's the gold standard of a man is disingenuous. And I do feel bad for them, but it still doesn't change the fact that I am skeptical that they are going to through life with a non-functioning, faux penis and they have zero mental issues from that.

Men with micro-penises have serious mental issues from that too.

Basically what you're saying is, look at this group of men who were disfigured, or who have serious medical conditions. We still consider them men, so why don't we consider women who do this to themselves men as well. And honestly, at the end of the day, maybe these transmen are considered about the same class of men as the natal men who lost their penises in some freak accident.

And if a man is something with a penis, then imagine that a man removes all of his genitals in surgery, why will he still remain a man after surgery?

What do you mean by a "man?"

Do you mean these transmen should be housed in men's prisions if they commit a crime? Most of them don't really want that.

Do you mean they should be able to wear masculine clothes? They can.

Do you mean they should be able to compete in men's sports? They never seem to want to do that. Except the one wrestler Mack Beggs, who suddenly fell off the face of the Earth after highschool. I've been watching to see how well he competes against real men, but that doesn't seem like it's going to happen. That asshole ruining the wrestling experience for every woman in his district. Selfish cheater.

Or do you mean what I suspect you mean - which is that gay men should have sex with them.

I think most gay men are ALL about the penis. I would guess that even a natal man who had a faux penis that didn't function would have a hard time finding partners at a gay orgy.

So. To sum it up - Is it a penis? Again. A glass eye isn't an eye. Fake boobs, aren't the same either. A prosthetic leg isn't the same. Do they all function in a similar manner? Sure. But they're not the same as the natural thing they are made to mimic. I'll be honest, as a straight woman, I wouldn't want a fake penis made from leg skin that you have to pop up, or whatever. I just can't see it being sexy to look at, or interact with, or any of that stuff.

And I'm sorry if that's cold, but at least for me, it's honest. I'd stay WITH my husband if he lost his dick... but I doubt that I would have gotten with him in the first place if he had a faux dick.

[–]GarageCar[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

maybe these transmen are considered about the same class of men as the natal men who lost their penises in some freak accident.

I have a question, you said a transman is not in the same class of natal men who lost their dicks in an accident but then said maybe a transman is in the same class of natal men who lost their dicks in an accident, or am I reading this incorrectly?

Men with micro-penises have serious mental issues from that too.

I have another question here too. Are you saying men with small penises have mental health issues because they have small penises?

Except the one wrestler Mack Beggs, who suddenly fell off the face of the Earth after highschool. I've been watching to see how well he competes against real men, but that doesn't seem like it's going to happen. That asshole ruining the wrestling experience for every woman in his district. Selfish cheater.

Don't GCs say trans men are women and can compete in women's sports because they are women? And that trans men can not be him or his or he but that they are her or she?

[–]Yayme 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

No. I said a fake penis is not the same class of penis as a real penis. And then I said maybe trans women would be considered in the class of men that has a fake penis, I guess.

And yes, I'm saying men with a MICRO penis probably have mental health issues. Maybe you're not familiar with a micro penis? It's less than three inches when erect. You can browse their sub at reddit if you want, and make your own determinations as to their mental health. But the sub description is -A community dedicated to the 0.06% of men with micropenis. Whether you want positivity and support, humiliation and teasing, or simply discussion; if it has to do with abnormally small penises, it belongs here.

I suspect you're just itching to get on your high horse and preach some moral outrage to me because I'm being honest here and saying dick size and quality matters. But I don't care. It does matter. There is no way I would have dated a man with a fake penis, or a micro-penis when I was looking for a life partner. And if you think most people don't feel they way I do, then you're either deluding yourself, of your clueless.

So, why any trans man would think it's going to be a better life with a fake penis, is beyond my understanding. Most people aren't looking for a sympathy project when they're choosing a life partner. They're looking for a good fit for everything - sexually, values, morals, lifestyle, goals. And SEX is a big part of that for most people. And for most people who like dick, size and being real matters.

GC says trans men cannot compete in women's sports if they are on performance enhancing drugs, such as testosterone.

So, I answered all your questions. What about mine....

What do you mean by a "man?"

Do you mean these transmen should be housed in men's prisions if they commit a crime? Most of them don't really want that.

Do you mean they should be able to wear masculine clothes? They can.

Do you mean they should be able to compete in men's sports? They never seem to want to do that. Except the one wrestler Mack Beggs, who suddenly fell off the face of the Earth after highschool. I've been watching to see how well he competes against real men, but that doesn't seem like it's going to happen. That asshole ruining the wrestling experience for every woman in his district. Selfish cheater.

Or do you mean what I suspect you mean - which is that gay men should have sex with them.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

[–]Yayme 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Well good for Schuyler! I stand corrected. Though most of what you linked actually happened when he was still a she. It was certainly hard determine when he transitioned. It looks like below is the relevant part, since he transitioned in 2014... and the rest of it is when he was competing with women.

