Indoctrination / DoublethinkAnd everybody in /r/tttt clapped

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[–][deleted] 37 insightful - 14 fun37 insightful - 13 fun38 insightful - 14 fun -  (1 child)

There is nothing that quite makes my blood boil like exclusionist lesbians constantly invalidating me and saying that I’m actually straight or bisexual or that my girlfriend is just a cis guy.

Well, you are bisexual and your "girlfriend" is a straight guy so...

[–]hufflepuff-poet 16 insightful - 6 fun16 insightful - 5 fun17 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Nothing boils their blood more than having to face reality!

[–][deleted] 32 insightful - 16 fun32 insightful - 15 fun33 insightful - 16 fun -  (20 children)

Chunkee, holy shit did you find a goldmine. I can't help but comment again.

I'm a non-binary ace lesbian who also dated a guy once before I knew I was gay, and if it wasn't for TERFs, gold stars and exclusionists, I would have probably come to terms with my identity a lot sooner.

So ... a person who doesn't identify as male or female, and a person who experiences no sexual attraction or desire, and is also somehow a lesbian.

And it's lesbians and TERFs fault this is unclear.

Wut?

[–]howdidthishappen 25 insightful - 4 fun25 insightful - 3 fun26 insightful - 4 fun -  (19 children)

Bit off topic, but the amount of times I’ve seen “gold stars” mentioned as these evil, exclusionary villains, is a hundred times higher than I’ve seen it talked about or even mentioned in any way in lesbian spaces over the 10+ years I’ve been out the closet.

Never met a lesbian who gives a serious shit about it and I don’t think I’ve ever met an actual “gold star” lesbian and I don’t think I’d count as one either.

Where are they pulling all these “gold stars” from lol?

[–]fuck_reddit 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Same for “gold star gays”. Im one myself and it’s more of a joke for me. I also clearly dont put any weight on it cause my bf had two pregnancy scares before he came to terms with his sexuality.

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

I do believe that we should tell young gays and lesbians that you don't need to have sex with the opposite sex to know you're a homosexual, and be positive towards goldstars, but majority of the time, it's only taken seriously online. I've seen people say silverstar lesbians aren't real lesbians, but that's on tumblr and other places.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (10 children)

Whats a silverstar lesbian?

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (7 children)

A silverstar lesbian is a lesbian that had sex with a man once, and never again. Depending on one's opinion, sex could be anything sexual with the opposite sex, or just PIV and PIA sex.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (6 children)

Emm, then I would be a silver lesbian by this definition, but I never counted it because my experience was too young (like before puberty young) and kinda pretend I never touched a dick, even though technically I did have sexual relationships. In traditional heterosexual culture, complete sex and virginity is only penis in vagina., not oral nor anal. I still don't get why in USA culture anal seem to get higher point than oral as sex. The anus isn't more sex organ than a mouth is, and surely anal doesn't make more sex than oral.

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I feel like it would be fair to say one has lost their virginity with anal and vaginal sex imo, because it does involve penetration, regardless if you're gay, lesbian, straight, or bi.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Technically a blowjob is penetrating too. Also, the fact that must to be penetrative to count is phallocentric bs. And the idea of losing virginity is also bs, there is nothing to lose.Virginity is made up thing like Santa. If anal counts, so does oral. They both sex. The whole idea sex is only valid when penetrating is one of the most phallocentric sexist shit, which constantly put women on women sexual relationships on a lower/less important role than the one involving male.

[–]soundsituationI myself was once a gay 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I honestly agree. Maybe my sexuality biases me--it probably does--but I think physical intimacy should be conceptualized differently: "being sexual" instead of "having sex".

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Well woman on woman sexual relationships can include vaginal and anal sex, but with toys and mouths, but I do agree that anal, vaginal, and oral is sex, otherwise it wouldn't be called sex idk.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I might be wrong, but I think I'm right about this, a gold star lesbian or gay man has never had sex with the opposite sex. It's a self-deprecating joke that references the gold star stickers little children are given at school when they do well.

A silver star would presumably be a lesbian who's had sex with a man once. I don't think it's slang so much as a play on words.

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah it's mainly a joke like "You've never had sex with a man? Here's a gold star for you!"

