What's your petty dealbreaker for relationships?

submitted by Jaded from self.Lesbians

For me I do not care about body hair and whether or not you shave your legs, but you absolutely must keep your underarm and pubic hair neatly trimmed (not necessarily shaved or anything).

I live in a very hot and humid climate and all bushes under the arms and between the legs do is trap sweat and bacteria and cause body odor, and make it more difficult to properly apply antiperspirant/deodorant and scrub clean.

In addition if you don't use a washcloth or at least exfoliate your body regularly that's also a dealbreaker.

I'm very sensitive to smells so strict hygiene and grooming is a must! If I were in a colder climate I wouldn't care so much but I am not dealing with it when it's 110°F and 80%+ humidity.

top 100 commentsshow all 110
sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun

[–]Dykexmachina 40 insightful - 2 fun40 insightful - 1 fun41 insightful - 2 fun -  (47 children)

I won't date a woman who watches porn a lot. There are so many reasons for this I wouldn't even know where to start.

Also I don't feel comfortable dating a woman who mostly dates men or has a preference for men. Would prefer dating only lesbians, but it's a case by case basis. I got my reasons.

Also anime nerds or people who are really into fandom culture. I just do not vibe with that at all. Oh and of course gender-feels people.

[–][deleted] 18 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 3 fun -  (29 children)

Omg this. Especially if they are dulling their sex drive with porn. And don’t even get me started on the types of porn I think women who could not possibly be lesbians are watching. Lol. I’m just a real greedy bitch over being involved with my gfs orgasms. That’s my job and I love my job. Let me love my job!!!

Same feels for women who date men. I wouldn’t date a bi girl if she was actively dating men, like going on dates with guys at the same time as seeking women. That’s petty, I guess. Good one. I was having a hard time thinking up a good petty thing. Lol

[–]Dykexmachina 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Literally same here. I'm a giver lol.

That porn addict woman I dated had a past exclusively with men and she would only watch hetero porn, she said there always had to be a guy. It made me so insecure especially since she wasn't responsive at all to my body, she always seemed to be "in her head" during sex and I knew she was thinking about porn, probably a man. Idk why I stayed tbh. And get this— she was calling herself a "lesbian" at the time.

[–][deleted] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Ugggghhhhhh that’s horrible.

Also, if she had trauma stuff she could have been dissociating. I had to be super careful to make sure my ex didn’t wander off in her head during sex. Sometimes it’s REALLY BAD. Did she ever mention anything?

[–]Dykexmachina 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I was always very attentive with her and making sure she was enjoying herself. If I sense that a girl is uncomfortable or uncertain I back all the way out. I won't give too much detail bc it may be inappropriate and off topic for this thread. But during sex she was very performative and acted like a stereotypical porn star, and I could tell she was trying very very hard to make it work for her, but not looking at me, and I'd end up feeling like a masturbation toy for her. She would actually get mad at me if I felt awkward or wanted to stop. Also ftr this is the same girl I talked about in a different thread who took advantage of me when her guy friend was there and ignored my 12+ No's/Stop's. So this is someone who has fucked up values wrt sex and her porn habit certainly didn't help.

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’ve felt like an accessory to someone’s fetish too, it’s very very gross. And that situation you described with her is so rapey it’s incredible, she was very predatory.

[–]oofreesouloo 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

she would only watch hetero porn, she said there always had to be a guy.

I don't think that woman was a lesbian or even a bi woman LMAO! (I'm a lesbian who actually watches hetero porn and for her to say that it's legitimately very weird.)

"she wasn't responsive at all to my body, she always seemed to be "in her head" during sex" - NOT a lesbian lmao

"I knew she was thinking about porn, probably a man" - NOT a lesbian

I think you were used by one of those curious hetero women who wanted to be ~edgy and cool~ or hate men so much she decides to have a "lesbian phase" so she tries to get the most butch women of all (that, in her eyes, would resemble a guy)

[–]Dykexmachina 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's exactly what I suspected the whole time I dated her but I denied it and thought I was being too mean or paranoid. I was just deluding myself. She was definitely lying and using me to try the lesbian thing. Yeah she had a lot of trauma with men but I'm beyond tired of women using lesbians and the lesbian identity as a stepping stone on their personal journeys to self-realization.

