I was out looking for tacos on the night of Cinco de Mayo. Streets were teeming with drunk women. I've got my phone out. And one of the drunk women kicks it out of my hands. Just to be cute. I think she didn't expect the kick to connect, but she did mean to kick towards me. She apologizes, but she has this bright smile on her face, as if to say "Teehee I kicked your phone aren't I bad?" And instead of reacting like "What the fuck is wrong with you" I stumbled over myself to assure her no harm was done, as if I welcomed the abuse.

Because deep down, I did. That scratched an itch of mine. A bratty bitch to fuck with me and bully my penis. I apologize when hot ladies abuse me.