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Bit off topic, but the amount of times I’ve seen “gold stars” mentioned as these evil, exclusionary villains, is a hundred times higher than I’ve seen it talked about or even mentioned in any way in lesbian spaces over the 10+ years I’ve been out the closet.

They're just salty that they can just identify their way into being gold star.

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Usually TQ+ is angry that there's lesbians that never had sex with a man, and think that it's biphobic and transphobic, even though it has nothing to do with trans or bisexuals.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Same. I think the “gold star” topic came up once in the wild for me and it was by a much older women who had just come out as bisexual and wanted to date woman. She said her friend (who sounds suspiciously like an amalgamation of standard comments at r/LBL) said that lesbians won’t date you unless you’re a gold star. I was out with two lesbians, both of whom had been out for nearly a decade and at least one of whom I know not to be a gold star. I’m not a gold star either. Literally no one has ever cared about my history or even asked if I’m a gold star. This seems more like an Internet myth cultivated by the inexperienced and passed on by the inexperienced and it does get cited against lesbians in a very aggressive way. Maybe once or twice online I saw a lesbian seriously state that they only wanted gold star lesbians and one of them was dating a bisexual woman with kids from her previous relationship with a man, so uh, yea.

As a side note, this first lady was a friend of a colleague (really my superior). I was roped into this under the guise of us being welcoming to her but it seemed like I was unknowingly against my will backdoored into a date with my boss’s friend by his wife. Fun times turning down those advances while trying to avoid awkwardness at work.

And for the record, I was closer in age to her kids than to her. 🤣 She looked very good for her age, but she also looked and acted 100% like a Real Housewife. Not exactly my type.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 2 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

"she also looked and acted 100% like a Real Housewife."

Do you mean elegant, feminine and horny? Hot

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Overall, I seem to be attracted to masculine appearing women with an interesting mix of feminine and masculine qualities or feminine appearing women with an interesting mix of feminine and masculine qualities. I personally fall into the latter camp. I guess I like women who surprise me. And it’s all about having some obvious combo of both. Not a blend. Not neither. She was just feminine but demanding and high maintenance.

She has multiple instagram accounts including one for fashion. She is conventionally pretty, feminine in appearance, and wealthy, has expensive taste, and yes did make some thirsty comments to me. And it’s because of this whole fiasco that I ended up committing to the relationship I’m currently in . . . .

This woman was assertive, but not in the ways I’m attracted to. She was loud and demanding to waitstaff. I am an introvert so I tend to do better with extroverts who are chill in many ways. She had no chill and was very exhausting to be around. Also, I didn’t like her voice.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 2 insightful - 4 fun2 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Ah, I get this. Totally annoying type of woman, As an introverted, don't you do better with others introverts? I like I feel more connection to someone of the same wave lenght? What would you describe as feminine and masculine qualities? I don't like masculinity, in a look sense and especially behaviour sense.Not that is impossible for me to be attracted to masculine women, after all they're women. But its far less likely because I like femininity. Also to me femininity is huge part about mannerism/personality. How did you end up with your girlfriend after this wealthy bitch? Lol

PS: Voice is important to me too. I find high type of very feminine voices attractive.

[–]loveSloaneSuperDuperBi 24 insightful - 6 fun24 insightful - 5 fun25 insightful - 6 fun -  (2 children)

I sometimes wonder how many of these “cis lesbians in love with their trans girlfriends” have actually met their totally valid trans girlfriends offline

Also:

“ My lovely, just know that most lesbians support you and I will gladly light any TERF lesbian on fire with a lighter and a can of hairspray for you”

…for viewing things differently than you…

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 13 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Yep. They’re violent. Well, more like internet tough guys. And yeah, they probably never met their "girlfriends" online.

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Reminds me of the headlines some time ago about a man who killed his girlfriend by lighting her on fire in the street. They don't even realise the kind of people they're emulating.

[–]reluctant_commenter 23 insightful - 6 fun23 insightful - 5 fun24 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

"You, a woman, being in a relationship with a man is the most valid and beautiful lesbian relationship ever. Fuck anyone who says otherwise."

What a time to be alive. I feel so alienated from Reddit as a gay (homosexual) woman. LGBT spaces are not for me, that's for sure.