[–][deleted]  (22 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted] 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (18 children)

    That’s fine, but I still like being involved. Like, even just to watch. Lol. She can do what she wants in reality with her own body, but I would sure love to be there for it.

    On porn: I had a friend who was married to a dude and he watched so much porn their sex life and sex quality when they had it was bad, so I have been wary of extreme porn use ever since, it’s probably one of the reasons people don’t date as much or have sex as much now, and that’s actually harmful because it keeps people isolated (before COVID).

    [–][deleted]  (10 children)

    [deleted]

      [–][deleted] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

      It would be straight up psycho to try and control your gfs masturbating, not even petty, insane. I would definitely not ever try to pull some nonsense like that. I would like to be around for it, but not if she wants alone time or whatever.

      But it’s nice to not have porn around because the focus stays on partners, it’s true

      [–]Dykexmachina 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      Same here. Basically what it comes down to is preferring to date someone who is at least mindful of porn and aware of it's negative effects. Someone for who porn doesn't play a major role in shaping her sexuality.

      As far as I can see no one was suggesting controlling their partner's sexuality or their private activities. We just want to be actually compatible with our partners.

      load more comments (1 reply)

        load more comments (7 replies)

          [–]Dykexmachina 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

          Yeah I've heard a lot of stories about people's sex drives being warped or ruined by porn. The girl I dated was really bad, she had other addictions as well. I was lucky with my first gf, she was even more against porn than I was. But we weren't prudes, sex with her was by far the best I've had.

          [–]Jaded[S] 16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

          The anti-porn = anti-sex narrative is some of the most ridiculous and damaging rhetoric I've seen springing up the past few years. Like hardcore pro-porn users legitimately can't understand that it is natural for sex to exist outside of porn

          [–][deleted] 14 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

          I am so pro-sex I could start a sex-pride March and not even be embarrassed if I was the only one who showed up. Lol. The whole “anti-sex” narrative is just a power move by Big Patriarchy and the Handmaidens. Being “sex positive” as a woman in a patriarchy means being a “hot wife” a “milf” or a “teen” and being proud of it like you’re not getting used up and thrown away. So dumb

          [–][deleted] 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

          I’m not a prude either. I am down for whatever, but I certainly don’t need to watch fake sex to let it inform my real sex. Plus the woman content in porn is generally terrible. I ended up watching wrestlefucking type stuff. Like from the 2000s. Lol. Women rolling around pinning eachother is hotter to me than 99.9999 of what I have seen in porn. It’s also fun to do. Haha. It’s just so much hotter to figure out what’s hot with your gf

          [–]SailorMoon2020 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

          That’s fine, but I still like being involved. Like, even just to watch. Lol. She can do what she wants in reality with her own body, but I would sure love to be there for it.

          You don't consider this a bit processive and unhealthy to not allow and/or prefer your woman have her own privacy with herself?

          [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

          Did I say that?

          [–]SailorMoon2020 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          Dude, you don't have to be snarky. Simply ignore the comment and move on. Also my first language isn't English so there could have been a chance I misunderstood your context. But since you wanna be a jerk then f it.

          [–]Dykexmachina 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

          I'd prefer her not to especially if it's straight porn, but I can't control or tell her what to do.

          The cool thing is that I've noticed more and more women going against porn these days.

          I'm glad to see you guys agreeing with me haha I thought people would think I was being harsh.

          [–]Jaded[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          I think due to being fetishized by it, lesbians are more aware than most of the harmful effects of porn. I personally treat porn as any other drug or alcohol-- easy to abuse and become dependent on, but fine if used responsibly and in moderation

          [–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          It’s hard to disagree because porn has gotten really really really away from female pleasure as its subject. 80s porn was lame as hell, but at least women looked like they were as happy as a bunch of housewives eating salad in advertising. Lol. It was gross and exploitive and ridiculous, but now women are really suffering and that is not something many lesbians are gonna be cool with.

          [–]Jaded[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

          I'm fine with my partner consuming porn as long as the degree of use isn't problematic, but I instantly become wary and distrustful of any woman who criticizes when other women either don't use porn or are actively against it. Or if they accuse those women of being "swerfs"

          [–][deleted] 21 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

          Women should be swerfs, ffs. Omg. Ugh.

