all 69 comments

[–]LesFi 23 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

North Africa. Extremely homophobic country, you might not get killed but you'd get shunned by pretty much everyone you know and you risk long term imprisonment. I'm planning on leaving in maximum two years, but it's tough. I don't know anyone trustworthy in Europe and leaving alone scares the crap out of me, especially since I grew up very sheltered (which is the norm for girls here), but it's my best way out.

[–]Destresse 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Hey, I live in France and from what little I know it is pretty easy to immigrate here. If you speak french feel free to DM me and I could link you some info :)

[–]LesFi 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was actually planning on leaving for France! Would love talking about it with you :D

[–]RedditHatesLesbians 18 insightful - 5 fun18 insightful - 4 fun19 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Poland! Yikes I know

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 13 fun10 insightful - 12 fun11 insightful - 13 fun -  (0 children)


[–]yayblueberries 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Upstate New York. It's a lonely place. There are lesbians around but NY sucks so a lot of them are quite a lot older than me and are here out of some sort of crushing obligation, such as taking care of a dying family member. A miserable place.

[–]PasLagardere 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

As a European I always thought New York should have plenty of lesbians since it’s so big. How would you describe the dating scene?

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]7of99 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    This. Most of upstate New York is rural, lots of conservative communities, though the cities are typically very liberal. The major cities are places like Albany, Syracuse, Rochester, and Buffalo, and the distance west to east between Buffalo and Albany is almost 500 km. Not far outside the cities is mostly farmland and some mountainous terrain. The metropolitan areas I listed range from about 650,000 to 1.1 million compared to almost 19 million for the NYC area.

    Upstate New York used to have thriving industry but most of the good manufacturing jobs don't exist anymore and a lot of the cities are in decay. Extreme socioeconomic disparities exist in the cities, especially when compared with nearby suburbs, and the school districts seriously underperform with math proficiency rates of about 20% for math in Rochester and Buffalo, the two most populous (although the scores are for the city districts only and not the wider metro areas) compared to the state average of 55%. Some of the Buffalo schools had 5% proficiency rate in math. So I get why she paints it as bleak.

    [–]PasLagardere 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Aaaah, that explains! Thanks a lot!

    [–]ohbarnacles 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I live in upstate Vermont (lived in Plattsburgh, NY for a short while too) and I feel the same way. I wish it was easier to find likeminded people around here.

    [–]VioletRemi 12 insightful - 5 fun12 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

    I am Ukrainian. And seems like TL and here are mostly women from USA or Canada, as everyone is active when I am asleep or on work.

    [–]Innisfree 12 insightful - 4 fun12 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

    I'm in the giant cupboard under the stairs that is Eastern Europe.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–]IamWomanHearMeRoar[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

      Is it not easy to meet other gays/lesbians?

      [–]CJLez 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      Somewhere in the East of England. There's a couple of LGBT meet-up groups and a couple of gay clubs that I've found locally. There was a lesbian pub I went to pre-covid but it was very, very painfully clear that unless you were known to the landladies you weren't welcomed so that was a total bust. No wonder it was practically empty.

      [–]EzukiRaen 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      I'm from Bermuda. I don't currently live there and have been gone for about two years. I wasn't a part of the scene back home so my information may be slightly off.

      Bermuda's a very conservative country. That mostly has to do with the amount of churches that are on the island/ how religious most people are. It's just barely an exageration to say you can't go 30ft without seeing a church. This is important because, from my experience, even though the younger generations are more open, if they're religious, they will most likely be homophobic. However, that doesn't mean you'll get hurt or killed.

      There are mixed opinions: half will see it as weird or gross (but they most likely won't comment), whereas, the other half doesn't care at all. Bermuda's become a lot more open in the two years that I've been gone though. They had their first pride parade last year.

      The community itself is very small but, I think that's just because the island is tiny. And regardless of personal feelings people may have, Bermudians are generally very friendly people. Hospitality is basically second nature to us.

      [–][deleted] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

      the great red and covid friendly state of texas. pretty lonely for lesbians here -- at least for me. haven't met many. people are surprisingly not "beat-the-crap-out-of-gays". even my parents' conservative church recently stood up for gay rights. it is also very hot. had a near record breaking string of 100+ degree days here in july.

