"he/him lesbians" are driving me mad.

submitted by anonymoussapphic from self.GenderCritical

remove if this doesn't fit! this is my first saidit post so it's kinda hard getting used to

so apparently theres women out there that are claiming to be "he/him lesbians" and it's been driving me mad. if this was just a tiny group of high schoolers trying to stand out i would say nothing about it but so far i've seen that theres a HUGE group of supporters out there. like, a COPIOUS amount. like holy guacamole the amount is insane. i am shitting you not there's an UNHOLY amount of hesbians on twitter especially.

apparently these "hesbians" are either just straight up men who "identify as lesbian" or just women claiming to be disconnected from traditional femininity so?? it just feels like an insult.

look, i don't have a massive brain. i'm a minor and (unfortunately) a lesbian. good god do NOT say you're a lesbian on twitter, you will get SHAT on so fast.

i got called transmisogynistic for using the word "homosexual" in a tweet i made in 2018, because being attracted EXCLUSIVELY to members of the same sex is unfair and discriminatory to trans people. i shit you not i was sent gore, animal abuse, BAD BAD stuff. icky icky stuff directed at a minor?? not to mention they went out of their way to hunt my other social media down, share selfies of me in the comments, and make fun of my physical disability while they were at it. really inclusive of you, you guys!

i'm beginning to feel like there's no lesbian spaces left. i feel like they've been overrun or that we're straight up unwelcome anymore, cause we aren't catering to everyone. that we owe people our bodies or else we're discriminating against them.

im gonna be honest? this shit hurts. i mean, it took the span of a few hours for them to find tons of personal information and i just dont wanna be associated with lesbianism on twitter anymore. apparently this is also happening on major trans subreddits (r/traa, r/actuallesbians) too as well as instagram and basically any major social media platform you can think of.

love isn't love anymore. it's about shutting up and twisting your sexuality to fit whatever's "fair" to the majority nowaday. and that majority's foaming at the mouth ready to get on your ass if you aren't gonna conform to that. i feel like it's a crime to be a homosexual again. that there's nowhere to run. it's a reminder that our sexuality is abnormal, unaccepted, and it has to be corrected.

people have been comparing being a woman attracted exclusively to women to unforgivable shit such as pedophilia. how did you make that conclusion?? is being a lesbian really that fucking disgusting now??

anyways, fuck reddit.

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[–]oofreesouloo 33 insightful - 3 fun33 insightful - 2 fun34 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

Yeah, you're definitely not alone. I just made a post yesterday thanking this community basically for being one of the only lesbian SANE communities that won't put up with TQ+ rhetoric. Where we can actually BREATHE. I think practically everyone here can relate to you honestly. Just don't be ashamed of being a lesbian. Be proud. BUT! Protect yourself first of all. Unfortunately, lesbians are the most targeted nowadays and under attack from members from outside AND within our community. Just protect yourself because TRAs aren't here for equality, they want privilege. They want everything catered to them. And several TRAs are actual porn sick men with lesbian porn fetishes with AGP disguised as trans women. So, just be careful. Every woman who buys into this gender ideology bs is a major turn off for me. I don't care if you're the hottest woman on Earth, Felicia. No, you're not special and unique and "not like the other girls" sort of type that requires an unique non binary/queer/he/his/wtv label. You're just a woman like any other that obviously won't fit in all the gender stereotypes a woman has lmao. I wish I could hug you right now! 💖 I'm really sorry that you had to put up with that abuse. Here you're safe! :)

EDIT: Omg, I replied to you thinking this was on Lesbians, sorry! But I guess the intent of my message remains :) Do you know where to find the lesbian community here right?

[–]anonymoussapphic[S] 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

thats so nice!! im kinda at a loss for words, it really does mean a lot knowing im not the only "incorrect" one here haha

also i don't think i know, saidit is a LOT different than reddit mobile so im trying to learn my way around!!

is it by any chance s/lesbians ?

[–]oofreesouloo 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yes, that's the one! - s/lesbians. You're FAR from being alone. We have this type of ranting post occasionally on the lesbian community and that's why I thought we were there lmao. (Sorry GC mods!!!!!)

[–]Greykittymomma 16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Hey I'm new here but I'm happy to listen to anyone being impacted by cancel culture and the gender wars.

Lesbians, gays and bisexuals are hated by TRAs because they want us all to be "pan".