          I say this as someone who has had many friends and acquaintances doing some form of sex work, including women street hooking. We should really all be swerfs, IMO. People who believe in the whole happy hooker thing are idiots.

          [–]Dykexmachina 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          Yeah as long as it's not an addiction. I've dated a porn addicted woman and she couldn't get off to real sex, she had to watch porn. It caused a lot of strain in the relationship. She admitted she had a problem but it was such a huge turn off.

          And yeah "anti-swerfs" are a red flag, hard pass for me lol. My first girlfriend was anti-porn as well, which was awesome. Wish I kept in touch with her.

          load more comments (2 replies)

            [–][deleted]  (8 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]Jaded[S] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

              I think casual fandom is fine and even endearing, but generally if someone allows themselves to be completely consumed by fandom and makes it the defining feature of their personality I know to stay far away

              [–]Dykexmachina 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

              Yeah casual is fine, most people have dabbled into it here and there at some point. But you can always tell when someone has spent most of their formative years immersed in fandom and other adjacent internet cultures.

              [–]Jaded[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

              Maybe I'm making it up, but I feel like lesbians (LGBs in general really) are more susceptible to becoming pathologically immersed in fandom because it's an easy way in to having a steadfast and loyal group where they belong. For someone who feels like an outsider due to their sexuality, it's a simple and escapist way to feel that sense of belonging they don't have in real life

              [–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

              I think we also have to obsessively look for subtext because they usually throw us scraps. That leads to obsessive fan behaviour in general, I bet

              [–]Jaded[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

              Is it weird that I prefer subtext over canon? I frankly just don't trust writers not to kill off the characters, queer them/invalidate their same-sex attraction, or film/write them exclusively to cater to the male gaze

              [–][deleted] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              I see what you mean, I actually get very nervous over shows trying to do lesbians because they kill them or add some revolving dick or get it totally wrong so often that I am usually a bit on edge when it’s canon, even if I want to see more lesbians

              [–]writerlylesbian 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              I feel you on this one. I've said the same thing to my friends before.

              [–]WildwoodFlower 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

              I didn't think much about the fandom stuff when I wrote my response earlier. But yeah, I'm just too damn old for that scene. Also, my straight best friend from high school was REALLY into all these sci-fi and fantasy conventions back in the 80s and 90s. I only went once and let's just say that I did not "click" with those folks.

              load more comments (1 reply)

                [–]Dykexmachina 24 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

                Oh and people who are really obsessed with /constantly/ checking and updating their social media. The ones who will miss out on once-in-a-lifetime moments because they're too busy filming and taking pictures. I can understand a few pictures and a little video. But I've been with a girl where 90% of every fun thing we did was her taking pictures and videos and making me pose for stuff. I hated it. Like all she cared about was impressing everyone online. Everything was always about pictures, pictures, pictures.

                Okay, I'm done being petty. 😂

                [–][deleted] 8 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

                Omfg. I made my two buddies put their phones away when we were cruising around. “You guys are not gonna stare at your goddamn phones if you hang with me, or I am going HOME.” lolol they put them away and didn’t argue. It was two guys.

                Women fight you.

                Lol. I like your petty because it’s my petty too

                [–]Jaded[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

                Yep, unless film or photography is legitimately a hobby or source of income for you, there's no reason to check out of real life in favor of likes and followers.

                load more comments (1 reply)

                  [–][deleted]  (16 children)

                  [deleted]

                    [–]writerlylesbian 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

                    I once stopped dating a woman because she talked about her family too much. Does that count? To elaborate, though, this woman was someone who, well into adulthood, was still living at home (despite having a good job that would have given her the funds to get her own place), who seemingly had developed very little in the way of independence/friendship networks outside of her immediate family, who also didn't even LIKE her family that much and complained about how awful a lot of them were, especially the extended part of aunts/uncles/cousins etc.

                    And I just thought...What's keeping you there? Basically, nothing but your own fear/hang-ups. And I was probably extra not-sympathetic as someone who left home at 17 with very few resources because it was STILL better than the option of staying where I was.