      [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

      Same! Most women where I am already have a bunch of kids and I'm not down with having kids. I hear Houston and Dallas are better for lesbians. Austin is open but doesn't seem to really have a scene.

      [–]Mobymaybe 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      I’m in Houston. We have lesbian scene, its just spread geographically and depends what your interests are. We have one lesbian bar, hopefully it survives in this economy.

      [–][deleted]  (4 children)


        [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

        haha i thought that was Kentucky because they keep mitch mcconnell in power. but Tennessee is right next door...... p.s. you told me before in another topic your state. i have a good memory. just wanted to reassure you i'm not stalking you or anything tacky like that.

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)


          [–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          If it makes you feel better TN definitely got horses right. It might not be much, but at least it’s something.

          [–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          true about the governors. you do have my sympathies.

          [–]writerlylesbian 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

          Australia. Currently having our second wave of Covid infections. Like, our case numbers here are still tiny compared to many other parts of the world, but we were so close to elimination for a while there, and now it's all gone to shit :/

          [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          ah man -- i'm sorry to hear about the covid resurg. i hate this frickin virus.

          [–]SystemOfADowJones 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          South Carolina. My only solace here is the mountains, which I'm lucky to live by.

          [–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          Middle of nowhere eastern Washington. I grew up here, then moved to LA for a weird period of my life then moved back when my family needed me.

          [–]plotbunny 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          Canadian checking in!

          [–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

          southern MI. i don't know anyone & i'm not involved in any sort of community but i see a lot of older couples just out & about, & a few younger ones too. plenty of homophobes but they don't seem empowered enough to do anything about it anymore so i'm pretty comfortable being honest. or at least not pretending to be straight lol.

          [–]IamWomanHearMeRoar[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)


          [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          yup! god bless us lmao

          [–]whateverman 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)


          [–]SailorMoon2020 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          Born in Denmark. There until 8. We then moved to Puerto Rico. Few years later, we moved to the mainland.

          [–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

          South of the UK. We're actually having great weather right now!

          [–]IamWomanHearMeRoar[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          Lucky you!

          [–]Ricky_Ticky 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

          I am originally from Eastern Europe but moved to Germany years ago

          [–]paintchips 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

          The UK!

          [–]votkriscan 3 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

          Your username really echoes your English roots! "Paintchips" reminds me of "Fish and Chips". :D

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)


            [–][deleted]  (1 child)


              [–]Gearbeta 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

              New Jersey

              [–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

              I’m in Pennsylvania! Hello neighbor

              [–]IamWomanHearMeRoar[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)


              [–]yousaythosethings 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

              Oh hey PA, NJ, and NY people.

              [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

              Hi there! I’m grateful for the timid weather we had today. It hasn’t been as hot as it’s been

              [–]yousaythosethings 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

              I’ve had to resort to going outside very early in the morning or in the evening because it’s been so stupidly hot and humid. Although it feels a lot nicer on the beach.

              [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              I haven’t even been to the beach, it’s been so hot

              [–]knownasness 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

              nyc. it's the best. i wish i could go outside and do shit tho.

              [–]yousaythosethings 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

              Where are the sane lesbians in NYC who are not indoctrinated into genderism and don’t believe they are not women?

              [–]knownasness 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

              we are hiding. don't wanna be cancelled yanno

              [–]yousaythosethings 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

              Keep fighting the good fight (quietly).

              [–]7of99 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

              I feel like I'm going to need to live near a population dense area to have a good chance of having a serious relationship unless I win the lesbian lottery and meet my soul-mate by chance, because I have a hard enough time clicking with people platonically, and then multiply that by the proportion of the population who is lesbian, I'm going to have to very actively look for connections, which is completely against my nature (I could spend the rest of my life as a recluse only interacting with one or two people and eschewing all other social contact, working online, and be completely satisfied, but I want one of them to be a woman whom I love and am completely devoted to and she's not just going to ring my doorbell like some lesbian missionary) and not at all easy. My only sexual and romantic experiences are from late high school and college, where I didn't have to put in much effort to find lesbian and bi girls because fortunately they were very liberal schools and this was right before the gender madness took hold. But I've been working on it, and I was even starting to go out to gay bars and chat with women just before the pandemic, which has really fucked up my social progress.

