Making Sense of Gender Identity

submitted by JulienMayfair from self.GenderCritical

One of the fundamental things I don't get about this new movement -- on any level, intellectual or emotional -- is how the promoters of these new gender identities find it all so fascinating and significant. I happened to check a post from a Facebook group I used to belong to, and there's a post by a young man who claims to be non-binary. His gender identity and, in particular, "gender affirmation" seem to be all he talks about in his posts, but it's all a lot of verbiage that never seems to land anywhere; it's just the same word salad, tossed and re-tossed. One thing he said struck me, "Anyway, I dyed my hair blue because my anxiety is so high that I needed a new look." That's when I thought, "Ah, I get it now. You're using your novel gender identity to manage your anxiety." He also posted a video, and his body language and verbal mannerisms point to some kind of mental health issue or, perhaps, several layered issues.

The thing is, I don't care about his "gender." I don't care if anyone dyes their hair blue. It's all been done before, and who cares? But I guess it gives these people something to do to distract themselves from more serious mental health issues. I recently heard gender identity referred to as a "maladaptive coping mechanism," and I think that's true for many of these kids. Gender identity is a container into which they pour all their trauma, anxiety, depression, and frustration so that they can tell the world about it in an oblique way while still concealing it both from themselves and others -- because it's too hard to confront it directly.

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[–]lefterfield 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

But I guess it gives these people something to do to distract themselves from more serious mental health issues.

I agree, but I think gender identity ideology is also contributing to if not causing their mental health issues. These are people who spend all day online, have no hobbies or interests beyond their "gender". Many of them likely contribute nothing of value or feel as if they contribute nothing. I heard it described once as being a consumer vs being a producer. If all you do is consume, it's ultimately a shallow, empty life. Producing things that you or others may enjoy requires risk and effort - but also would give them a purpose. I've heard it argued that this is why Jordan Peterson was so despised by these people: He wanted to give young men particularly a purpose. Something to focus on besides themselves.

Gender identity is a container into which they pour all their trauma, anxiety, depression, and frustration so that they can tell the world about it in an oblique way while still concealing it both from themselves and others -- because it's too hard to confront it directly.

Certainly, and I like the way you put this. I'd only add that not only is it a maladaptive coping mechanism, the ideology causes/continues many of their problems. Sure, depression and anxiety may lead them to genderism, but it also teaches them narcissism, paranoia, selfishness - all of which exacerbate whatever underlying problems they had.

[–]JulienMayfair[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It definitely draws them from individual psychological problems into a kind of collective narcissism, and then we have the "Narcissistic Triangle" of Victim, Rescuer/Savior, and Everyone Else in which the narcissist plays the victim and then engages the rescuers/saviors to be their white knight and defend them from the rest of us who are simply baffled by it.

As you alluded to above, this also gives the gender identity allies/rescuers/saviors something to do, a cause to fight for.

I was once recruited by a narcissist as a rescuer and came to his rescue on a number of occasions before I started to realize that he was really the cause of all these conflicts he found himself in wherein he claimed to be misunderstood. Narcissists are really good at this.

[–]BEB 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Studies have shown that trans-identified young people have higher rates than the general population of autism, ADHD, depression, anxiety, sexual/physical abuse (and I'm sure I'm forgetting some), so yes, you are right, rejecting your biological sex seems to be some kind of coping mechanism for some of these kids being sucked into gender ideology.

Oh, and a small Iranian study found significantly higher rates of Narcissistic Personality Disorder in adult transgenders; IIRC the study was only TiMs.

[–]JulienMayfair[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

rejecting your biological sex seems to be some kind of coping mechanism for some of these kids being sucked into gender ideology.

It's rejecting one's biological sex they gain something else, namely a structure that focuses their attention and, crucially, allows them to avoid the real sources of their distress. People will do all sorts of things to avoid dealing with psychological pain. Processing that in therapy is no fun. Dissociation is one way of dealing with trauma, but it is -- or should be -- a temporary survival strategy, not a permanent state of being.

Back on the GC subreddit, we discussed how gender identity is very tempting for autistic kids. It explains their difficulty relating to social situations and provides them with instant online "friends" who cheer them on, plus it gives them an ideology to focus their attention. It's the perfect trap for them.

[–]BiologyIsReal 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

As far as I read, eating disorders are overrepresented, too.

[–]censorshipment 2 insightful - 6 fun2 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I can relate to the kid. I used to post videos on YouTube in 2008 until 2010 while I was in a relationship with an abusive older woman. My anxiety and anger were high. I shaved my head completely bald after my 25th birthday and posted a picture of myself, chugging Grey Goose from the bottle, on Facebook. My family was worried... my mom called me in tears, begging me to move back home. I was dysphoric as hell, and my girlfriend was controlling... coercing me into receiving oral sex (I preferred to masturbate). Of course, I wasn't telling anyone what was going on in that household... people only saw me spiraling. Instead of self-harming (well, I was an alcoholic), I talked to other gnc lesbians (some identified as men like I did at the time) on YouTube. It was therapeutic. Also, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I've never been suicidal... but I had violent thoughts. I've always said, if I were a white male instead of a black female... I'd be infamous.

I do give my ex-girlfriend credit for helping me embrace that I'm a woman. The sex was good despite my discomfort for the first year. She knew how to make my kitty purrrrr. 😸

I say all of that to say: the kid is using social media as group therapy / a support group.

[–]MarkTwainiac 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Great post. Spot on.

One of the great male "gender benders" of the 70s & 80s, Marilyn Peter Robinson, now Mr Marilyn, released an song a couple of years ago today's "gender" preoccupied peeps would do well to heed. It's called Just Be:

https://youtu.be/X1vfQvOdK9M