all 68 comments

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

All my friends are genderspecials or genderspecials sympathizers. I was interrogated by my close friend the other week because she was concerned because sometimes I have a "conservative view of gender" aka I think women and homosexuality are a real phenomenon. I come here for relief.

I said that I don't agree with every notion of gender theory (since like new and contradictory ones come out every week) and she (they, sorry) said that's not ok for me as a cis person. Essentially that because I'm cis I'm not allowed to think critically and come to my own conclusions, I need to just accept it all without thought. This was in response to me saying that there are even trans people who are critical of some of the rhetoric. Ok for them, not for me bc cis.

Op where do you live?

[–]FrostyNugsI'm allergic to nuts[S] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Essentially that because I'm cis I'm not allowed to think critically and come to my own conclusions, I need to just accept it all without thought.

Questioning the indoctrination is not allowed. You are not allowed to think unless you're at a certain place in the hierarchy. It's so obviously a cult lmao. Just say you're commonsensegender and get that instant gender cred. You have my deepest sympathies for having begendered friends, though. Most of my friend group is woke people who I fully expect to turn some form of genderspecial in the next year or two.

I'm in the US, where gender ideology has gotten ahold of even otherwise normal heterosexuals and made them insufferable. I don't really know how bad it is in most other countries, but from what I hear the situation in America is still better than in a lot of other western nations because we can't get arrested or fined for "hate speech" when we question gender theory. Yet. Lots of self-proclaimed liberals think would be a fine and dandy idea to police and censor speech as long as that speech might slightly hurt someone's feelings.

[–]Kai_Decadence 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lots of self-proclaimed liberals think would be a fine and dandy idea to police and censor speech as long as that speech might slightly hurt someone's feelings.

Yep and they even call us "Conservative" if we don't buy into the ideology even if most of our other views tend to be more on the left side of the political leaning like universal healthcare.

[–]luckystar 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

There's a simple solution to that little problem. Explain you're not cis. Because in all likelihood, you're not -- Do you 100% of the time identify with all the social roles, behaviors, appearance, etc of your birth sex? If not, congrats, you're not cis! I think the actual % of the population that is "cis" is actually tiny, it's just that most of us don't sit around with our thumbs up our asses thinking about how special our ~relationship with gender~ is. Agender or non binary more accurately fits the average person who isn't literally a Barbie Doll or G.I. Joe.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Big agree with it. I was always confused by cis definition because I never wanted to become the opposite sex but I'm not attached to the one I was born as either. Intuitively I always thought that only trans people experience something like gender identity and it's a disorder to feel it... not something actually normative. People don't think of themselves through gender lenses. Most of us are agender.

[–]Kai_Decadence 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That is such a gross attitude to have that to these "genderspecials" (love it lol), we can't even think for ourselves. See they laugh when some of us say that their attitude and authoritarian mindset is akin to that of George Orwell's "1984" "2+2 = 5" rhetoric. The whole "Cis" along with "TERF" thing is just a way to silence those of us sane people who don't buy into their nonsense ideology. You said it yourself, they come out with new theories every other month and they are just as insipid and contradictory as the last.

Just know we're all here for you here. This is the place where so many of us just come to remember that we're not going crazy haha.

[–]windrunner 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

said that's not ok for me as a cis person. Essentially that because I'm cis I'm not allowed to think critically and come to my own conclusions, I need to just accept it all without thought.

lmao the NERVE i just can't

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 11 insightful - 7 fun11 insightful - 6 fun12 insightful - 7 fun -  (13 children)

I only deal with normal people, aka straight people

[–]FrostyNugsI'm allergic to nuts[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

Based af. Unfortunately where I am, woke bullshit has gotten to straight people too.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

It's like a crazy trend. I was watching a clip with Santana Lopez (poor Naya, it is so sad she died) and Demi Lovato from glee, when Demi played a lesbian saying "yeah, I'm a lesbian, I love lady parts", it was from early 2010's, I thought, damn, today you would have plenty of gender nutjobs saying is terf to equate being lesbians to loving pussy. Just a matter of few years and everything has changed a lot in LGBT USA world.