I have a lesbian friend who just had her partner come out as a transman. She is being supportive but all I can think is that her sexuality is being glossed over. This transman is also autistic and not sure what causes her personality issue but she is a real fucker. Posts exclusively memes in online debates because she can't form an actual sentence without having a meltdown. I'm super curious if she's tried to fake a dick for my friend who is very anti penis. Probably not polite to ask but when words don't mean what they used to we get into weird situations like this.

Another friend had a man turn transwoman on her and she didn't end up staying on team lesbian after they broke up. Weird huh??

Are these people really that delusional?

Omg just realizing I have a third friend this happened to!! They mysteriously broke up after the girl went transman.

It is almost as if these people are unstable. Gee ya fucking think?

[–]oofreesouloo 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Jeez. People are really becoming insane and delusional. What's happening to the world?? By the way, your username makes me laugh I don't know why 😂🤪 And thanks for the support 💖

[–]catoboros 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Also check out the recent Benjamin A Boyce interview on YouTube of MyCat8It, moderator of the now banned r/truelesbians, the precursor of s/lesbians. Just under an hour, but well worth it.

[–]MezozoicGay 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

just straight up men who "identify as lesbian"

It is not new, my lesbian friend always was annoyed by those "protesters" when we were on our LGB protests 10-15 years ago in post-USSR country (so it was similar to western world 30-40 years ago in this regard). There we had transparents like "No hate towards gays and lesbians!" and so on. And trolls were coming for "counter-protest", mostly white men, but sometimes women too, and they had transparents "I love women, I am lesbian too!", or had clown make-up and colored hair with "Look I am gay!", etc. Those men claiming to be lesbians were pissing my friend way too much. And that idea came to them from old soviet anecdote, that makes sense only because our language is gendered, can't translate it to English, but meaning is: "Man is coming to a doctor and saying - doctor, there around so many sexy men, but I am looking only at women, I think I am lesbian-man".

By the way, funny moment, some men were dressing dresses and very ugly make up to mock lesbians ("we lesbian too") and gays ("all gays are just women inside, feminine weaklings"). And now transwomen are literally acting the same, but now believing that they right, while those were just trolls before.

[–]RedditHatesLesbians 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Does the original statement work in Polish by any chance? Feel free to send the original if so

[–]MezozoicGay 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I can understand spoken Polish pretty well, but can't really write on Polish. And, well, anecdote is almost the same as I adapted it to English, it is just funnier when it has gendered endings, and instead of "лезбіянка" there is "лезбіянець" and few other words that can only be female-gendered are gendered in male way.

[–]VioletRemi 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Just mentioning them makes me extremely pissed again.

[–][deleted] 19 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 2 fun -  (20 children)

The lesbian community has been hijacked and ruined by a bunch of people who want to be lesbians but aren't. These people invent new labels to speak over and kick out the lesbians. They are homophobes, pure and simple. They cannot fathom a world where a woman doesn't romantically or sexually desire men.

i feel like it's a crime to be a homosexual again. that there's nowhere to run.

It really does feel that way and I'm sorry. LGB acceptance was on the rise until this trans crap, which has nothing to do with sexuality, was tacked onto our movement and started to gain popularity in the mainstream. The "LGBTQ+ community" is now full of straight people who want to be special. Meanwhile the actual LGB people are moving to private groups again just to escape the madness and harassment.

All I can say is that the lesbian community is full of incredible, intelligent, brave, strong women. We've been through worse and will continue to fight this.

[–]chrysthefeminist 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (19 children)

They are homophobes

Why does everyone always say this? Why don't they say they are lesbophobes?

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

Going off context of what I wrote here alone, clearly the homophobes in question are lesbophobes by virtue. I used the word homophobes partially because by the second sentence I had already said the word lesbian three times, and partially because the same people I'm critizing are also typically homophobic towards gay men in the way that they shame homosexuals for same-sex attraction.

Personally I will continue use the words homophobe and lesbophobe whenever I want.

[–]chrysthefeminist 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (14 children)

You can say whatever you want, but "homosexuals" (and thus the targets of homophobia) never included women, only men, sort of like "all men are created equal." I am Not a "homosexual", I am a lesbian.

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Lesbians are female homosexuals.

[–]chrysthefeminist 1 insightful - 4 fun1 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 4 fun -  (11 children)

Nope, sorry, I am not a "female homosexual", nor am I "gay", I am a lesbian, period.

[–]oofreesouloo 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

What? 😂 Gay men are male homosexuals, lesbians are female homosexuals. You literally cannot define lesbianism without resorting to the words 'female' and 'homosexual' which means same sex.

