When did you know you were a lesbian?

VioletRemi · 2020-07-15T15:48:06+00:00

I always liked women, but never know that it is possible to be in relationship with a women. So I was only looking at my classmates, and almost never was looking at boys. There were no information about any gay relationship. Just when I hit 18, I married on a good man (and he was really amazing and good person), but I still felt very off, I thought I am wrong or something, however because of some events not directly connected to me or him - we divorced. I was a student back then, and I was pretty sad. I lived in dormitory with 5 other women, and I asked to move to less crowded room to bear with my depression, and I was moved into 2-women room. Room was very small, so we had only one big bed instead of two. And when we started sleeping, I was blown away by her scent and her sleeping, so at one night I kissed her for some reason, and that was amazing, I realized it is what I want. And she was in America as exchange student few times, so she knew about LGB a bit, so we ended having sex that night, and started secret relationship. I did not know how it is called back then, word "lesbian" I learned only few years after. When other students learned about our relationship, I was beaten and almost "correctivelly" raped, but Principle saw that and stopped them, however she was still okay for them beating me "as a lesson". Because of all this hate and me feeling my "wrongfulness" I tried dating boys againg, but...I felt nothing, it always felt wrong. So I ended up again dating other girls. It was really hard to find another lesbian in such homophobic society.

Les · 2020-07-15T12:49:29+00:00

I've always liked girls and women as a child, but I never realized I was different from other women until the lesbophobic taunting started. That's when I started to do everything in my power to try and "convert" myself. For so long I was in denial, pretending I could make myself fall in love with a guy if I just tried or ignored everything that made men, men. After many years of struggling against internalized homophobia and realizing there was no changing my sexuality I finally had to face the music.

I love being a lesbian. I would not trade it for anything in the world. Do I wish I would have accepted myself sooner? Yes. But I'm happy with where I am now. If only the outside world would catch up I'd be in heaven.

CatsOrGoHome · 2020-07-15T15:24:46+00:00

I knew I liked girls as far back as my earliest memories when I thought Emma Watson and a girl in kindergarten were pretty. Even though I knew 100 percent I was only into girls, I called myself bisexual because of pressure and wanted to believe I might eventually find a guy cute. I never did and gave up that crazy pipe dream and started to embrace calling myself a lesbian in 8th grade.

Lessom · 2020-07-15T16:17:34+00:00

I knew I liked girls at 6 years old as I had a crush on a girl in school. I was around 11 when I found out what a lesbian was and how we were perceived negatively by some including my religious family.

Then I spent my teenage years being ashamed about it and desperately wanting to be straight. So Tried feeling things for boys to gain acceptance and it just wouldn’t happen. My eyes were solely focused on the pretty girls even when I didn’t want them to lol

I was around 19 years old when I stopped believing in religion and accepted being a lesbian.

Rubyredpython · 2020-07-15T17:43:06+00:00

I've always liked women but I didn't realize I was a lesbian until my 20s then looking back I was like, "wow, I was so gay and didn't even know it". 😅

Me coming out to myself was like the universe finally slapping me in the face because the gentle nudges weren't working. I was watching a show that had a coming out arch and it was so similar to what I was feeling that I finally realized "oh shit, I'm gay!" Like everything made sense, my lack of interest in men and not wanting to date them and all my crushes that I didn't know were crushes at the time. At one point I thought I was asexual because I had zero interest in men. That was also the first year I fell hard for a woman and knew for a fact I was gay. Apparently, everyone else around me knew I was a lesbian long before I did. 😂

loona · 2020-07-15T22:01:37+00:00

Since I was 5, I've always known I liked women tbh. I think one of my first crushes at that age was the Pink Power Ranger, Kimberly, and Miss Honey from Matilda :P The only guys I've ever had even the tiniest hints of crushes on all turned out to be gay and were some-what feminine lmao.

I never really made it a big deal about liking the same sex, and I'm sure I had people speculate about me in high school but I never really cared. It wasn't until my mid-20s that I fully came out tho.

whateverman · 2020-07-15T17:02:55+00:00

I knew since I was a tween, but I was too ashamed to really admit it to myself until I was in my early twenties.

StrictlyDykley · 2020-07-15T16:33:35+00:00

Puberty.

