Here's the script for the funniest skit show ever:
After informing Derek about his sore stomach, George Floyd then tells him about how annoying possums can be!
The Furrie and Pup Play supporting vegans convince the whole of New Zealand to become vegan with an updated slogan: "Animals are friends with benefits not food"!
A super hero named Sterile Man arrives in town and heads straight to the supermarket to start pointing his finger and shaming any granny killer who dare still walk down the confectionery aisle!
Homosexuals still too afraid to leave their homes due to Israel Folau's social media post!
Jewish prisoner sits in Nazi death camp pondering who's worse; Hitler, or the people who say it's wrong to brainwash children into sexual servitude of the crossdressers!
Miley Cyrus one ups Cardi B to once again become The Queen of Female Empowerment by performing a live show from inside the hole in an outhouse!
Principal pats herself on the back for the success of her Islam Positivity program after asking a kindergartener from a non-Islamic family "Who's this other little girl in your drawing holding daddy's hand?" and heating her reply "That's daddy's second wife I dream he has, because after learning about all the people who say Muhammad is a hero I want daddy to be just like him"!
Intersectionality realises that it forgot to include gingers in the movement so the pride/BLM flag gets updated with little polka dots to represent their freckles and Ronald McDonald is deemed their spokesman!
Parents discover that their 5 year old boy has somehow made his way onto the roof of their 3 story home and is yelling out that unless they buy him the frilly pink panties that he needs to be his real self he's gonna jump!
Rapist gives his thoughts to an interviewer about how he feels after watching Slutwalk storm through the street: "Not bad, not bad at all. My only complaint is those few tiny pieces of clothing they kept on. Hopefully next year they'll be back even sluttier. But for now I've got to find something to do with this raging boner they've given me"!
Independent reporter who published an article highlighting the fact that the identical twin studies prove the Gay Gene theory false watches all the heads of the Antifa mob who awoke him with their "Anti-gay! Anti-gay! Anti-gay!" chant physically explode after asking them what they have to say about the Islamic nations which throw homosexuals off roofs!
After being lectured about how we consume too much garbage and that we have to cut back to only the bare essentials for the sake of the plannet, a questioner asks "Are there any tv shows which you consider essential?" and is given the response "Obviously the Tim and Eric Show"!
Bogan can no longer sleep due to being haunted by Eminem's lyrics attacking faggots, that he's been blasting out of his car for the past 2 decades, after voting for a politician who's calling for prison time for those who refuse to be a part of the crossdressers fetish, who bought him with the promise of more dole money!
Therapist starts giving his sexually abused clients the same healing advice which is given by the BDSM proponents: "I'll tie you up, unzip my fly, and knock you around while you recall your tramua and work through it"!
Psychic realises he can hear the voice of a passer by's immune system asking him "If this pathetic prick won't even fight back against pedophiles taking over the whole world why should I do anything at all?"!
Harvey Weinstein travels back in time before the accusations to identify as an Islamic woman!
Black rioter stops mid way through lobbing a brick through a shop's window to question if maybe acting like a criminal doesn't help eradicate the white supremacist prejudice that blacks are criminals, then decides to do it anyway for the Nikes!
Arts department replaces all their professors with tape recorders that repeat "Any notion of beauty is a system of oppression" all day long!
The excitement on Steve Smith's face when he hears that any male capable of uttering "I'm trans" can now freely stroll straight into Boob Central!
Woke woman cheers and cheers as they give her a tax cut to make up for the gender pay gap, then races towards her front door for a shopping spree, only to have acid thrown straight in her face the moment she opens it by one of the Islamic terrorists they/she let in!
Martin Luther King speaks to us about his dream of living in a world free from kink shamers who say things like "Yo plantation pornography ain't cool man"!
The year is 2030, and everybody except the elites mysteriously grows a beak, and after much talk about how it happened some begin to unravel the mystery as they start to wonder if maybe the pharmaceutical giants, who think it's cool to watch boys grow breasts, and who've had the power to force needles into us every 6 months, are behind it!
Cop pulls his gun on a 12 year old girl who thought she could still get away with calling something retarded after new laws pass that replace all of the patriarchy's fascist old free speech laws with big tech's hate speech policies!
The Not Fake News Network sets the record straight regarding Bruce Jenner's Woman of The Year title: "I'm not sure Caitlyn deserved that title. Is she brave? Yes. Is she stunning? She certainly is. But was she really Woman of The Year?... She surely would have been a top 10 contender, but I don't think she quiet earnt that number 1 spot, and I'm not afraid to say it"!
Lord Jacob Rothschild forces all the lunatics who claim that the banking system doesn't grow anything other than the proportion of the wealth that they hold to slump away defeated by demonstrating that as they make new money out of thin air the crops magically grow more produce!
The show comes to a close with:
Man who changed his name to Mr. True Patriot no longer keeps us waiting as he finally puts down his beer, closes his pornhub tab, puts on his armoured vest, picks up his trusty shotgun, and liberates the world!
This is the shows theme song!
I haven't finalized the intro yet, but it will include Mr. Trololo waving his finger in disappoint, the super moonwalk, and other classic internet phenomena!
- There most certainly will be black face involved!