                    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                    [deleted]

                      [–]writerlylesbian 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

                      I brought it up indirectly, I guess. I asked her something like, where she saw her life going, or what she saw her future as being, and the answer was basically a lot of rambling that amounted to she was staying where she was and couldn't envisage anything else (I should also mention that we were living a few hours apart, so like...How was the relationship realistically going to progress? I move in with her and her family? No thanks). She also really hated travel, which is an issue for me as I LOVE travelling to other places/countries and even lived in another country for a few years.

                      It's true I didn't stick around to 'work on the issues' or whatever, but...That just would have been a lot of investment for what would have likely been little/no reward realistically.

                      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                      [deleted]

                        [–]writerlylesbian 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

                        Phew!

                        [–]Jaded[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

                        It could be cultural. Even as a fourth generation American I felt a lot of pressure to continue to live at home with my family until I get married (if I ever do), and even then my parents wanted my future partner to move in with us

                        [–]writerlylesbian 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

                        It wasn't due to her being from a culture where that was the norm in this case.

                        load more comments (3 replies)

                          [–]Jaded[S] 8 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

                          I think we're too busy being angry over real issues haha

                          [–]just_lesbian_things 5 insightful - 7 fun5 insightful - 6 fun6 insightful - 7 fun -  (4 children)

                          Reporting in! Sandwiches are garbage and if you like them, we'll never work out.

                          [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                          [deleted]

                            [–]Jaded[S] 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

                            When making a PB&J the jelly needs to be on bottom so it touches your tongue first, otherwise the peanut butter overpowers the flavor. Jelly on top is just wrong.

                            [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

                            Sammich alchemy

                            load more comments (1 reply)

                              [–][deleted]  (6 children)

                              [deleted]

                                [–]writerlylesbian 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

                                A gay male friend of mine had a conversation with a bunch of guys, both gay and straight, where they all talked about wanting to be the little spoon at least some of the time. Perfectly legit.

                                [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                                [deleted]

                                  [–]Jaded[S] 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

                                  I don't have a preference when it comes to spooning while cuddling during a movie or whatever. But stay the fuck away from me when I'm trying to sleep-- I'm a light enough sleeper as it is and don't need need more reasons to be sleep deprived

                                  [–]tacticaldyke 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

                                  I can cuddle a little in sleep but I need the room to be an ice box as I’m not about being sweaty, in a non-sexual context, in bed.

                                  [–]writerlylesbian 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

                                  Yeah, I think my friend was a bit surprised at how adamant so many of these guys were about it, but I thought about it, and said that it makes sense everyone would want to have that feeling of being safe/protected/loved that comes from being held.

                                  [–]Fuckyoucensorship 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

                                  This but the exact opposite. I refuse to be little spoon. You're nicer then me I won't negotiate. It's I'm big spoon or we cuddle in a different position.

                                  [–][deleted] 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

                                  I thought of another one: women who needs magic wand type vibrators to get off. It can be a major ordeal because things are so desensitized to regular manual stimulation. I just really don’t love vibrators involved

                                  [–]Jaded[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

                                  I dislike vibrators as well. On the occasion I do use one I can't use it for direct clitoral stimulation, even on the lowest setting

                                  [–][deleted] 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

                                  Use it on your pelvic bone, the mons area. If I was going to bust one of those out it would be after orgasms have already happened and I am gonna get creative with my partner. Lol. It’s for those special occasions where she “can’t come anymore.....”

                                  load more comments (1 reply)

                                    [–][deleted] 16 insightful - 3 fun16 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

                                    Being late. It drives me insane, it’s not like you don’t know what time we supposed to be somewhere. Private time, I need it. A billion years ago when I was dating this seemed to be something that was an issue. Over takers. Running commentary isn’t required. Silence is awesome some times and doesn’t need to be filled.

                                    [–]yayblueberries 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

                                    I love these, because these things are important to me too. People being late and then not even acknowledging that they messed up/didn't plan/had an oof happen KILL ME. I want to choke people like that, it's selfish and totally inconsiderate! I find time a very important concept.

                                    And yup I have found me needing private time to be an issue in MOST any type of relationship, why are people so CLINGY? Even the woman I'm renting a room from keeps mentioning that I'm so quiet, like somehow having a quiet tenant is weird. Okay then.

                                    [–][deleted] 13 insightful - 5 fun13 insightful - 4 fun14 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

                                    If she thinks modern country is good music, I'm going to have to pass. I don't expect to share tastes in music, but that's where I draw the line.

