Women's IssuesA queer woman struggles for validation

submitted by ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah from huffpost.com

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[–]lunarstrain 16 insightful - 8 fun16 insightful - 7 fun17 insightful - 8 fun -  (2 children)

This article is absolutely bat shit.

What doing sex work has taught me is that most men have either contacted a sex worker, hired a sex worker, or thought about hiring a sex worker. And there’s no shame in that.

Whether it's immoral or not, it seems sort of weird to have to pay for sex.

I have spent my whole life, even outside of sex work, focused on serving and pleasing men, both in and out of bed, and I’m sick of it.

Maybe it's time for a career change if you hate it that much? You clearly seem to have some resources if you're writing HuffPo.

Hiring a professional, as opposed to finding someone at a bar or from a dating app, is more appealing to me because after years of catering to everyone else’s sexual needs,

Again, quit your fucking job.

I want an (almost) guaranteed fun sexual experience, complete with orgasms, without having to engage in a lot of emotional labor.

Have you heard of masturbation?

Sex with women, for me, feels safer, more intimate, and I just enjoy the mechanics of it much more.

Safer? That's a pretty sad adjective...

seeking out this experience felt like an important step in destigmatizing my queerness within myself.

Ladies, do you remember when we all hired prostitutes to destigmatize our sexualities? Me neither.

From doing research outside my area, I know there are providers who are open to queer women, enby or trans clients, but not only is the distance prohibitive for me, most of them charge A LOT more than the average person could afford. This leads me to believe that these services may not be accessible to most women.

Y'know... This might come as a shock but sex can be free.

And if I’m having this much difficulty finding a provider, I can’t imagine what those who are trans or gender-nonconforming would go through. This is systemic within the sex industry.

Oh no! How are trans people supposed to get their life saving and gender affirming prostitutes?! Who will think of the poor trans!

[–]julesburm1891 11 insightful - 6 fun11 insightful - 5 fun12 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Your response gave me life. 😂

[–]LesbianManiactransphobic lol 0 insightful - 1 fun0 insightful - 0 fun1 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree with most but after you do "sex work" you do not really have many work opportunities. I feel bad for her because most people who go down that rabbit hole mostly were groomed in their teens by monsters who want money.

[–]julesburm1891 12 insightful - 6 fun12 insightful - 5 fun13 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

What doing sex work has taught me is that most men either have contacted a sex worker, hired a sex worker, or thought about hiring a sex worker

I mean, if you are literally a prostitute and all of your business dealings are with men hiring hookers then I see how you think that might be a thing for all men. But, like, you have to back a claim that big up with actual evidence.

I’m tired of my pleasure being irrelevant.

Sleep with less shitty people then? I thought you were a professional at this.

People don’t think women ever want to just have sex, but we do.

Show me these people.

Hiring a professional, as opposed to finding someone at a bar or from a dating app, is more appealing to me because after years of catering to everyone else’s sexual needs I want sex without a lot of preamble.

Just download Tinder or show up to the gay club. It isn’t hard if you aren’t a troll or a boor.

Consistently talking about needing a professional is, frankly, odd. This is sex, not brain surgery or HVAC repair. People have had this one on lock for millennia.

I contacted a few of them and here’s what I heard in return: Sorry I don’t see women unless it’s a threesome; OK, but can you send me some selfies of yourself before I decide; or I will see you but you have to pay more. These are likely not the responses a male client would receive.

No shit. These are straight women who will go gay for pay. They don’t actually want to have sex with you.

Of course, no one should have sex with someone they don’t want to

Unless it hurts your feelings and you have to write an entire HuffPost article about it?

if I’m having this much difficulty finding a provider, I can’t imagine what those who are trans or gender-non-conforming would go through

Okay, it’s weird you keep calling it a provider like you’re a general practitioner or something. Anyways, if they’re chasing after people who aren’t into their sex, they’re probably having the about the same difficulty as you doing the very same thing.

Seeing a sex worker can be immensely healing, especially for groups who have been shunned, put down, or treated poorly by society at large. It can be therapeutic to have someone be with you, touch you, see you

Clearly the solution to all the world’s troubles are to just send a brigade of hookers in to heal the downtrodden. On the real, I can’t think of anything that would make me feel worse about myself than having to pay a woman to touch me.

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

She's batshit crazy.

This just points to another reason why turning sex work into just any other job is stupid. If it's just another job then people can claim discrimination if they are refused sex.

[–]CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

To contextualize my forthcoming comment, this man used to be a sex worker, a trafficking victim nonetheless, himself and endured sexual violence:

If you've been through it yourself, why would you try and force yourself on another sex worker And knowing what you know about sex workers raising their prices for people they cannot consent to, why would you get mad let alone publish your coercive thought piece?

Also, his other articles imply he's HIV+ so no shit someone he's trying to pay for sex is going to try and get that PeP money up front in case the condom breaks (or more realistically, in case he tries to pressure her into unprotected sex/rapes her).

Edit: https://lauralemoon.medium.com/i-am-transgender-and-no-i-dont-hate-my-body-reflections-on-the-direction-of-the-trans-rights-602dab72775

Turns out she's a detransitioner.

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

So this "she" is trans? I thought as much but I couldn't bother to read through to confirm. It's the only way this story makes any sense.

[–]CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

https://lauralemoon.medium.com/i-am-transgender-and-no-i-dont-hate-my-body-reflections-on-the-direction-of-the-trans-rights-602dab72775

My mistake, she's a detransitioner.

[–]julesburm1891 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Wait, where does it say they’re a man?

[–]tu_jode_mucho 7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

That was a lot of words just to say she can barely even pay a woman to sleep with her.

edit: silly me, I really thought this was an actual woman. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

so did I, where does it say she's/he trans?

[–]Femaleisnthateful 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

"I, a woman, am tired of catering to others needs, so I should be able to hire a woman to cater to my needs".

Her comment about 'gender drag' is ironic. It's like she's thisclose to understanding that 'gender' is an oppressive tool.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"I, a woman, am tired of catering to others needs, so I should be able to hire a woman to cater to my needs".

Well... how 'bout we ALL quit "catering to others' needs" (that is, sexually-gratifying people whom we feel zero desire for)?

There, that was easy! :)

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

7 articles on huffpo, and all 7 are about sex work. there's even one about being a fat sex worker.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh yeah, that's a fun one. She seems to think sex work is a social service and she's entitled. That's precious.

[–]Chocolatepudding 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Good old capitalism lol if you want it, pay for it! Fed up of being paid to service others (understandable but learn some boundaries) she has no issue at all with wanting a woman to do this for her. You're part of the problem, love! On both sides too, ironically enough

[–]JulienMayfair 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This reads to me like the writing of an extremely damaged and traumatized person who is attempting to manage and rationalize the surface symptoms because the real issues are too overwhelming to admit.

[–]automoderatorHuman-Exclusionary Radical Overlord[M] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

RIP Snappy, I AM THE NEW GOD!

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