[–]chrysthefeminist 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

You don't need to use the word "homosexual" to define lesbians. "Women (as in females) who are exclusively attracted to those of the same sex" does just fine for a definition of lesbianism.

"Homosexual" includes women the way "humanity" or "mankind" includes women. That is, we're "included", but not really. It's been that way all my life and I'm 67. You can use it, but without specifying the inclusion of women, as in "lesbians and gay men" or "homosexual men AND WOMEN" everyone just assumes it's all about men. You can't speak of "homosexuals" alone, with no mention of women or lesbians, without having almost NOBODY thinking of women. The literal meaning of the word "homosexual" being "same sex" does not mitigate this situation. "Homosexual", btw, means "same sex" in Greek, but in Latin the word "homo" means "man", so "homosexual" would be "man sex."

Also, and this is only my own personal feeling about the word, "homosexual" is an ugly and clinical term which seems fine to me for describing male sexual relations if that's how they want to describe their gay relations, but doesn't come close to doing justice to woman identified love.

However, we have to admit that "lesbian" is also a pretty weird word for women with same sex attraction. A Lesbian, in the original sense of the word, is somebody who resides on /originates from the island of Lesbos in the Aegean Sea, and as such men as well as women are and have been Lesbians.

[–]oofreesouloo 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I understand where you're coming from, but I still think you're overthinking it as well. So, let's agree to disagree? I do agree that the word 'lesbophobia' should be used more often, but I'm not against the use of 'homophobia'. So, yeah.

[–]chrysthefeminist 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

"Overthinking", yep, sounds like me (really). Will agree to disagree. I'm also not against the use of "homophobia" either, but my reaction was prompted by the fact that that is the word I ALWAYS see used, never "lesbophobia."

[–]Realwoman 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Homosexual means attracted to the same sex. Lesbian is a word describing women attracted to women, the word comes from the name of the Greek island Lesbos where Sappho was from. Lesbian just means homosexual woman.

TRAs are the ones that want to change what words mean.

[–]chrysthefeminist 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Everything I wrote indicates that I already understand the meanings of the words you are now endeavoring to explain to me, so don't bother me with redundant explaining. Language is very important in getting meanings across, as the work of Mary Daly abundantly demonstrates. She said that women have had the power of naming stolen from us and invented quite a few woman identified words herself. TRAs also understand the importance of language, as demonstrated by their efforts to twist the meanings of words to our detriment. TRAs are not the only ones on earth who coin new language, interpret old language in new ways and / or who have the right to touch language in any way. Please do not equate my second wave, woman identified choices of which language to use and which not to use with the putrid, misogynistic deeds of the TRAs. Thank you.

[–]DifferentAirGC 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Homosexual literally means "attracted to the same-sex", in contrast to heterosexual. There is nothing in it that says it can only be used for males.

[–]oofreesouloo 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I would argue all lesbophobia is homophobia but not all homophobia is lesbophobia (as it can be directed towards gay men and not lesbians).

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, I'm not sure why this person felt the need to interrupt and "correct" me. OP herself even used the word homosexual so I'm not sure why they started policing my word use when it was completely accurate.

[–]chrysthefeminist 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I didn't "feel the need" to "interrupt" or "correct" you. I just feel the ABSENCE of the female identified term "lesbophobia" in almost every instant in which it is in fact lesbophobia and not generalized, overall homophobia which is being discussed. Women are left out so often in overall discussions of "humanity" and the like that one would think that the opportunity to say loud and clear "Hey we are discussing WOMEN here" would be welcome.

[–]yousaythosethings 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I got banned from a subreddit last week because I commented in a thread where it was relevant about the transgender movement trying to erase biological sex to the detriment of women and the same-sex attracted and how that is why LGB people and people of the same sex need to be permitted to have their own spaces and conversations. I mentioned that I was a lesbian and couched it in that perspective. I got a “STFU TERF I’m a lesbian and you don’t speak for me.” Needless to say this was a transbian though he never admitted it. I explained the definition of “lesbian” as being a homosexual female and he called that offensive and incel language. I asked him what his definition of “lesbian” was so that I could understand what he meant when he called himself a lesbian and he refused to give it and essentially called the words ”homosexual” and “female” offensive. Just kept hurling insults and told me “I’m trying to make fun of you” and told me he was going to get me banned.” Well I didn’t care about that and kept calm and kept asking “Are you a homosexual female who is exclusively attracted to females?” And that’s all I said in the comment that got me banned. Seriously. The cited violation was that new rule on discrimination based on vulnerability and possibly hate speech (can’t specifically recall). HOW? At no point did this person even self-identify as a trans woman. It just became apparent that they were based on how they reacted and what they took offense to. So even if the mod considered us both lesbians then how was I attacking a vulnerable group if I am the literal definition of a member of that group and all I was doing was asking another individual who claimed to be part of the group for the sole purpose of trying to shut me up whether they met that definition.

