LesbianFeeling so alone in this social climate as a lesbian... I would rather the L be removed from the LGBT than this.

submitted by sickofit from self.LGBDropTheT

You would think it would be so easy to find people like us with all the talk about LGBT people now. But I feel like it did the opposite. For a long time I tried to stick around in places like AL but I can’t do it anymore. I feel so alone that sometimes it physically hurts... it makes me feel sick.

The big one for me are the whole “sexuality is fluid” and “call yourself whatever you want” things. I would bet anything that lesbians were not at the forefront of making things go this way. This thinking is how we got bi lesbians and trans women with beards. But if you say anything about it you’re the bigot, not them.Most of the people calling themselves are not lesbians. They write us in their image and it hurts.

It happens so much that I started playing a game on AL when I was there. If someone says they’re a lesbian, go to their profile. I will bet you that most of the time you will see that they are either trans or actively sleeping with men at the very least. Sometimes the same person will even call themselves bi or lesbian depending on their mood, using them interchangeably. But if you question it, you’re the bad guy. Not the bisexual and trans women who treat our sexuality like a piece of land to conquer. How many sexualities do we have now? But they still want ours and ours only.

Even r/sex is full of women who call themselves lesbians but sleep with or even date and marry men. They fit nearly every bi stereotype yet they are “lesbians” and they make sure every man they meet knows it. They outnumber us so much that I feel more unheard in LGBT spaces than almost anywhere else and they are actually changing the meaning of the word lesbian. Over time I am hearing more and more of these “my friend is a lesbian and she likes to sleep with men” or “I hooked up with a few lesbians before! They have threesomes with me and my gf :) best BJ ever!” stories. Some of them are lying but many are not, because these same kinds of women are in the chats saying “yeah I hooked up with my guy friend yesterday but I am a lesbian! It was so much fun to sleep with him. I know, sexy, right? :)” people are noticing. I’m seeing more and more straight people talk about these fluid lesbians. “Bi lesbian” becoming more popular too... I also heard this is starting towards gay men.

I wish I could press a button and make it stop. I would have no problem with these people if they’d call themselves gynesexual or asexual or demisexual or whatever else it is. But I would rather they remove the L from the acronym and just forget we existed than this.

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[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 26 insightful - 3 fun26 insightful - 2 fun27 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I feel you so much :( It has gotten worse for lesbians, definitely. When I was figuring out my sexuality, at least at the time you could find some good info and support on being a lesbian. Now? None. I don't even search anything so that I won't get depressed lol.

Now I just call myself homosexual. I don't call myself lesbian, because it represents so many different things nowadays, and many with which I don't want at all to be associated with, in particular, the attraction towards men. I have 0 attraction towards men and only feel attraction towards women. Before it would be lesbian and no one would question it, apart from straight ignorant and/or homophobic people. It was common sense. Now? The homophobia is coming from OUR own community. I'm homosexual, attracted to the same sex. Full stop.

[–]sickofit[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's how I feel, the only way I can feel alright is to just not look at any place that has a lot of lgbt people in it or I just get drowned in the homophobia. Sometimes straight people even defend us and lgbt people chime in saying "no you need to learn more about sexuality, lesbians can like men sometimes too, its just a word and people can like whoever they want regardless of what word they use!" its so bad..

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 25 insightful - 4 fun25 insightful - 3 fun26 insightful - 4 fun -  (7 children)

and just forget we existed than this.

That was what LGB were about. "We are like you, just ignore us and let us do our things with each other". And now we have porn industry fetishizing bisexual women and lesbians, and those "transbians" who are pushing their dicks on us. Men can't accept us having fun without dicks.

/r/ActualLesbians

Everything you need to know: https://i.imgur.com/D5v0sH8.png

On banned "for not respecting transwomen" sub /r/TrueLesbians in similar subreddits were AskWomen and Periods, while here in AL literally nothing about women, lol.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 9 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 4 fun -  (5 children)

/r/princessesofpower for fuck's sake... I am not surprised at all

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Because of that reptiloid race?

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I haven't seen it but that supremely special snowflake Jacob Tobia guy does a voice on it. It's one of the cartoons infested with "queer."

[–]hermiona52 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I just have to say it... seeing Catra and Adora as a kid or teen would help me so much with figuring out my sexuality. For that alone I will forever adore this show, even as an adult.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

HOLD UP........ Catra and Adora are... having a thing with each other?