[–]FrostyNugsI'm allergic to nuts[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Omg, a lesbian saying she likes pussy? That sounds problematic!!! But honestly it's so crazy how much has changed in less than a decade. Just a few years ago, it was considered okay to be gay in most western countries. Honestly it says a lot about what people really think of homosexuals when to most woke people, the only palatable form of "gay" relationships to see is one that involves a delusional "female" penis going into a delusional "lesbian" vagina.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, even calling it lady parts would be considered outrageous today. Really, when this clip was made, someone questioning lesbian only liking pussy or pussy being lady parts would be considered nutjobs, while now is everything you see in any LGBT spaces. Only so few years, but a super big change,

[–]Kai_Decadence 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

Women can have penises too. Lesbians don't always like pussy, they like girldick as well, don't be afraid of mouthfeel and don't be a bigot /s

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 7 insightful - 8 fun7 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 8 fun -  (4 children)

Last time I visited /r/ActualLesbians, all lesbians there had penises, is there even lesbians without penises?! :D

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 7 insightful - 7 fun7 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 7 fun -  (2 children)

Dickless lesbians are an endangered species-

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, I know, last one I've saw except myself, was long time ago, pretty hungry for them ;)

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I would like to eat one that strange creatures...

[–]Kai_Decadence 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Like oh my gosh! lol

[–]windrunner 0 insightful - 2 fun0 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Omg, a lesbian saying she likes pussy?

hmmmm this smells like transphobia right here

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

Dayum, I am not normal!

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're the kind of good crazy, though.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Terrible. A disaster. I have no real life friends and I don't date.

Gendershit has nothing to do with it. I also don't go to, nor want to go to, "LGBT spaces" or anything of the sort. I have little interest in gaining friends who make their sexuality their defining personality trait, nor do I think it's wise to exclude straight people. I'd rather connect over something more interesting, like a hobby.

[–]FrostyNugsI'm allergic to nuts[S] 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Honestly, not dating might be the smartest move. Before the gendershit really kicked off, when I first heard of the existence of gay/lesbian focused spaces, I assumed it would be a place for normal people who happened to be gay to meet and maybe find potential partners. Was very disappointed to learn that they're actually for people who substitute being gay and being political for having an actual personality.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

We don't even have such places here, so at least there some benefits in living in homophobic-ish countries, lol.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Saaame. I was so disappointed when I started realising that :(

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Usually are the most extroverted type of people who need to be at the center of attention the whole time.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I do it for more personal reasons than gender stuff, but that too. Gender & gay culture combined, dating for a gay male is a joke. No love. Only hookups and pissing contests over pronouns.

[–]reluctant_commenter 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Early 20s lesbian here (still trying to get over my hangups with the L word, lol). I live in a woke area. I feel kind of terrified to talk about TQ topics at all, because I'm afraid of people freaking out at me if they find out my views (workplace is very woke). And lol. I have literally no idea how to find other LGB people. I haven't ever tried the mess that is dating apps so I guess there are some on there, but like you said, most are probably super TQ-friendly. I have a good support network of non-LGB friends across the country, which is very fortunate, some of whom even enjoy talking about LGB issues with me! And I recently made one lesbian friend who is TQ-questioning, hoping she can convince me to her several other LGB friends. Made a post about that recently if you search my post history.

Quite frankly, I have no game plan for meeting people romantically, lmao. I am actually not looking for people right now though, even if the pandemic were a factor; I feel like I have a ton to work on and would like to get to a better, less negative, place of acceptance regarding my sexuality before I start a relationship. My last relationship kind of just fell into my lap without me having to do much searching, it was very lucky.

[–]Kai_Decadence 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Best of luck dear, don't let these people beat you down (and don't let some transbian try to shame you for not preferring dick). It'll hopefully get better but I know the struggle. Cherish the friends you do have that do support you though.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you. <3 I appreciate it.

