Beyond Feminine clothing as a masturbatory aide.
and this is coming from a non-dysphoric.
It's not entirely BS when they say: "i do it not just for eroticism.. i feel, free"
or something similar.
i don't know what it is... but there is some kind of alternate pleasure source? it's i guess coming from some kind of sexual something, but it does feel different, for lack of a better term.
a kind of satisfaction?
maybe it's just a way to passively apply softcore pornography toward yourself?
maybe the ritual of preparing for a distant reward is itself reinforcing?
I wonder if it could mean something.... most men enjoy eyecandy, is it inverted eyecandy? does it trick the brain into thinking you're in proximity to the feminine and thus trigger some other source meant to reinforce a particular behavior? as a virgin i don't have too many feelings to compare it toward i suppose.
The times i've dressed, seeing myself looking ridiculous in the mirror does seem to trigger dysphoria of a kind, perhaps just common shame.
to imagine actually looking good though. it seems to trigger a longing.. or something else.. what could it represent..
is it just the desire to experience the AGP dopamine hit?
it certainly sometimes feels like something more.
it's odd how many emotions crossdressing can stir up if you let yourself dwell on it.
if i allow myself to think of a hypothetical day where, a magic wand was waved, i got to live as a passing cross-dresser for a day. i really would want to do it even without thinking about getting off, it just seems fun. it just feels like i want to, because i want to.
i think it stems from eroticism of course, but it's not immediately obvious. it seems to be a parallel form of enjoyment. i think the transgender activists use this "sensation" often when they are trying to persuade a potential convert.
the desert island test, they say: "if you're alone on a deserted island, and without ever considering sex, would you still want to dress like a woman?"
i wonder what it is..
ps: i don't dress and masturbate to myself being dressed.
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