Look what you did, I might end up having to watch this thing now!

I think I'm going to make a post about cartoons with LGB content!

[–]hermiona52 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Having a thing for each other is an understatement haha. The last season (and especially the last episode) are full on Catradora and it's amazing.

You HAVE to watch it, believe me.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 20 insightful - 4 fun20 insightful - 3 fun21 insightful - 4 fun -  (7 children)

Yeah, that's why I said that I understand why so many lesbians hate to bisexual women, the way many self-called bisexuals behave is beyond disgusting and they're full accomplice of the lesbian fetish. Of course, bisexuals here don't have to take it personally, because you're not like that, otherwise you would be on actuallesbian rather than here. And you are, I never felt good in LGBT crowd. The L is first in sign, but in reality is really the last. Even in the past I'm sure it was more about gay men than anything else. And why feminism is really what represents a lesbian, not gay community. And I feel like the whole word has been tainted so much, the only way to make female homosexuality to be taken seriously is to start using homosexual more.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

many self-called bisexuals

Of course, bisexuals here don't have to take it personally, because you're not like that, otherwise you would be on actuallesbian rather than here.

Thanks for saying these two parts. I think sometimes we B's need this reassurance, even here.

Even in the past I'm sure it was more about gay men than anything else.

That's how it felt to me in the 80's and 90's. Whenever I sneaked around trying to find L/B content, books, movies, whatever, I'd end up with stuff about white gay men, and I'd be like... Well, this is better than nothing I guess, and I'd read it, and in my head I'd make the two characters female. The forbidden romance aspect of it still worked... Kind of...

But I don't resent it at all, the young kids don't want to understand this but the upper middle class white gay men, (and right with them the small amount of lesbians) walked so that the rest of us could run. I know it's trendy to shit on whites nowadays but this is the reality.

Edit - wow okay I went on a tangent there that had nothing to do with what you were saying. Oops!

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, well, I didn't want my comment to be seen as some attack on all bisexual women.

I don't resent anyone, but really, anything about males doesn't represent me or how I feel. That's why I think feminism, not gay movement, really make me feels a connection, because that's really female-centric, and about the problem of a woman in a male-centric/phallocentric sexist society. Because, in the end, there is nothing more female-centric than being a female whose sexual and romantic need are all toward females.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I love the bisexuals here! <3 Just showing some love for giving good bi visibility :)

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 8 insightful - 9 fun8 insightful - 8 fun9 insightful - 9 fun -  (2 children)

All this sweetness is giving me fucking diabetes

Just kidding LMAO

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

Too much sweetness after DM's? :D

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 9 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

The one with you can't never be enough ;)

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

<3 <3 <3

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 17 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 3 fun -  (8 children)

I see a future where this could happen, the L and the G go their own separate ways from each other and the B just stands there looking around like an idiot... "Guys...? Where did you go? Did you really leave me? I thought we were friends??" And then some of the B's follow the L's and G's in stealth, the way they used to decades ago (because let's be real, there were plenty of B's back then, they were just lying and calling themselves L, G, or Straight - and I'll say it like this, they were both lying to everyone else and also to themselves, in many cases) or they will go blend in with the Straights and call themselves "heteroflexible." And the TQ+ will totally take over the spaces we leave behind.

I mean, I'm not really against this possible direction for history, except I kind of liked having (a really shitty, almost non-existent) bi-community (that mainly exists online for some reason.) And it's going to suck for L's and G's if B's to go undercover and start lying again, because the entire point of going your own way is to surround yourself with a pure L or G community without any of the "Yeah but I'm special so I can join too!" entitlement of non-L/G people. And of course it's going to suck for B's as well. We literally don't have a bi history or bi culture because of this behavior. What "Bi-culture" we have was probably written by straight male Hollywood writers for shitty made for cable TV "skin flick" movies of the 80's and 90's. (That's why male bi's don't exist, durr-hurr. Because they make straight male pee-pees soft.)

Anyway, I didn't mean to turn this into a rant about bi-issues. I really want L's especially, and also G's to have a pure space, just for them where no one else can go and bother them, not even B's.

