Things that make you feel better when depressed

submitted by carrotcake from self.Lesbians

I'm not trying to replace a therapist and medications in any way shape or form. I'm very grateful that these things exist and are able to benefit me. Disclaimers aside, it would make me feel better to know what makes you guys feel good when you're down. And maybe some of those things may help me too if I try them.

Well, for me the only thing that always helps is writing but sometimes it's hard to start and sometimes it takes days to help. My cats help a lot too. For some reason New Girl helped me through rock bottom times twice but I think it's lost its magic. I'm not a big fan of rewatching things over and over.

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[–]disheveledtomboy 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

For me it is usually working out. Especially on the sessions where I go in with the most feet dragging. I may not feel good mentally going in. I may half ass the workout, but I've never come out of it not feeling better. I've done meds and talk therapy for my depression at various times, none were quite as effective as actual movement for me. The other thing I've been doing since covid hit was more yoga. I still can't meditate worth shit, but yoga also helps. There's a corpse pose where you just lay flat on the ground that I've been doing when I feel really down, and there is something comforting to feel the floor just have your back while you take deep breaths and get some space between you, your thoughts and the toxic soup you're marinating in.

[–]carrotcake[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Working out is great! I liked going to the gym but covid took that away from me lol I might try yoga :)

[–]disheveledtomboy 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I also thirded (?) Yoga with Adrienne. :) She does variations of moves for beginners if you're new to it and kinda stiff/rickety at times like me (lol.) I have a very humble home gym that I've built up over last year with some dumbbells, squat/bench stand and plates, but in lieu of that bodyweight fitness i.e. pushups, chair dips, pike presses, pistol squats etc are just as viable.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Yoga with Adrienne, 30 days of yoga. On YouTube. She’s wonderful omg

[–]carrotcake[S] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yay! Thank you so much! Subscribed to her channel already and will try it tomorrow.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

She’s sooo good!

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I love that she says yoga is not about making a pose, it’s about having an experience with your own body and your own abilities, because not everyone can do all the poses. She doesn’t make it too hippy or too serious, and she’s funny. Her approach is very welcoming and forgiving and we need more of that to go around.

[–]Innisfree 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

It used to be reading really sad books. A while ago I started one called "A Man Asleep" by Georges Perec. The dude in it is slipping into a deep depression. I started by agreeing with the feelings described and by the middle I was going "Shoot man, I can't follow we're you're going" and somehow felt better after leaving it. Other times I go back to favorite poems like "The Lake Isle of Innisfree" or "Ode to a Nightingale". Lately I found great comfort in the writings of Hannah Arendt - like drinking from a cold spring on a hot summers day. One of my favorite directors - Chantal Akerman, who despite suffering from serious bouts of depression, was entirely self-taught and achieved quite a lot, said that when she watched a certain director's films she felt it gave her permission to do whatever she liked.

I hope you find those people, moments that inspire you to feel and do whatever you like. In the words of Mary Oliver "let the soft animal of your body love what it loves".

[–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I am listening to sad music, it makes me melancholic, instead of being sad.

[–]carrotcake[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

When I was younger reading sad books also made me feel better for some reason but then they started making me feel worst. I might try it again, sometimes these things can come and go. Thanks for the recommendations! It's funny that Hannah Arendt makes you feel better! I love seeing how different people are. I like her books too, but definetly she doesn't make me feel good.

I didn't mention it but definetly reading is one of the things that make me feel good. Anna Karenina was one of those books that helped me through rough times. I had borrowed heavy edition at the time and just the feeling of it laying on my chest relieved my anxiety.

[–]Innisfree 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It is indeed so interesting to see how people relate to books. I just couldn't pass by the Anna Karenina comment because it was one of the first Russian books I read and it left a huge impact! Tolstoy is so engrossing and I absolutely agree that the size of the books, both Karenina and War and Peace has sth to do with relieving anxiety - I used to lay the tomes on me when lying down reading as well :)

Now I feel I cheated a bit with the Hannah Arendt comment because I stay away for now from her more political writings and currently bit off more than I can chew with her The Life of The Mind. I enjoy her sense of humour and particularly when she stops mid idea to have a go at one bloke or another for incorrectly interpreting a philosopher. She sets them straight left right and center! :) Otherwise agree, she can bring one down more than up.

