I start to turn feral after a week

Node · 2021-09-02T02:58:40+00:00

[deleted]

Node · 2021-09-02T09:03:18+00:00

How can you stand such stifling oppression? I could go months between seeing other people in real life, but realistically a week or two is average. "Yes, thanks, I would like a bag." The emptiness is not crushing, it's freedom.

When another person is around, you almost have to divert some of your attention to them. Your life is no longer your own.

Sleeping is pretty easy. Pretty much just close your eyes late at night and it will happen. Same with food. Acquire it, prep and cook it, then put it on a plate and eat it. Tons of recipes on the internet, and any condiments you can imagine.

Just got a couple new kinds of toasted sesame oil, and braised some chopped collard greens in it tonight, with a dash of soy sauce. Not the worst thing I've ever eaten.

I'll just say, all that human contact seems to have put you in a rather fragile psychological state.

Enza · 2021-09-02T06:54:32+00:00

💜

JasonCarswell · 2021-09-02T16:22:41+00:00

You need a few projects. Figuring out what those are may be your first project.

BelgIsTheWord · 2021-09-02T05:39:29+00:00

I like being alone to avoid people like you. Does that help?

jarcalon · 2021-09-02T10:51:26+00:00

I wish I could literally be alone forever.

jet199 · 2021-09-02T19:25:26+00:00

It's just because you're an extrovert.

Most people on Saidit are introverts so they will think you are crazy.

Extroverts get more energy from being around people so being alone will drain you.

I have the same thing with my sister, except she can only manage around half an hour alone without going mad.

The simple fix is to get some friends you can hang with when she's not around. You just need company not cuddles.

Online friendships don't count.

The thing is you need to maintain those friendships even when she is around. No one likes those guys who disappear off the face of the earth whenever there's a woman in the picture. You have to make the effort to organise a meet up every month at least.

Maybe see if their are any clubs or groups you are interested in in your area.

I don't think you can charge your basic nature, at least not once you're an adult. I mean I know a lot of extroverts who just have the TV playing all day so they can pretend there are people in the house and they are of all ages.

socks · 2021-09-02T12:13:35+00:00

I think you describe something here that has been a serious problem for people during COVID19 lockdowns. I often have some of these problems with I leave town and have to work alone. The online community is not sufficient for this kind of support, though I know others who use Facebook and other social media to refer to everything they do during the day. That's a self-affirmation exercise that would depress me if I tried it. It's an interesting problem that an over-populated world has more lonely people than ever. In my view, one's connection to a community is the most important civic activity. The "modern" world began in coffee shops in the mid-17th century, some people have appropriately argued, because this developed in the community conversations about our lives and the world. When I am in other cities, working alone, I like to go to places were there are people, visit city centers and shopping areas or malls, arrange meetings, head to sports bars to watch games, visit cigar lounges in places that have them, talk to strangers in pubs, arrange long walks public parks and rural parks, &c. The walks are also important and theraputic. I avoid drinking alcohol as much as possible, because it can cause depression the next day if one is alone. Otherwise, no more than 2 glasses or shots. Eating will help, but I understand and appreciate the lack of appetite. Also vary your activities as much as possible, arranging different tasks. This also helps cognitively in the short and long term (reducing risks of dementia &c). Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep/day, which can be difficult for many who are alone. (Those who tend to get only 5 hours of sleep develop various problems, including the likelihood of dementia.) Join a club or a group in your local area or nearby. Hope this helps.

LarrySwinger2 · 2021-09-02T19:51:47+00:00

What really helps for me is to fall asleep to wonderful music, listen to podcasts throughout the day, and keep busy with things that interest me. It's also good to take some time away from the Internet and dedicate it to reading a book. YMMV on that one, though, because if the absence of your wife crushes you, it seems extreme to also cut yourself off from the Internet. But sometimes it makes it easier when you deliberately seek out solitude.

neomarxist_bullshit · 2021-09-02T17:37:48+00:00

You can get used to it. I couldn't stand working from home in a few months after the pandemic started but here I am, more than a year later, and I'm doing ok.

ElifromtheBook · 2021-09-03T10:49:59+00:00

I think this is actually a question of

[

a)

Psychologically model-able character type ( how you handle loneliness empirically : https://www.16personalities.com/ or even better look up the "hexaco model" and do a test (and lot of reading to grasp this one after you understood the standard model at least generally) ) which only "explains" traits from observation and then applying statistics), so heuristically, so maybe not even apply-able in your case.

OR

b) Your personal "values". These either you can possibly understand because you acquired them after you were three years old because then you can possibly remember the how and why. Or the values that were exemplified to you when you were under the age of three that nonetheless have a (not quite understood) impact on your character and role-behaviour (possibly even brain-chemistry) which you can barely change because you most likely can't remember them.

]

AND

c) Genetics. The brain is pure magic as well as its chemistry and dimensions of interconnect-ability . In my definition of this word this means (after a lot of therapy and reading up on my problems) i still feel like Scrat from Ice Age. I - in phases though - still don't understand why especially i do some "quirky", "geeky" or even "harmful". Reading up and therapy only help so far and with some things below that you just gotta learn to live sometimes, i believe and wanna say here.

I personally don't believe that "quirks" or "traits" that define the general direction of circumstances that mostly put you in distress like you describe are anyway near to be easy to understand. I believe that we as the human race need to acquire a lot more knowledge before even getting near to the point that we at least somewhat can understand our own brains.

Because of this belief e.g. i lately even changed my own philosphy somewhat: It is time to understand for us that our environment isn't made to be conquered by us but we (as a form of existence) should practice waaaaaay more humbleness towards what nature actually did achieve with us.

Last but certainly not least there are engineering arguments: "Nature" had some billion years time to evolve us. Even "needed" catastrophes therefore. But in all our megalomania we still after only some thousand years of written human language, we for most parts still believe we can understand these kind of processes.

This is insane megalomania. But one the other hand only my sole opinion.

Through simplification and then abstraction in a finite and always apply-able (also decidable but this is only a footnote: In LateStageCapitalism it ain't quite fashionable any more to question your own arguments ) set of steps and then exploiting these algorithms to finally extort ourselves till extinction we will most likely eradicate most of what stays alive of us. This (without any sarcasm) is my grasp on latest politics, fyi. Lets say for this century so far, ok ?

I don't think this is even near to possibly because our construction or development is more fail-safe then we even are able to grasp in the next 3000 years.

The only possibly sad fact then could possibly be that there are way less other humans to even talk about this using all these complicated words even.

I encourage you to think about this post. I also encourage you to think about what happens if we loose plurality as a model for society. Because not all reason why we as individuals prosper or get distressed then stressed then either depressed or medicated and then die or get (on a low chance) saved agree here.

I don't think so any-more.

whatever

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