This shit is so backwards.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I would simply leave reddit. Seriously, there are so many trans-gestapo super mods with extremely problematic histories on there. It's not a safe place for women to go.

[–]catoboros 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yes, it is awful. Apparently anyone can use any label they like, have it mean what they like, not explain what it means to them, yet still claim that others are misusing those labels, without explaining why. A seething cesspool of hate. Objecting is transphobia.

[–]MadLass 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I seriously dont understand how there are so many trans super mods. Like even with the rise of people identifying as trans they are still a very very small minority in real life. Yet their online presence seems to be in every corner now.

[–]jjdub7Gay Male Guest Commentator 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lesbian is not an "identity", its a descriptive noun...smh, people have no respect

[–]Marsupial 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Isnt' a he/him lesbian a straight man if we're supposed to go with the whole TrAnS wOmEn ArE wOmEn thing? By definition it's not possible to be a lesbian as a man. If your pronouns are he/him you clearly identify as a man, those are male pronouns. People are batshit insane.

[–]denverkris 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"it's not possible to be a lesbian as a man"

It's not possible to be a lesbian as a male.

[–]catoboros 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am guessing that a he/him lesbian is a same-sex attracted female with a transmasculine gender identity (e.g. trans man). I also see many nonbinary lesbians.

[–]DifferentAirGC 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've seen the argument that pronouns have nothing to do with gender. Yeah.

[–]NeedMoreCoffee 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

/s/LGBDropTheT/ maybe thats a good sub for you?

[–]uwubunny 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Counterpoint: I don't see a problem with homosexuals (or anyone, really) saying they prefer to be referred to with the opposite sex pronoun, provided they aren't trying to gaslight everyone that they are actually the opposite sex. Pronouns are, as TRAs never tire of pointing out, language conventions, and the reason I oppose TRA pronoun fuckery is that they use it in service to a regressive misogynist ideology. But if you're a woman who for some reason really wants to be referred to as "he", I don't think that's so terrible.

[–]venecia 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (10 children)

Wait, really? I thought ''male lesbians'' (straight men who ''identify'' as lesbians because they don't like using their penis/fetishist the way women in porn have sex) got laughed off the face of the earth in like, early 2012-ish. Are they a thing again?

[–][deleted] 16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Male "lesbians" (also known as straight men) call themselves "trans lesbians" or "transbians" and they've been increasingly targeting and harassing lesbians for not wanting to date or sleep with them. Lesbians in particular have been demonized by trans rights activists for years and people outside the lesbian community are only beginning to notice now. These males are clearly men in appearance and behavior. No matter how good their imitations of women or femininity are, lesbians are only attracted to the female sex and they hate that lesbians won't make exceptions for them. Lesbians are interested in women and women alone.

They are the reason r/TrueLesbians, a tiny sub that barely hit 15k users, got hit in the banwave. TL would regularly get brigaded for being a female-only/lesbian only sub. A factual statement like "anyone who has or had penis is not a lesbian" or "anyone who likes penis is not lesbian" was seen as hate. This is the same old tired homophobic garbage lesbians have been facing for ages, except now it's dressed up in "progressive" language.

[–]venecia 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ain't that the goddamned truth.

[–]emptiedriver 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

got laughed off the face of the earth in like

No one is laughed off the face of the earth anymore, you can identify any which way you want - the only thing you can't do is be aware of empirical reality, attracted by physical bodies, or comfortable with your embodied self.

Basically people are acting like they live in a video game and we all have to respect the avatar they're playing. You can pretty much constantly expand the world and create new forms but you can't be a bummer and point out that actually they're just a lazy kid on the couch...

[–]venecia 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I need to save your last paragraph, it's too perfect.

I've actually kind of low-key noticed this ''avatar'' thing, where people seem to expect the image they believe they are online and have people ''see'' them that way irl, and be super offended when it doesn't happen. Transpeople madness is right up there with incels when it comes to this.

[–]catoboros 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Trancels.

[–]catoboros 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"Everyone is valid". Except those who acknowledge reality.

