I peak transed back in august - I'm going to share my story (it is a DOOZY and quite horrific) but it will take a little time and effort to write. but I realised recently the LGBT community where I socialise is deeply sick and toxic and misogyny is running rampant and being actively perpetrated against females by other females who have been recruited into this ideology. I can't be a part of it anymore. I need healthy, well people around me, who aren't navel gazing narcissists hellbent on identifying themselves out of any discomfort rather than doing anything real to change the material issues marginalised people face. I took the step today of removing over 70 people from my facebook friends list, including all the trans people I know (some for many years). I no longer trust the paradigm of transgenderism being valid and I want to stop seeing anything related to validating it. to be honest, I have begun to experience this ideology as personally harmful to me as the misogyny is unmistakable and I feel like it is actively gaslighting women to distrust our experiences of reality. it triggers me constantly to see it come up over and over. there are hardly any afab people around me now who identify as cis, everyone is "non binary". it is deeply disturbing. not to mention the bunk rhetoric around what a woman does or doesn't mean. I feel like the emperor has no clothes but everyone keeps insisting he does. meanwhile I'm screaming BUT HE HAS NO FUCKING CLOTHES!!!!! I can't trust anyone around me anymore, people I've known over 15 years. and if they knew how I'd felt, they'd disown me in an instant. as I take steps to distance myself from this sick ideology that has taken hold in LGBT spaces, I truly feel like I am leaving a cult and realising so many things deep down I knew but kept denying, wanting to be a good person.

it's liberating but I am terrified for so many LGBT people and women, especially young ones, entering these communities in future. many of the older ones have already butchered or dosed themselves beyond recognition. the impact on butch lesbians has been horrific and was my first sign, ten years ago, something wasn't right. there is so much pain and trauma here for me, around every aspect of this issue. I have to get away from it and seek out spaces and people that are not mired in sheer delusion and utter misogny.