RaiderRedT · 2020-07-15T20:21:36+00:00

i knew it when i was in kindergarten. i was 5. there was this cute girl in my class who had given a love letter (something like "i like you. do you like me?") to a boy in the class and he had been a dick and showed it to everyone so they were all making fun of her. and i told her that if she had given me the love letter i would have been glad to have it. i wanted to make her feel better and i genuinely thought she was cute.

pixels_and_glitches · 2020-07-15T20:45:34+00:00

Not until I was 34 / 35, even though people have been calling me gay since I was 10. I get kind of mad at myself when I think about it.

Lesbianvodkaaunt · 2020-07-15T19:18:01+00:00

I always thought girls were pretty, and I couldn’t understand why other girls were always talking about boys. I pretended to have a crush on a guy I was friends with in elementary school because my friends told me I had to have a crush on a guy. It totally fucked up our friendship. In 7th grade a girl my age moved in next door. I liked her but I didn’t know it then, so I just tried to be like her. She came out as bisexual, and I thought maybe I was bisexual too. I stuck with that for about a year or so. I dated a guy at the beginning of 9th grade and he was nice but I couldn’t figure out why I still just felt like we were friends. Around this time I started actually feel attracted to girls. (Before puberty I just thought they were pretty, and I was sort of a late bloomer). I came out as a lesbian around 15. I guess I knew I liked girls a long time before I knew I didn’t like boys the same way. I just thought other girls were weirdly obsessed with them. I always felt different though, so I guess being a lesbian affected my life before I even knew what a lesbian was, lol.

catsuneko · 2020-07-15T21:26:41+00:00

Looking back at my childhood it was really obvious, I was always disgusted at the thought of being with a man and never wanted to get married. Instead I wanted to spend the rest of my life with a female "best friend" lol. But I didn't actually realize I liked girls until I was 13 when I developed a crush on a friend, however it didn't immediately click that I was a lesbian. I assumed I must be bi bc up until then I just assumed I was straight, and also I was into Tumblr at the time, where being bisexual is the woke thing to be. So for a while I thought I was bi, but I did realize I actually wasn't and it still didn't click I was lesbian and idk why but I then thought I was asexual, and I went through the embarrassing cycle of different Tumblr sexualities (cringe), frequently coming back to asexuality because of my lack of sexual attraction to men, and my complete disinterest in dating them. There were a few times during this when I thought maybe I was a lesbian, but I had a lot of internalized homophobia and according to the wokes lesbian=bad. I didn't fully come to terms with my sexuality until I was 18.

theysaidthat · 2020-07-15T17:25:30+00:00

I knew when I was 10. A new girl joined our 5th grade class and I became smitten with her basically the first moment I saw her. I had suspected I felt differently about girls before that, but this experience confirmed that I "liked girls like boys did". Of course I had no idea that women dating women was an option back then lol.

I remember telling my older sister about my crush, she said "no, you just really want to be her friend because she's pretty and popular, it's normal". I tried to tell her again when I was 14, after having had experience with guys and hating it. She told me I just hadn't found a guy I liked yet. I was "out" to my close friends and a few siblings as bi from that point forward. I vehemently denied not being straight to anyone else though, the older people in my family would not have tolerated it nor anyone at my Christian school. My sister begged me to find a guy I liked even just a little and be with him because it would make my life so much easier. This "bi" phase lasted until I was 21 and accepted I would never like men (and I really did try), and finally came out as a lesbian, damn what everyone thought. The funny thing is, the family members that would have been angry had already passed away at that point, and social acceptance had increased so much over that last decade that nobody in my family thought much of it after all.

al-Amira · 2020-07-15T20:38:41+00:00

Well... I didn't have a word for it, but when everyone else in my class during the fourth grade started getting into relationships (which equated to holding hands during breaks) I wanted to do that with one of the girls in my class whom I thought was pretty. So I guess since I was like 10 years old. Was around the 7th grade that I actually got a word for it though.