[–][deleted] 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This label that I’ve felt so much comfort and security in is suddenly invalid to them and seemingly a not unsubstantial portion of the lgbt community.

No one said lesbians weren't a part of the community.

We're saying you and your hetero male toy aren't lesbians.

Maybe learn to use words for what they mean instead of what you feel.

[–]ThiccDropkickGay 18 insightful - 4 fun18 insightful - 3 fun19 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

It’s hilarious how worked up they get about being “invalidated”. They act like their entire life hinges on being able to call themselves a particular label

[–]Horror-SwordfishI don't get how flairs work 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But they found so much comfort in being able to call themselves a lesbian!

If I could roll my eyes any harder, they'd fly out of my head. I never found "comfort" in coming to terms with my sexuality and calling myself gay. It just is what it is. How little self-respect and self-esteem do you have that a label makes you feel safe, and that someone daring to say that you don't actually fit what the label describes means your whole world comes crashing down and makes you want to fight people?

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 16 insightful - 7 fun16 insightful - 6 fun17 insightful - 7 fun -  (2 children)

She identifies as a lesbian. That’s what makes her a "lesbian" in her eyes. But you know what? If the existence of "TERFs" (or whatever she calls actual lesbians) makes her blood boil, then she won’t need a boiler or a furnace to heat up her studio apartment in the winter.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 12 insightful - 8 fun12 insightful - 7 fun13 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

We Terfs help you in saving money on bills too. We're the best.

[–]RippoffOfLoveSStraight | Overuses quotation marks 5 insightful - 6 fun5 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I actually don't like the term terf, so I don't identify as one. I didn't realize it was so easy!

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

This label that I’ve felt so much comfort and security in

This, ladies and gentlemen, is how you can tell she isn't a lesbian. The vast majority of lesbians (me included) have struggled or struggle A LOT with the word 'lesbian' and many of us have done everything to call ourselves everything but lesbian. For example, I still avoid that word and prefer telling I'm a gay woman instead. However, currently due to TQ+, I call myself always homosexual.

Every time I see someone SO obsessed with the label 'lesbian' is always not a lesbian and when I see a woman trying to run away from it, more often than not, she IS the real lesbian 😅 Oh, the irony of it.

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I was going to say this exactly lol

Comfort and security. Ah. Yes. So much comfort. So much security.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right! Accepting that I was a lesbian and that it was the word that described my sexual orientation was a hard road I travelled. I'm happy being a lesbian now but not because I love the label, it's because accepting the label meant I stopped running from who I was and who I loved and finally just listened to what my body wanted instead of what society said I had to want. It's so demeaning to how hard it is to be homosexual in a heterosexual world when TQ+ pretend that lesbianism isn't about being a female homosexual.

I'm not a lesbian because I want to be, I'm a lesbian because my only other option is being a closeted lesbian and that was miserable. (Guess I could be a straight trans man too, but that sounds worse than miserable...)

[–]lazy-summer-godSuper Gay 15 insightful - 6 fun15 insightful - 5 fun16 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Wtf, I'm scared. These comments read like NPC programming.

"We support our Great Trans Overlords. They're right about everything. Love, peace and unity."

[–]serf_n_terfStraight Ally - Surf’s up! 🏄‍♀️ 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That thread is a delusional mess. If you’re willingly taking dick, you’re not a lesbian. #invalid

[–]shveya 12 insightful - 3 fun12 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Lol she also posts on r/arethestraightsok, providing further evidence for my theory that the sub is for straight people. I have a hunch that she and her "girlfriend" look something like this

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"My girlfriend has a penis and how that makes me a lesbian." -vice

[–]julesburm1891 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

There’s nothing that quite makes my blood boil like exclusionist lesbians

In the sage words of The Trammps, “Burn baby burn / burn this mother down”

[–]hufflepuff-poet 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

In a world of rapists, pedophiles, murderers, racists and literal neo-Nazis; what boils this woman's blood most of all?

That other women exist who don't want to take dick.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Existence of homosexual women is making her blood boil? So how is that not a homophobia? /r/LGBT is promoting and supporting homophiba (3.8k upvotes), that's why we so in need of LGB-only spaces or organizations - as LGBT+ ones are promoting anti-LGB rhetorics, ideas and actions.