I honestly thing one of the best ways to help lesbians is to somehow make the label of Bisexual more cool/shiny and attractive, so that the trenders will covet that label instead. But the problem is, team-bi isn't exclusive at all. Nobody is screeching "you're not bi!" at people. Anyone who claims to be bi, we just shrug and say "okay," so it doesn't feel like a forbidden fruit you're not allowed to have.

Maybe it's better to rebrand Pansexual and encourage the trenders to use that label instead, because people look at the bisexual label like it's smeared in shit for some reason. But on the other hand, I also want Pansexual to just die already. I also don't want non-bisexual people using the bisexual label.

It's such a big mess. How are so many people this confused about their own sexuality? Society sucks.

/rambling mess

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Ahahah. There are already bisexuals calling themselves lesbians. And I guess that's also happen in the gay community, because there is a stigma toward bisexuality in men. And stigma toward female bisexuality among lesbians. I wish people would just use a label just to express a feeling rather than make some kind of political point,

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

They feel like once they call themselves lesbian, these gates are going to open up and they are going to be let into this cool club with beautiful glamorous people in it, and it's all going to be so fabulous. But in reality, they are still just sitting in their dirty bedroom and nothing is happening. "Lesbian" isn't a magic phrase, it's just a word that means "woman who is exclusively attracted to women." These people are living too much in fantasy land.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 13 insightful - 5 fun13 insightful - 4 fun14 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, there is nothing really special about being homosexual. I mean relations between women are fucking magical, best thing ever, but it really doesn't make you some kind of special cool snowflake. I guess that's why they know invented all these shitty genders. Homosexuals are really boring and regular in day to day life, nothing that makes you a special being among the crowd. And that's so horrible for attention whores

[–]sickofit[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

A lot of them aren't confused... they know they aren't lesbians. They just "identify" as lesbian without caring about actual lesbians. The forbidden fruit thing you said is a big part of it, but i think its so stupid that they see a minority as a "forbidden fruit" instead of just a different group of people. Calling myself Native American is forbidden but i also dont see it as a forbidden fruit to do it just because somebody tells me no or because Native Americans are seen as cool by liberals.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

That's a good example because there are people who actually do pretend to be native american. You know... they're like 1/16th Cherokee Princess or 1/8th "Gypsy" <--- (and of course they have to use the offensive word) or something else impossible to verify. Some people have this deep insecurity and the only thing that makes them feel better is to be the uniquest snowflake possible. I'm sure all these fake lesbians also have like three different kinds of self-diagnosed mental illnesses and all these other identities they are opting into.

I think the most realistic solution is to somehow get them to see bisexual as a cooler orientation than lesbian (I mean, I really don't want these creeps in Team-Bi either. You think they're bisexual, but I feel like a lot of these people are either straight women who've been burned by men too many times, or straight men Larping as lesbians online.) But if they claim to like both dick and puss, I guess I have no choice but to issue them a Bi Passport, and then just sit back and listen to them gurgle on about all the pussy they've never eaten (and don't really want to eat) and all the dicks that have never made them orgasm. Unfortunately, they don't want to leave Lesbian Island. How do we get through to people like this?

[–]HelloMomo 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

We're working on starting a discord server for those of us who are lost amidst our generation. No a solution, but a salve maybe. DM me for the link

[–]sickofit[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

i would love to join. sending DM

[–]Questionable 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"The big one for me are the whole “sexuality is fluid” and “call yourself whatever you want” things. I would bet anything that lesbians were not at the forefront of making things go this way."

You would be correct. And it is by design. Corporations promote diversity, and shape these narratives because it actually makes it harder for groups to organize. They can force diversity in order to fracture communities or unions. So when you see tech companies such as reddit pushing you into a group that you do not relate to, they are doing this intentionally. From the way the site appears on a phone, to the way it's increasingly harder for you to view comments. And especially the down vote system. This enables them to coerce people through peer pressure, and if not change your mind, change what you say and share with others. Tƃ̸͎̯̓̌ey are making it harder for people to communicate both inside social media and in the real world. They want you to feel uncomfortable. This makes it easier for them to provide you a solution with a unified voice.

I wish I had an answer for you, as to how to weather this current trend of tech companies controlling social media groups, but I don't. I guess you'll just have to figure that part out on your own.

Oh and hey. Welcome to Saidit.

Ĥ̅͛ǝ̮̺͕̲̰llo ʍoɹlp' I,m Qnǝsʇᴉouɐqlǝ.̬̘̟ͅ