Edited to add more as I thought of them. I also got some of these ideas from the podcast that benjamin boyce did with chris shelton (well worth a listen!), the NYTimes podcast caliphate (the first full-length episode) and the list on this page https://destroyyourbinder.tumblr.com/support . Here is a list from the last page and a lot of it rings true too.

• attempts to overwrite your self-understanding with their own
• claims to be able to tell you things about yourself that you do not or cannot know
• makes you afraid to speak, especially about what you value, what you are going through, or problems with that person or the group itself
• attempts to make you dependent on them, their support, or their narrative about you, especially if they threaten you with ostracism or revoke support for not complying with or remaining dependent on them
• levels punishment on you for incomprehensible or minor offenses, especially if they (or those in power) are somehow exempt from these rules
• makes you feel more special, understood, or powerful than you have ever felt before, especially if you feel afraid that you might lose this feeling or it might be taken away (by the person/the group)
• invokes concepts or knowledge that seem very important or have huge implications for you, but refuses to explain them, is consistently incoherent, or implies that they are beyond your understanding
• uses their authority, knowledge, or other form(s) of power to evoke experiences in you that you supposedly cannot have if you were on a reciprocal level with certain individuals or the group.
• refuses to even consider or acknowledge that you may be being harmed when you make a complaint about them or the group
• claims you are intrinsically incapable of being harmed by a particular person or the group due to your personal characteristics or demographic qualities.

Edit: here are links to the boyce podcasts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwXkXNd7yO4&t=3331s and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_l_05_REshA&t=2068s (the latter is more about the black lives matter movement).