PlayCardsNotPeople · 2020-07-16T07:17:42+00:00

A few months into having sex with my first girlfriend at age 18 it started dawning on me.

rupp · 2020-07-15T17:57:55+00:00

When I was preteen. I was about 11 when I started to realise I liked females. I thought I could be bisexual, because of pressure from others. I came out when I was 15, but other toxic people (obviously from the Q slur, most likely hetero), tried to invalidate me as a lesbian, because some turd nugget took advantage of me (nothing extremely terrible happened (still awful tho), because I'm a virgin). I then thought because of their bullying, maybe they're right, so I was back into the closet. Then, I came out again, saying those people are stupid and what the hell do they even know. People have done the same thing with my autism; I had internalised lesbophobia, austimphobia, and ableism when I was 14 years old, because of it. I for a while was once part of the TRA, but recently, I got away from them, because of some of them name calling me as "dense" and "transphobic".

HighlyDykely · 2020-07-15T18:30:07+00:00

I kinda knew I was attracted to girls when I was a kid but it never really registered to me fully until sophomore year of highschool. There was this girl in my Latin class and I was absolutely over the moon for her but of course I never said anything to her other than the usual friendly stuff you say to any classmate XD Every so often I wonder if she could tell I felt something for her. Might have been a missed opportunity there lmao

XTenor · 2020-07-15T23:15:12+00:00

The first time I had a crush on anybody was a female friend when I was 5. I had crushes on various real and fictional girls when I was young, but I thought girls had to like boys, and that girls can't like other girls. I think I learned what being gay was when I was 12, and I identified with it, but I grew up in a really conservative, traditional, United Methodist family, so being gay was frowned upon. This was also a few months after same-sex marriage was legalized in the US, and I sat through many anti-gay sermons during that time, and I think that really impacted me. I tried to ignore that I'm attracted to women, and I tried to like guys, but I just couldn't. In high school I wondered why there were no hot guys, and I never dated anyone but I was never bothered about being single, yet I still tried to be straight. I finally accepted that I'm a lesbian halfway through my senior year (this past November/December, I was 18), and now I'm cool with it.

vodkaconlimon · 2020-07-16T01:28:36+00:00

I always found women much more interesting than men, and I remember looking at my female classmates with some interest since my childhood, but not-liking-men wasn't a concept I thought possible for me until I was 20. see, I thought I was bisexual since I was 14 but I realized I didn't like men after some unjoyable experiences with boys at clubs. and when I tried with girls it was so different, so that was the click for me. and that when I am drunk I only want women. after some thinking and reading about comp het, the fact I never liked kissing men and the thought of having any kind of contact with a dick or male body disgusts me finally made sense. so yeah, that was it for me. I'm still trying to accept this side of myself.

Rhapsodys-babe · 2020-07-16T17:04:45+00:00

So this was around the peak id say of my puberty, say around 15-16 yrs old that I finally discovered that I liked girls (despite being disillusioned to calling myself bi first because of internalized homophobia). I look back on small details from growing up and I just can’t believe I didn’t realize sooner! There were so many signs that I was a lesbian, but simply I didn’t know being lesbian was possible.

LesbiSilly · 2020-07-17T07:18:37+00:00

Thanks to online forums like Gaia Online, I was introduced to LGBT (Back when things were... not so great.) And I thought I was asexual, because I didn't like guys. But then, talking to my mom, she said profound words to me, "you know you don't have to like guys." I think she said I could like girls and then I went off to sleep with cute 13 year old dreams of holding hands with my girlfriend who I was taking to meet my family.

That's when I realised I liked women.

It's been a roller-coaster, but I'm here and proud. Thanks mom and thanks my truly loving and accepting family. T_T

oofreesouloo · 2020-07-19T04:06:12+00:00

13/14 - when puberty hit. I was suddenly "waaaaaaaaait a damn minute, women are hot as f*ck" lmao. There were obvious signs of me being lesbian before but I was too "blind" to see due to an heteronormative society. But as soon as puberty hit, women all the way 😂😍

nothankyou · 2020-07-17T01:13:57+00:00

So many signs were there early on. My first relationship was with a girl. We were high school sweethearts, though neither of us was out of the closet and I accepted the bi label at first just to not be gay. This was back in the early 2000s so still a bit taboo at the time to be out of the closet where we were even though people had their suspicions and taunted me for it. The taunting pushed me further in the closet and then I swore to be with men to prove the others wrong, that I was a Grade A Straight™️. I did the straight thing for a couple years, nearly married a dude, and after the second try was like "this isn't me, peace out dudes forever". I knew I was a lesbian for real when I told myself "I will never have to touch a dick again! :D". That and all the other obvious reasons I willfully ignored for so long.

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