[–]BonesRedsMy pronouns are Yu/Gi/Oh! 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

My social life? It's great actually. I belong to several hobby meetups and I've been having lots of weekend getaways with long-time friends lately.

My gay social life, though? Non-existent. I literally only hang out with straight people except for my girlfriend. I've had a handful of LGB friends over the years and they've all gone full TQ+. My best friend in high school used to be bisexual but now she's a "biromantic asexual transmasculine person." What the fuck is up with that.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

"biromantic asexual transmasculine person."

dafuq. These people must have lots of time on their hands to have such "vivid" imagination xD

[–]Kai_Decadence 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

biromantic asexual transmasculine person.

The hell does that even mean? Do these people not hear how ridiculous they sound ?? lol

[–]BigMommyMilkersYes, they're real 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Mid 20s - I pretty much spend all my time working so don't really have a social life other than chilling with my gf and maybe meeting a friend every few weeks. I have quite a few online friends though, a mix of lesbians and straight men.

I don't particularly care whether I'm TERFed in real life, if a person or a group of people were into TQ+, then it's not the person/s I would want to associate with anyway, I'm from Europe and the whole trans madness isn't so pronounced here. As for meeting new people? To be honest Discord could be a good shot, there's tons of US lesbians (across all political spectrums) but with one thing in common, they've not drank the koolaid.

I definitely still recommend joining some servers, I'm in a couple (the one I told you about) and another, it's been a great way for me to connect with lesbians online, if I had more free time I'd definitely arrange to meet some of them in person.

[–]uroborosjohnson 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I would love to know these discord servers. I'm a lesbian moving to a woke city and even one fellow terf to get coffee with would make it bearable.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (25 children)

I am a couple of years older, but things are exactly the same for me on the other side of 25. Dating apps are especially bad. I have not dated since my last relationship ended in 2019 because the apps just depress me so much. Nothing but gender ideologues and straight couples seeking a third! I’m in a very liberal city, and honestly I have gay friends in conservative areas who have a better time in the dating department than I do. I am honestly afraid of accidentally dating some woman who finds out I don’t believe in gender ideology and then proceeds to flip out and call my boss or something.

I’ve seen the pronouns in bio litmus testing too. It hasn’t spread to too many people I know in real life yet, but I have gotten shunned in small hobby circles online because I didn’t do it. I never post anything even remotely political on any social media that has my name and face on it. Sometimes I wonder if that makes people suspicious. I noticed a big uptick in online virtue signaling this year, even among previously “normal” people.

My solution has pretty much been to befriend 40-year-old straight people at work, who could not possibly give a shit about any of this stuff. But it obviously doesn’t do much for my romantic life! I also met some people from pre-censorship Reddit. Unfortunately a lot of my hobbies tend to attract a very woke crowd, but if you can think of any that don’t really attract them, you could try those.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

Is is really so bad that in a city you can only find straight couple and not lesbians? I mean, I know there are a lot of them in apps, but everyone like that and not real women into women?

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Not everyone, but it seems like quite a lot are. I've also run across a few who hid it until I tried to meet up with them, which is the most frustrating thing of all.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Yeah, that's depressing. I would say in a liberal city there must be real lesbians.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

They've probably all gotten fed up with this nonsense on the apps and quit!

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Man, if you get this problem in a city, it is really depressing.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)


Why in English this is common phrase to a person? It is so weird to read every time. In our language it is not like that, so I always need few seconds to realize what is written and why it is said "man" when speaking to woman :D

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Do not know, I used it as an expression of frustration. Do you get it? Man, frustration, they fit together as words LMAO

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

He he.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Man is derived from manos which just means hand. Animals with hands... so it's understandable that it can be neutral.

[–]Kai_Decadence 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

Unfortunately a lot of my hobbies tend to attract a very woke crowd

Man this is so true it hurts for myself as well. I tend to be into art and video games and oh man is the genderspecial/trans crap popular in these areas. I feel your pain....