              Living in NYC would really bum me out now though because I live to run and hike outdoors and see shows and was really starting to enjoy going out to bars and meeting women, even though I hadn't really hit it off with anyone yet. I'm also wary because I've heard these big cities are where gender dogma runs rampant, but I don't think my employer (or most prospective employers in my industry) would give a shit if someone called in and complained saying I was trans-exclusive, as long as I wasn't creating an HR problem at work or making a huge fuss about it publicly in a way that the company could easily be smeared by association. And by sheer numbers, there are bound to be many lesbians there who are over this bullshit like you, and I couldn't give two shits if the gender brigade and its followers hate my guts as long as it doesn't affect me materially. I spent most of my early school years being hated by many of my peers for being a loner, unfeminine, and ideological outsider as an atheist liberal in a very religious conservative environment, and it didn't help that I wasn't into most of the "in" things. So I've gotten used to not caring what small-minded people think of me, even if they are the majority and do their best to make my life difficult.

              [–]Innisfree 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

              she's not just going to ring my doorbell like some lesbian missionary

              LOL here's me sitting at home waiting for that doorbell to ring. I've been doing lesbianing wrong :)

              [–][deleted] 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

              I used to wish there were more lesbians delivering pizza.

              [–]Innisfree 5 insightful - 6 fun5 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 6 fun -  (2 children)

              I sense a lesbian romcom plot cooking :)

              [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

              Hold the Sausage.

              [–]Innisfree 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

              The Vagitarian Special

              [–]PasLagardere 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)


              [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              Austin, Texas

              [–]Mobymaybe 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              Houston, Texas!

              [–]rolypoly 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)


              [–]7of99 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

              I used to live in Flagstaff. I got in the best shape of my life running trails there.

              [–]rolypoly 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              Flagstaff is nice :D I love the scenery in the more natural parts of my city. Although waking up early to avoid baking in the sub can be a bit annoying XD

              [–]Oko 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              Spain, apart from the Covid, not a bad place

              [–]coldbrew 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              PNW for me! I love the location, the people I'm sometimes iffy on. Though they are super friendly.

              [–]al-Amira 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              I'm from Palestine, if the Israeli authorities (i.e. police, military or intelligence) finds out about you being a homosexual, they'll pressure you into working for them else they'll out you. If the Palestinian Authorities find out, they'll pressure you into working for them else they'll out you. With working with them I mean, as a spy or informant. Homosexuality was decriminalised back in the 50s I believe, but there is still a social stigma about being homosexual and you'll most likely face being ostracised by your community.

              Thankfully I grew up in Sweden and on an everyday and legal rights basis I think the situation for homosexuals is fine, legally you're not allowed to discriminate based on sexuality for instance (amongst other things) and it is generally accepted amongst the wider population. There are no real female only places, and the few that does exist sees transwomen as women. The focus from homosexuality and bisexuality to trans in the LGBT communtiy started years ago really and that I lament. So... from a legal stand point it's fine, from a cultural standpoint I wish things would improve for lesbians (but I guess also for gays - I can't speak for them) quite a lot, like lesbian only or at least female (not inclusive to transwomen) only spaces and the like. There's a discrepancy on views on homosexuality depending on where you are in Sweden - and I don't really mean rural contra urban environments, but rather what suburban area you're from or you're in, being openly homosexual in some suburban areas will (most likely) lead to harassment from someone - meaning the discussion about homosexual ethnic minorities and their every day life really needs to be raised.

              Currently living in the Netherlands and... while I did visit clubs and bars before, that was literally years and years ago and since I don't really know anyone here (well, other than co-workers and a girl whom I have a crush on that only recognises my existence when she wants some validation) and with the situation of Covid-19 I don't really know what the situation is like from a cultural perspective anymore, and I guess that the legal and civil rights for lesbians is as it is in most of western Europe.

              [–]SteppenSlut 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

              Georgia, USA!

              [–]killerjen231 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

              Sacramento, CA. Give me shit, I deserve it lol

              [–]TheLesbean 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              Howdy Neighbor!

              [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              I live in a small Texas town. For the most part, people seem to tolerate gays and lesbians, even if they don't want them to get married. I still can't be out right now because my dad won't take it well.

              [–]sallyseton 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              Canada, eh

              [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              The toilet of the US

              [–]TheLesbean 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

              West Coast!