                                    [–]Fraeulein 9 insightful - 10 fun9 insightful - 9 fun10 insightful - 10 fun -  (0 children)

                                    Girls who are shorter than me. I'm already short, and someone in the house has got to be able to reach the top shelf!

                                    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                                    [deleted]

                                      [–][deleted]  (6 children)

                                      [deleted]

                                        [–][deleted]  (4 children)

                                        [deleted]

                                          [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                                          [deleted]

                                            [–][deleted] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

                                            She sounds like an idiot

                                            [–][deleted] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

                                            yes. but i was more of one for thinking she was worth being with. i have been pretty dumb in my younger years.

                                            [–]Lessom 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

                                            Wait there are people that choose to not wash fruit and vegetables before eating them?

                                            [–][deleted]  (3 children)

                                            [deleted]

                                              [–]Dykexmachina 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

                                              Yeah I can't stand people who are weird and elitist about music taste.

                                              [–]Jaded[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

                                              I get what you mean. To say a genre of music is not to your tastes is one thing, but to actively look down on it and as well as your interest in it can be indicative of a disrespectful person. It depends on the attitude behind it.

                                              I like the smell of fresh perspiration on a woman. I dislike the smell of stale perspiration and clogged pores

                                              load more comments (1 reply)

                                                [–][deleted] 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

                                                If someone uses a lot of "cutesy" language like "I has a sad" or calling birds "birbs" or snakes "sneks", they're going out with the trash. I do not mind in (very moderate) moderation and have been guilty in the past of using a word or two ironically only for it to segue into not-so-ironically.

                                                [–]midnight305 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

                                                Drugs or drinking or smoking.

                                                Addiction runs in my family and I dont want to get with someone who cant live without drinking doing drugs or smoking pot every single day to function. Let alone getting with a chain smoker that's absolutely a deal breaker.

                                                I want to be with someone who is present and not high all the time or smells like disgusting cigarettes all the time or drinks all the time. It gets super annoying .

                                                Now I dont mind anyone smoking pot as long as it isn't like candy to you...same for drinking .

                                                But alcohol makes me very uncomfortable because drunks run in my family and often leads to a very abusive relationship so I rather skip all the annoying drama.

                                                I also have a k9 scence of smell and I absolutely hate the smell of cigarettes or alcohol. That and I been around smokers most of my life and with my bad health I just cant handle cigarette smoke or pot smoke anymore it gives me massive migraines , water eyes, and triggers my asthma.

                                                [–]VioletRemi 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

                                                I don't think I have such things. I suppose only dealbreaker is if she will be way too "correct" and will be applying stereotypes on everything, or if she is waaaaay to invasive. And if she is often smoking actually can be a big turn off.

                                                [–][deleted] 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

                                                I don’t think I have any petty dealbreakers. Maybe intolerable taste in music?

                                                [–]plumedoomer 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

                                                That is very legitimate. There’s a certain genre of music that’s kind of painful to me. Sound ridiculous, but it is.

                                                [–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

                                                I am very music involved as a human. I find really vapid music like being assaulted in my ears. Lol

                                                [–]whateverman 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

                                                I dated a girl for a few months that was really into clubbing with her friends. I just couldn't take it anymore. It's just not what I'm into. We were just a bad match.

                                                [–]Graythoughts 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

                                                Someone who can’t handle that I don’t drink or smoke pot often/hardly at all? It drove my last girlfriend crazy that I wasn’t always fucked up like she was (though she kept saying it was for medical purposes.)

                                                I mean I like a nice glass of wine once in a while but it’s just not a weekly or even monthly thing for me - it took me a long time to get where I could enjoy life with a clear head and I wanna keep it that way.

                                                Not to mention it’s mixes horribly with my medication. Like Jesus Christ, at least give a damn about my health.

                                                [–]yayblueberries 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

                                                A woman obsessed with scents and needs to keep using air fresheners and Febreze is not welcome in my life. Those things smell absolutely terrible and trigger my migraines and asthma. Also, learn to clean, for real. If your living area stinks it doesn't need to be coated with that crap, it needs a deep cleaning. I don't care for most candles, either, so somebody who needs to have fake-ass scented candles burning all the time is also out. And even the stench of newer Tide is disgusting, but there is not so much a weird mentality behind that, seems people are more likely to easily switch their detergent than to stop using gross air fresheners.