[–]carrotcake[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh yes! War and peace was another one that I did this!

As for Hannah Arendt, I've never read this one. Will look it up, sounds nice.

[–]Mobymaybe 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Running. Making mysef physically exhausted to match up with my mind helps. I think by balancing the two I can think clearer and get through feelings of depression.

[–]CJLez 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Getting outside and walking helps a lot. I put on a funny podcast or a good album and just wander about aimlessly for an hour or so, remembering that, as huge and overwhelming as the issues inside my head feel, there is a whole world out there that I can, at least sort of, escape to for a while

The most important thing for me is eating healthy - lots and lots of veg, enough protein, some nice herbs and spices to keep things interesting. I adore cooking but I find that if my depression flares up then my energy is one of the first things to go. I won't feel well enough to cook and end up living on maltesers and doritos which don't give me enough nutrients or energy so I feel even less well and even less likely to cook. On the other hand, if I can manage to force myself to cook and eat properly then I stop feeling so physically drained and can keep that good cycle going and get enough energy to do other things.

[–]disheveledtomboy 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The most important thing for me is eating healthy

I can relate to all of what you wrote here really well. Cooking for yourself is one of hardest forms of self care when the bottom drops out of your mental tank. I know all too well that vicious cycle of feeling like crap -> eating like crap -> back to feeling like crap -> repeat to oblivion. My strategy for that has been to keep two weeks of rotating prepped entrees in the freezer and some chili or stew staples in the pantry so that if I do hit that wall mentally I have something on hand or just open and dump a few containers into a slow cooker /instant pot. It took me years to come to terms with cooking (yay kitchen anxiety). Taking the time to make something healthy and good for yourself is a way of telling yourself that you matter and are worthy of care and attention regardless of how you're feeling.

[–]carrotcake[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh I feel you on the energy thing. My energy level is one good sign that I'm not doing great.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

There are moments where I embrace the feeling, have a good cry and then start to pick up. If not, I fake it til I make it, with a little extra kindness to myself.

I write lists of things to do because sometimes when I’m sad, even the most mundane things seem to be difficult. So I write them down on my planner and or put them on my phone. This gives a sense of accomplishment and of purpose. Once I don’t need to write mundane things down, I look into hobbies I would like to try or would like to continue. For me, one of my favorite is cooking so I will find a recipe that will challenge me a little and will get to it. Since yours is writing, perhaps writing a certain story or poem?

As for shows? I watch Parks and Rec, Brooklyn99, or Good News (cancelled and short but funny).

I hope you feel better soon!

[–]carrotcake[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm into lists too! Sometimes I'll literally write take a bath and two other things and to do them is great. A story can be a good one! I've been working on that and just forgot about it this month so maybe I could go back to it. And thank you!

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]carrotcake[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Hey it's not lame at all! Cleaning the house helps me sometimes too. And the notes thing is adorable :)

    [–]TarshishJupiter 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    It sounds lame, but I have a folder next to my bed which is filled with handouts from my DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) group therapy sessions. DBT was the most helpful thing I ever did for myself regarding depression. DBT teaches concrete skills to use as good coping mechanisms.

    Sometimes, on bad days, it's too hard for me to even dig through the folder. For that situation, I wrote up a list - skills to use in specific situations, situations like "I can't get going" or "I feel like a total failure".

    My favorite skills for use with depression:

    • Recognize that the thoughts "I am a failure", "there is no hope", or "I'll never get better" are just thoughts. While they are valid feelings, they may not be true statements.

    • Having this feeling is ok. Don't fight it, but don't accept it as true either. Simply ride the wave of your emotion as if watching it flow through your sea of thoughts.

    • Meditate (if that's something that helps). If meditation is not your thing, throw yourself into an engrossing task or physical activity, and put aside that time to one-mindedly think about that task.