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Same here and it's what made me actually peak because the amount of genderspecial people was too high for what's believed to be relatively rare. I'm in some circles and one group I'm in features 3 non-binaries, 1 trans person, 2 asexuals (counting myself) and 2 straight people and there is like maybe just 8 of us. It shouldn't be so common to see such people in a such small place. That's why I kinda feel shitty I legit identify as asexual but the truth is I'm not straight or gay no matter how hard I try to convince myself. It just doesn't work.

[–]Kai_Decadence 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh man that sounds hella rough but I can see how that would peak you. Isn't it funny how most seem to be in these more geekier hobbies though, especially in the gaming (Video Games or Table Top), a hobby that encourages imagination? It feels like these people lose grip on reality and think they can actually be whatever. That or they latch onto certain female characters and want to be one or just something lol point is, I notice this quite a bit lol.

And no need to apologize for being asexual. It's very rare but you shouldn't do something you don't want to do.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Same here. I am also an amateur musician. Can't hide from it there either.

And while it's not a hobby, I work in tech, so networking events outside of my current, old-fashioned company are rife with that stuff too.

[–]Kai_Decadence 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

Oh man, it's just inescapable if you're int the creative arts... :( And I'm not surprised to hear that about your tech job, I kept hearing that these genderspecials "trans" are quite rampant in the tech & IT industry, at least from a report I read about what it's like in Silicon Valley, California.

[–]FrostyNugsI'm allergic to nuts[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I have a friend who's a freelance artist, and she often complains to me about how much virtue signaling she has to do on social media just so she doesn't get a bad rep in the woke art crowd. Being an artist of any kind in these times sounds exhausting :(

[–]Constantine 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Ugh, this is my life. If I want any money this quarter, I need to play the woke game or I don't eat or pay rent. I love being in a creative field and having a lot of control over my daily life/schedule, but it's a rough time when everyone around you is a total nut job talking about burning Harry Potter books. Which is ironic since growing up all I wanted to do was get away from the hyper-conservatives burning those same books....

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

it's a rough time when everyone around you is a total nut job talking about burning Harry Potter books. Which is ironic since growing up all I wanted to do was get away from the hyper-conservatives burning those same books.

I feel like the religious conservatives and the ultra-woke are basically two sides of the same coin, which is funny because they hate each other so much.

[–]Constantine 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Extremism begets extremism, as they say.

[–]Kai_Decadence 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I kinda feel your friend's pain, I'm a freelance artist as well taking commission work from people within the art scene and while I don't virtue signal, I haven't made my views entirely clear on where I stand with the whole gender crap publicly outside of those who may have been friends on my personal Facebook (who up and ditched me when I came out last year).

I really feel for her, it really is a sucky situation.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Fortunately I'm on the other coast, which is still a lot but nowhere near California levels yet. There is no amount of money that could convince me to move there. I'd rather stay at "uncool" companies with some small semblance of normalcy forever.

[–]Kai_Decadence 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Haha I don't blame you. I'm actually originally from California before I moved to where I am now at 15 and I would say how I want to move back there someday because I liked the weather there but that was like back in 2009 and seeing where it is now, yeah I don't wanna go back lol

[–]uroborosjohnson 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

What region are you in if you feel comfortable disclosing it? I'm also in tech and in a woke city

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)


[–]babystud 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah most of my friends are genderspecial sympathizers so i just avoid those topics. As for dating its hard to find a lesbian who isnt a genderspecial so u just gotta pick the most sane one u can find

[–]les4leshomonormative 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

A lot of my friends are through my (fairly liberal) university so... yeah, it's pretty overrun with gender theory. I would love to network a little and meet some more normal and/or sensible people but it's pretty hard to go around asking people if they believe in gender hahaha

Sadly a lot of the people who are moderately woke just to be nice end wind up having to become super woke because that's just how it works to be woke. Nobody will accepted half ass wokeness

terf'd and feathered

also lmao at this

[–]Kai_Decadence 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm actually in my late 20s at the age of 29 and didn't get out of the Trans cult mentality until I was about 26 or 27 but yeah, it's been pretty rough but I'm not in my early 20s so I'm curious to hear what the younger generation has to share about this.