                                                (On the flip side, weed, incense, deodorant, and most perfumes/colognes, essential oils are all cool, it's that artificial sweet stink I can't stand.)

                                                [–]begonia_skies 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

                                                Probably smoking, I would not date a smoker, it's just so gross to me. I'm also pretty hygienic so someone who leaves dirty dishes around the house or does not clean up is probably going to drive me crazy. I'm also in my mid-30s now so skincare and my hair routine is a whole thing (I have curly hair), I don't feel like I have to date someone who can relate to that, but if you don't at least wear sunscreen every day I'm going to silently judge you.

                                                [–]SailorMoon2020 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

                                                It's interesting you say such things about pubic hair. Sources state it actually prevents bacterial build up and produces pheromones which helps play a part in sexual arousal.

                                                It gets hot like that where I live as well but I actually prefer not to shave because of the benefits. Plus I love my scent lol. The only bad thing with pubic hair for me is I secret like crazy when aroused and well...

                                                Everything else you said sounds pretty non-petty to me. When you said "petty reasons", I'm thinking, "oh, I broke up with this girl because I didn't like the way her burps smelt."

                                                I've had a very negative experience with feminist that if I date one once more, and she claims to be one, I'm ending it right there.

                                                [–]Jaded[S] 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

                                                Trimmed, as in kept under an inch in length-- not shaved. I actually dislike shaved because I don't like feeling the stubble on my face when I go down on her.

                                                [–][deleted] 7 insightful - 7 fun7 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 7 fun -  (2 children)

                                                PUSSY BURRRRNNN. it kills. It kills tribbing too

                                                [–]Jaded[S] 7 insightful - 14 fun7 insightful - 13 fun8 insightful - 14 fun -  (1 child)

                                                The tribbing, yes!!! Like I just want to enjoy the wet feel of a woman on my thighs but then all I can focus on is SCRITCHY-SCRATCHY-PUSSY-PATCHY

                                                [–][deleted] 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

                                                Dude, it’s xxx but hair stubble against your CLIT omg nooooo why?!

                                                That is the biggest reason to not shave cleanly down to skin. That’s not the friction you need.

                                                I am a hard worker and very determined to find the perfect angle for both of us, but there is no angle where stubble pussy is soothing. Plus i have such sensitive skin it looks like I am rashing out. Not sexy

                                                [–]11mile_house 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

                                                I can’t date a woman who’s a lot taller than me. Makes me feel like I’m in a hetero relationship.

                                                edit: I just saw a girl above who doesn't like girls shorter than her so maybe I found a match?

                                                [–]tacticaldyke 11 insightful - 13 fun11 insightful - 12 fun12 insightful - 13 fun -  (1 child)

                                                Huh, personally I prefer much taller women. It doesn’t feel particularly heterosexual when her breasts are right around my eyeline. 👀

                                                [–]WildwoodFlower 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

                                                Smoking and drugs are the two major deal breakers. Well, a little weed (or edibles) on rare occasions is OK, but I hate the smell of that stuff and I don't want my house to smell like Cheech and Chong's van. Social drinking is OK, even though I am not much of a drinker myself. But I can't deal with an alcoholic, and I am speaking from personal experience here.

                                                Other deal breakers: 1. She doesn't read/has no intellectual curiosity. 2. She supports Trump. 3. She is so covered in tattoos and piercings, or has had so much cosmetic surgery, that I can't even see what she really looks like. 4. She was not "assigned female at birth."

                                                There's more (I am picky), but this will suffice.

                                                [–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

                                                1.ditto 2.ditto because people who support trump are mentally ill/delusional 3.ditto 4.ditto

                                                load more comments (1 reply)

                                                  [–]Doorknob8 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

                                                  If I don't like their voice. If their lips are too thin, I have fuller lips and it just does not click for me when kissing.

                                                  [–]Gynephile 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

                                                  I won't date a woman who is a cop, dog lover/owner, born in 1994, obsessed with video games/anime, communist, has kids or smokes weed (it literally stinks just like cigs).

                                                  load more comments (2 replies)