    • In your mind or on paper, ask yourself how you're feeling. Describe your emotions and thoughts without judging them.

    • Check the facts of your situation to determine which thoughts are true ("I feel hopeless" is almost always true, but "I AM a hopeless person" is an overgeneralization), which ones are false, and which ones are unverifiable.

    • Look at a negative thought patterns list (like this) and notice which distortions you are using.

    • Notice if you're having an urge to do something. What is the action your feelings are motivating you toward (Is it it something ineffective, like avoidance or comfort-eating, or is it something effective, like asking a friend for support or getting out of the house?) If it's effective, do it! If it's ineffective, make yourself do the opposite thing (such as approach, don't avoid), and practice doing that every time you have an ineffective urge, until your brain learns to naturally wants to do that instead.

    • Having noticed your ineffective thoughts and actions, make an effort to accept yourself as you are, even while you strive to get better.

    • A lot of depression is built on shame. Build confidence in yourself by doing something you're good at, or making something you can be proud of. If you feel like you have no skills, build a new one.

    • Treat yourself to something positive. Make a list of things you enjoy, and do them in moderation (don't let them carry you away). Personally, I like to play music, play a mind-exercising video game, or cuddle my cat.

    • Last but not least, do good to feel good. Find something you can do that makes you feel like you've made a positive impact on the world. Turning your thoughts outward toward others can relieve some of the distress you feel.

    And if none of the above are helpful, I phone a friend and we laugh together, or I talk to my psychiatrist about my medications.

    [–]carrotcake[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Aw it isn't lame at all. Last year I was dying to get into DBT groups but turns out that we don't really have them in my area. So without better options I downloaded two Marsha's Linehan books on DBT. I read parts of one and the other one from start to finish. I know she doesn't recommend doing this without a DBT therapist but I didn't really have a choice and it helped me A LOT. Those are great skills :)

    [–]Ricky_Ticky 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

    I listen to a very sad and dramatic orchestral music. Emotionally it takes me to another world that is very mysterious but also very tragic. And then I feel less depressed or not depressed at all, just sad maybe. Hope you find your way of dealing with depression!

    [–]Lavender9002 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    Do you have any recommendations/favourites?

    [–]Ricky_Ticky 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

    Sure! When the despression hits hard, Gustav Mahler's 6th and 3rd symphonies are my go to pieces. Actually anything from Mahler performed by the orchestra can help drag me out of darkness.

    By the bearable symptoms of depression I turn to Stravinsky Rite of Spring or basically any symphonies composed by Rachmaninoff, Brahms or Debussy.

    Interestingly enough, when I am not depressed, I rarely listen to this kind of music. It feels too heavy and complex

    [–]Innisfree 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Thank you for the recommendations. I was looking for an an entry point into Mahler, having previously stuck to Rachmaninov on dark days. Some habits can be limiting so glad to hear of a pointer from someone.

    [–]TarshishJupiter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Yesssss! I love Rite of Spring! (and the other composers you mentioned)

    [–]carrotcake[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I love this! I love dramatic orchestral music but I have never thought of hearing it while depressed. I can totally see it working for me too. Rite of Spring is awesome.

    [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I go riding. Not a nice mellow trail ride, a hard endurance race style ride.

    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Ice cream but be careful. Masturbation. I’m serious. Long walks, especially at pretty times like sunrise or sunset. Baths. Getting new soft blankets. Remembering all things are temporary and the work is to feel the feelings without getting super attached to them

    [–]MyLongestJourney 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Counting my blessings.Yes,my life is not perfect but compared to most of the world,especially other women,I have it pretty good. Also comparing the present state of the world with it's previous ones.I believe world is generally a better place than in the past. Things are not perfect but I do deem them better.

    [–]les4les 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I like to write too :) it's only helpful when I know other people will read, though, so lately it's been harder to write fanfiction or original stories when I'm doubtful it'll get any comments or attention. My comfort show lately has been Frasier but I think it's good to have more than one, I'm also not a big fan of rewatching shows.

    I also like to draw