Any attempt to gather LGB people together without the TQ+ is met with woke screeching and histrionics

See Ihere's the thing. They may bitch and moan but do you think that a LGB centered space that refuses to bow down to the TQ cult, do you think it could still last and prevail despite the screeching from the TQ+ crowd? I'd like to think it would.

[–]ThiccDropkickGay 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Most of my friends are probably that way tbh. I'm just extremely nonconfrontational irl and I've never asked them about it (nor particularly want to if I'm close with them).

[–]Constantine 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm 24 and it's pretty rough, to be honest. Things were a lot better for me socially when I was still kind of, sort of drinking the Kool-Aid, but I still had doubts and concerns that kept me up at night even then.

I live in a pretty purple area now, which nowadays basically means that everyone I meet is one of two brands of crazy (three if you count the hardcore Libertarian types that keep popping up). I don't like any of the brands, I just want to find normal people in my age range who are able to have a level-headed conversation without telling me I'm literally murdering trans people for questioning gender ideologies, or murdering helpless babies for being pro-choice. Is there no middle ground anymore? I don't even need them to agree with me, I just need them to not stop seeing me as human for disagreeing. Literally, my former best friend posted on social media recently that he (actually it's "they" now, but fuck that nonsense) can't be friends with anyone who disagrees with him on anything politically.

I've thought about moving to a bigger city so I have more social opportunities, but then I realized that that's just picking one brand of crazy and paying a premium in rent for it, so I think I'm going to stick where I am and hope for the best. There's one gay bar in town and I went there sometimes before COVID, but it's getting more and more TQ+ heavy. Everyone I meet who's sort of reasonable on anything turns out to be straight men with serious misogyny problems. Or they're seventy years old, which I guess is better than nothing.

At this point I've totally given up on dating, I'd just take a friend in my age range who is somewhat palatable to be around sometimes. No more dating apps for me. I'm even in the process of deleting my few remaining social media accounts. It's too much crazy.

[–]HelloMomo 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't even need them to agree with me, I just need them to not stop seeing me as human for disagreeing.

That's the heart of the matter, isn't it? [sigh]

[–]circus_cyaneus 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not very good, but it could be worse. I'm female, homosexual and in my early 20's. Tried going on the apps for dating purposes and was bitterly disappointed with the results. I have good friends whom I've stayed in touch with throughout quarantine, but I don't usually speak with them about issues of sexuality because it isn't really a part of our repertoire. Two of them I do speak with about these things, but again, it isn't something I like to talk about. I prefer to be discreet. I also haven't much to share, frankly; I don't think there's anything very interesting about yearning or "crushes" or whatever, which I think are topics that take up way too much space in my own head anyway.

If I were honest with myself, I'd have to confess that the feelings of loneliness and isolation I've been getting are not so much a product of "dyke angst" and romantic disillusionment as they are of lacking an appropriately satisfying outlet for my sexual energies. I feel a bit pent up physically, emotionally and sexually, living with my family (whom I love, btw) in a small house in the city while being unable to do anything in the business of sex and romance. I find it - myself - ridiculous, but that's just how it is. I only came to terms with this dimension of myself last year after falling desperately in love with an non-conventionally attractive woman who was supervising me and a small team of students for an extracurricular activity at my law school. It's not that I hadn't realized it before - I've known since I was 13 or 14 - but one day I just... well, the realness of it came crashing down upon me all of a sudden, and I felt so lost and confused I couldn't bring myself to speak with anyone about it for months. I wasn't helped by the fact that I occupy some fairly small ideological niches already and couldn't bring myself to participate in LGBTetc aftivities even if I was out. I wish all of this weren't bsuch a big deal for me but apparently it is and I'm trying to work through that in a minimally healthy manner.

[–]uroborosjohnson 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm moving to a very woke city to work for a very woke company and I'm dreading it. I'm mid twenties but still. It sucks because I want to check out the local gay scene but I'm sure it's gonna be TQ shit as far as the eye can see. What I wouldn't give for some sort of way to meet likeminded people. However any attempt at networking would definitely make one a target for sure.