In 2019, Bailar completed his college career posting the "third fastest" time for 100-yard-breaststroke for the Harvard team in the 2018-2019 season and won his third Ivy-League Championship ring as part of the Crimson's highest ranked team since the1960/1961 season - 8th at the 2019 NCAA Championships.[27][28] Although Bailar began his college swimming career with low expectations, his final 100-yard breaststroke time ranked him in the top 15% of all NCAA swims for the season and in the top 34% of all NCAA Division 1 swims for the season.[29]

The other two are kind of silly. A racewalker who never even competed, and a person who boxed one man.

But good for Schuyler! I mean, it's not like he was crushing records like the transwomen do... but, when he was on a team, his team did do pretty well. He didn't ruin it for them.

[–]GarageCar[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

when he was still a she. It was certainly hard determine when he transitioned.

According to the GC arguments, one can not go from a he to a she, or from a she to a he, and that trans men on hormones are still female because hormones and surgeries do not change sex, so I don't see why as a GC you call trans men he instead of she and why you say they became the opposite sex by taking hormones or getting surgeries.

[–]Yayme 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Did you even GCDebatesQT before?

From the sidebar - The rules about language usage will not be changed. Use of TERF, MTT, FTT, TIF, TIM, and the t-slur and misgendering of other users is not permitted.

Edit to add: The idea was that it was supposed to be respectful debate. It wasn't supposed to make anyone feel shitty. And maybe I could understand more about trans people, and they could understand more about me. So, most people tried to be nice.

Natal woman. Trans man. Whatever you want to say.

[–]GarageCar[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I didn't know the rule was not to "misgender" users, I apologize. I only lurked a few times on that previous GCDebatesQT subreddit before it got shut down by the admins, because I never participated in there I didn't read the rules. Thank you for letting me know about it :))

[–]GarageCar[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I just meant I don't think men with very small penises have mental health issues, what mental health issues would they have? If it's depression, then I would say that's because they get shamed for having a very small penis or it is because they are in a society humans created that they get shamed for their small penises and fear rejection, etc so that leads to mental health issues such as depression. I just don't see how simply having a very small micro penis less than 2 inches leads to mental health issues itself. Would you say women with very small breasts have mental health issues simply because their breasts are very small? Or would you say women who are born with small uteruses, etc have mental health issues?

GC says trans men cannot compete in women's sports if they are on performance enhancing drugs, such as testosterone.

I see, thank you for informing me because I didn't know that part of the GC argument. But GC says a trans man on performance enhancing drugs such as testosterone is a female, so to answer your "do you mean they should be able to compete in men's sports?", trans men should not compete in men's sports. It makes no sense for a female to compete in men's sports no matter how much testosterone she takes, and I think there should be a separate sport just for trans men, because they don't belong in men's sports either.

What do you mean by a "man?"

Here's the part I have an issue. TQs say "man" does not mean male and "woman" does not mean female, and that the words "man" and "woman" refer to the social roles and gender instead of sex. My question would be why can't the word man have a meaning other than male and why can't the word woman have a meaning other than female?

Do you mean these transmen should be housed in men's prisions if they commit a crime?

I think most trans men don't really want to be in men's prisons because they are female, so they shouldn't be in men's prisons.

Do you mean they should be able to wear masculine clothes?

Sure thing, anyone can wear whatever they want :))

[–]Yayme 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Would you say women with very small breasts have mental health issues simply because their breasts are very small?

Most of the ones I know, unfortunately, have had very low self esteem. And most of them get breast implants.

TQs say "man" does not mean male and "woman" does not mean female, and that the words "man" and "woman" refer to the social roles and gender instead of sex.

Some of them will give lip service to that argument for like two seconds, and then shout on about how TWAW, and they need to be in women's sports, like we divide sports for social reasons, and not biological reasons.

And now the new argument is that biological sex is a spectrum.

They believe that they are women because they believe they are women. That's really all it amounts too. And playing along with them and coddling them is just making it worse. I feel bad for the ones who have legitimate dysphoria. But my sympathy only extends so far.

[–]GarageCar[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Most of the ones I know, unfortunately, have had very low self esteem. And most of them get breast implants.

That's very unfortunate news. I believe the men who have micro penises smaller than 2-3 inches and the women who have very small breasts have low self esteem because they fear being shamed for having micro penises or very small breasts. In this society, women are expected to have big breasts and men are expected to have big-enough penises. These expectations lead to people who do not meet those expectations feeling shame, being depressed and having low self esteems when they think they are just not good enough like the others and will be ostracized for having small breasts or very small micro penises. These things don't really have anything to do with having small micro penises or very small breasts themselves, since correlation does not mean causation. It is that in a society where people wouldn't get shamed for having micro penises or small breasts, people who have those would not have any mental health issues either

And now the new argument is that biological sex is a spectrum.

They really do not stop at one argument as you said, that time when JK Rowling shared her GC arguments on Twitter, I just clicked on the replies underneath, and though the trans men and trans women there started with "nobody said sex isn't real, it's just gender is different from sex and a trans man is socially a man/male", etc they literally moved to "sex is a spectrum" or even "sex isn't real" in a matter of just 2 tweets afterwards. I'm like, "can you really not see you contradicted yourself?"

I agree with you that patting the trans men and trans women on the back will make it worse, and the frustration you feel is understandable