How lesbian-friendly is where you live?

submitted by xv_xx from self.Lesbians

This came up recently in conversation with some friends. We (my gf and I) live in Belgium, but are contemplating a move at some point. Two main things keeping us here (besides the pandemic) is that we just invested a bit in remodeling our apartment to make it more our home, and the other being that we don't really know where we could move that would be good for both of our careers. We have discussed somewhere in the UK (London mainly, but maybe Bristol or Edinburgh), although we would definitely have to wait a bit to see how Brexit is playing out. We have discussed Spain and France, or perhaps Canada. We also have this idea of moving somewhere for a year or two and then maybe coming back to Belgium. In any case, whatever we decide, we both want to prioritise it being a place where it is not just safe for lesbians (that goes without saying) but also lesbian-friendly, i.e., a good-sized lesbian population, opportunities to socialize with other lesbian couples, as well as the usual amenities like good entertainment an and cultural venues, etc.

Which is a very roundabout way of saying: where do y'all live and how lesbian-friendly is it?

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[–]WildwoodFlower 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I live in a suburb near a mid-size US city. It's a place where you can hang a rainbow flag, patronize LGBT-owned businesses, participate in LGBT community organizations/events (including Pride Day), send your kids to school, get married in a friendly church, and more or less live your life. But if you are a single lesbian or bisexual woman and are looking for places where you can meet other single women, there isn't much out there.

[–]Ricky_Ticky 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (20 children)

I live in Germany and it is a very tolerant country. All big cities in Germany are lesbian-friendly. Same goes for smaller cities and most of the rural areas but the problem is you might be the only lesbian couple there.

However, you would be surprised but lesbian scene here is practically non-existent. Back in the days I used to live in Madrid and Barcelona and I loved it! I found it easier to meet lesbians there because people are a lot more outgoing and lesbian life seemed way more dynamic to me.

PS. I just read the comments and It's funny that my opinion about Spain is exactly the opposite from LesChameleon :)

[–]Elvira95 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (18 children)

Really, I thought place like Berlin or Cologne had great lesbian scene? Anyway, I wish I could live in Spain. Women there are my ideal, especially the accent. But bad economy.

[–]Ricky_Ticky 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (17 children)

Well.. if max. 2 parties in 3 months in pre-covid times can be considered a great lesbian scene, then yes 😀 Lesbian bars don't exist here either

[–]Elvira95 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (16 children)

Yeah, well, at least there are lots lesbians right? And not queer ideology?Is that true what they say about german being direct? How is that? Too cold? Too rude? Maybe I like blunt introverted behaviour, I'm more like that.

[–]Ricky_Ticky 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

Oh yes, there are many lesbian women here, so that is deffinitely a plus. As for queer ideology, it does exist here too but it's not as crazy and hostile towards lesbians as it is in the US & Canada. Nobody is going to call you TERF or transphobic for not willing to date trans women.

I would say Germans might appear cold and distant on the surface but most of them are actually warm, tolerant and helpful once you get to know them. There are many introverts here but also many loud and energetic extroverts. Besides, all big cities are full of expats, so overall the environment here is very multicultural, including gay community

[–]Elvira95 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (14 children)

Yeah, I definitely believe that queer ideology in USA is way worst than europe and also I would say less stereotypes about lesbians too. In general. I feel USA is way more extremist on this front.

[–]Ricky_Ticky 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

USA went nuts when it comes to queer ideology. Sometimes the stories about TQ that I read here seem so ridiculous that I find it hard to believe these are true stories, but they are true. Luckily this absurd isn't happening in europe, at least not yet

[–]Elvira95 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Yeah, that's pretty true. There is a real destruction of homosexuality in USA, especially female one, with all the gender ideology. Here in Europe clearly isn't like that, which I think also make finding someone easier. How can you find someone if everyone is queer, genderless and trans? lol Yeah, I was thinking about possibility of moving to the USA, but no, Iwould rather die than living in that mess. y mental health is way too bad to handle a country with shitty healthcare, guns and nut people and with fat epidemic lol

[–]Ricky_Ticky 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

What mentality feels closer to you European or American?

[–]Elvira95 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

European.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have only visited Spain and Portugal. I was only in both countries for a short time (under a month) and I agree with you. It was very easy to find lesbians.

[–]LesChameleon 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh hi there! I just moved to Belgium and it seems quite lesbian-friendly...don't you agree? Of course, I haven't been here for long but I already think it's much easier to meet lesbians than it was for me in Spain or Portugal where I stayed before.

[–]Lesbianese 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Midwest USA (I'd get more specific but Internet safety), not great for lesbians here. My area is really religious and conservative so I almost never see any lesbians. In the city closest to me it doesn't get much better, all of the lesbian events and bars have turned into LGBT+++++++ in the last few years. It really wasn't that long ago that I saw local lesbian events, I was too young to attend them, so it really sucks now that I'm of age there's nothing for me.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

DC, VERY lesbian friendly and has one of the best lesbian bars in the country

[–]yousaythosethings 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

What bar? I need to stop by next time I’m in D.C. And is it true there tends to be a high femme lesbian concentration in D.C. in particular?

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

yes true, league of her own

[–]yousaythosethings 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

DC, I’m coming!

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I live in a major city in the U.S. that's located in the South. It is relatively okay when it comes to LGBT acceptance (for a place in a red state I guess), but there are no places for lesbians to meet. We have some "gay bars" but even those are mostly filled with straight women looking to get away from creepy straight dudes.

I've been to multiple countries and I was really impressed and still interested in maybe moving to Taiwan (Taipei). Of course I only visited, but I saw a lot of lesbian couples around and they have some lesbian bars. It was very easy to meet other lesbians on Tinder since my language skills aren't the best to just strike up convos. Lesbian Tinder isn't filled with weird couples or married bi women wanting to have fun with another women. There are some straight women wanting language exchange, but the majority are actual lesbians. Taiwanese that I know say things there of course aren't perfect, but it seems more open than where I live. 🤷‍♀️

I would also love to live in Spain, but it would be much easier for me to find a job in Taiwan than Spain.

[–]teraspino 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

US, in the South. I don't think so. Us folks of the younger generations are more LGBT-friendly, but it's of course trans-centric. I've never met another lesbian that I know of. I wouldn't feel safe holding a girl's hand in public, honestly.