[–]zephyranthes 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

...This subsaidit exists because of "male lesbians". Not only they're a thing again, they rule most of the English-speaking Internet. Back on reddit, they even went after the holy of holies, straight men's lesbian porn - and won. Lesbian porn on reddit must have dicks now.

[–]venecia 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Oh yeah, I just thought they'd jump on the ''transwoman'' or ''nonbinary'' bandwagon. Not that it would again be cool to basically call themselves the term that got them laughed out, all over again, because the world has gone so insane that straight men get to claim to be lesbians now and be called stunning and brave.

[–]denverkris 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It was long before that.

[–]catoboros 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Never apologise for being a lesbian. Check out s/lesbians, the new home of the banned Reddit community r/truelesbians. Twitter and Reddit are controlled by narrow-minded authoritarian zealots and do not reflect the wider community.

[–]gencritcurious 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I totally get this. I’m a lesbian too, and i was indoctrinated into the he/him lesbian cult when i was 14 or so?(sometime last year). As someone who was in it at one point, i can safely say its all bullshit. Using he/him online was just a way for me to be ~quirky~ and justify my depression with “im constantly being misgendered”. Ive seen the he/him thing from both sides (tra and gencrit), and not once have i seen a compelling argument for it. tbh ive never seen a male he/him lesbian... usually the males go for she/they instead... but my point still stands, he him lesbians are bullshit

[–]Realwoman 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Are heterosexual people also transphobic for being attracted to the opposite sex only? Wtf has happened here?

[–]oofreesouloo 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No. They claim homosexual is outdated but heterosexual isn't (I've seen proof in LGB drop the T before it got banned, perhaps it is archived?). It's SO ridiculous and infuriating.

[–]Realwoman 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Before I would have said "this makes no sense", but now I'm so jaded that I'd be surprised to see a TRA argument that does make sense.

[–]quickbeam 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I respect the hell out of old-school "homosexual" lesbians. I will do what I can to stand up for you. I'm really sorry you were sent hateful materials. So many online spaces are so full of hate these days, which makes me very determined to not give into it myself and try to spread as much love as I can. You are allowed to set your own boundaries. Your boundaries matter. And they are not up for debate. Take good care and I hope this will be a supportive environment for you!

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can't fathom why young women would support this. The only reason I can imagine is that they're too brainwashed by porn culture and too young to fully grasp how systematic misogyny is, and how bad men can be.

It's as if people are inventing as many "sexualities" as there are porn categories.

More proof to me that frequent exposure to pornography is dangerous for young people's minds, and is harmful to use in excess for anyone.

[–]catoboros 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"he/him lesbians" are likely same-sex attracted females with some transmasculine gender identity, such as trans men or transmasculine nonbinary females. This is jarring in the same way as "nonbinary lesbians" (also often seen) because it combines trans concepts of gender identity with "lesbian", which in this context only makes sense if it means same-sex attracted female, ignoring gender identity. I guess that trans men (i.e. females) who describe themselves as straight men have trouble attracting females interested in female bodies? Anyway, even though this was confusing at first, it is nice to see at least a part of the trans community acknowledging the existence and importance of sex and its role in sexual attraction. I never understood claims that sexual attraction could be influenced by the gender identity of the object of the attraction because gender identity is entirely subjective.

[–]DifferentAirGC 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

From what I've seen, he/him lesbians are usually butches or GNC women. I don't know why they use these pronouns, but imo it seems like they are too hung up on stereotypes, like they think if they are GNC they can't use female pronouns. Or like they think women are inferior and she/her pronouns are degrading because they are associated with womenhood.

[–]RedditVihaaLesboja 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

While I feel you on the vitriol lesbians get online (pop over to s/lesbians!), masc lesbians using he/him pronouns has a long history in the lesbian community. It was (and is) often related to the fact that masc lesbians "passing" in straight settings is safer than existing as a gnc lesbian.

[–]Jalaces 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm an Old(tm) so to me "he/him lesbians" makes me think of back when being a gay woman was illegal, and butch/femme culture wasn't just for fun or a preference, it was a tool for survival out in public. The butch would be the "man" in the relationship in ways that would let the couple avoid some of the scrutiny and abuse that they'd get if people knew they were lesbians. What are people using it to mean nowadays?

[–]Fraeulein 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have seen so many lesbians and transman say that the very concept of a he/him lesbian is harmful to both communities, yet the majority of he/him lesbian supporters I've seen aren't even lesbians or trans people. Just another example of how these people don't give a shit about supporting actual marginalized people. It's the Woke AF Olympics.