Is anybody on this sub a straight ally or questioning?

submitted by [deleted] from self.LGBDropTheT

Because I feel alone here lol.

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[–]Tikiri 33 insightful - 4 fun33 insightful - 3 fun34 insightful - 4 fun -  (5 children)

Straight ally here!👋🏽 I lurked a lot in both r/GC and r/lgbdropthet before they got banned. I grew up with lgb friends and neighbors both here in the U.S. and in my native country, and just never thought there was anything “wrong” with them, even though even here in the U.S. homosexuality/bisexuality were deemed “deviant”, “abnormal” etc. (b.t.w. I’m old!😂). In my native country homosexuality is still illegal.

I was a LibFem for a bit and dabbled in the t.w.a.w. nonsense accordingly ... until I actually read some books written by both FtM and MtF writers, and the aggressive, almost violent narcissism on display shook me to the core. And especially MtFs because, well, as a straight woman I can clock a straight man when I see one.🤷🏻‍♀️ And the way they harass lesbians is sickening.

I’m an ally because I’m against straight people, whether or not they’re “trans”, perpetrating violence against gay and bi people, simple as that. And make no mistake, it IS violence, whether it’s mental, emotional, physical, psychological, or whatever form it takes.

[–]reluctant_commenter 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

until I actually read some books written by both FtM and MtF writers, and the aggressive, almost violent narcissism on display shook me to the core.

What books? I'm trying to collect a list of quotes from trans rights activists, to show friends skeptical about the harm done by homophobic trans people.

And especially MtFs because, well, as a straight woman I can clock a straight man when I see one.🤷🏻‍♀️ And the way they harass lesbians is sickening.

Thanks for the support, dude, much appreciated. It IS sickening. I've contemplated coming out of the closet but have hesitated to do so, in part because I don't want to be make myself a target for people in the "queer community" who believe women who don't want dick are bigots or ought to be ashamed of themselves. I'm still getting over shame about being gay that I got from my homophobic conservative relatives... now we've got liberal homophobia as well, lol.

[–]Tikiri 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Okay, I have to say something to you that may not be my place to say but ... I’ll say it anyway: DON’T let these freaks scare you into staying in the closet, if what you really want is to come out. Let that be YOUR call to do if and when YOU want, not letting these thugs dictate your life. They already dictate far too many of our laws, beliefs and, most of all, our freedoms.

I mean, as a single mom trying to change careers while living in the Wokest Place on Earth, I’m very “stealth” in my opinions on this whole TRA ideology and the abuse they dish out with no consequences, so I’m probably not one to talk about not letting them dictate my life, but it just pains me so much to see a gay person do anything similar. Growing up in the ‘70s-‘80s, first in a super conservative third world country and then in the U.S. where I witnessed SO much suffering among closeted people (in my native country they’re still forced to do that, for the most part), it makes me incredibly sad. Not to mention angry, because I really thought for a minute that we were done with this b.s. in the West!

Ugh. Sorry for the rant. But ... ⚡️I’m sending you strength and power vibes, friend!⚡️

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for sharing your thoughts and support, I appreciate it. No need to apologize... it's an important topic and it's helpful to hear from your perspective, which IS pretty unique.

TRAs do dictate a lot of areas of our lives now, at least here in the U.S. I think part of my hesitance comes also from negative feelings about my sexual orientation. If I'm going to come out, I need to know that I can FULLY back myself up if I get verbally attacked by the sort of self-righteous gender ideology adherent that I'm surrounded with (I also live in a TRA-heavy area). And, I'm just not quite there yet. I guess it'll just take some time; I already feel WAY different towards myself than even at the beginning of this year, so there's progress.

Anyway, thanks for the encouragenent. And for the good vibes. :) :) Right back atcha.

[–]Tikiri 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Oh, and forgot to add: the books were by one S. Bear Bergman (sp?) who’s FtM, and then Sissy by Jacob Tobia, and I’m Afraid of Men by Vivek Shraya, among others. Some I read a while back, so I forget the titles. B.t.w., “Vivek” is MtF but has conveniently kept his very masculine first name.🙄

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks!! Will take a look :)

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 30 insightful - 4 fun30 insightful - 3 fun31 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I stand with straight people. We wouldn’t be here without straight people having sex. Furthermore, at least 90% of the population are straight, so we are going to need you guys on our side whenever there is a referendum on gay rights, or governments decide to grant us more rights or take our rights away. This is why I do not understand all these "queer" activists being rude or nasty to straight people - a straight white liberal might put up with it, but every other straight person would get understandably angry at this and not take it at all. I sure as hell wouldn’t.

Now I don’t call myself an ally of the heterosexual community - I just know that being nasty to straight people is not only cruel, but also idiotic, and counts as shooting yourself in the foot. Straight people are welcome as guests on this sub, as long as we remember why this sub exists.

[–]spakezz 28 insightful - 5 fun28 insightful - 4 fun29 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

Only been on saidit for a day but yes straight ally lurking here. This sub is based as fuck.

[–]reluctant_commenter 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Just curious, how'd you hear about us? Most of my straight friends don't have any of this on their radars, unfortunately.

Also, glad to have you here!

[–]spakezz 12 insightful - 3 fun12 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Ended up here purely by chance. Saidit was mentioned a few weeks ago on a subreddit I frequent so I decided to check it out. Found you guys browsing through the "not on all" section. Had no idea hitherto of issues raised here. I sympathize with your criticisms of TRAs parading TQ+ as champions of the oppression olympics and redefining LGB identities to a point where they're void of value, just to cater to a very insignificant minority of crying wojaks that can't be happy in life without constant validation for being unprecedented perverts and fetishists.

[–]pacmanla 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm a heterosexual male, & I definitely support the LGB against homophobia coming from the T. Trust me, most heterosexuals don't know how bad it's gotten with TRAs attempting to shame lesbians & gay men into being romantic/intimate with them. You might have those who know, but stay out, because they feel like it's not affecting them personally.

But, if you believe TRAs aren't going to try to come after heterosexuals you're delusional. They will, but if they attempt it right now, too many people will peak & they know this, so they're bidding their time. But, it's coming. Sexual ORIENTATION should be respected, & no, it's not a "preference".

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I wouldn't be surprised if there are a lot fewer straight allies here than the rest of the alphabet soup has managed to sweep up. I know I appreciate all of you, however many there are, for any and all support for us that you provide, even if some of it is motivated by self preservation

[–][deleted] 21 insightful - 3 fun21 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I'm also surprised to see straight people but you guys are a nice welcomed surprise. Thanks for being here.

[–]latuspodSuper Straight 20 insightful - 3 fun20 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I'm straight. I think the label of ally is stupid though, it is always used in a subservient manner.

I will stand up for what is right and express my opinion.

[–]worried19 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm female and attracted to men. I've always felt weird about the word "straight," but I am heterosexual.

I never visited this sub when it was on Reddit, but after the banwave, I joined all the ones that were GC adjacent. As a gender nonconforming woman, I'm very concerned about the current situation for fellow GNC women, many of whom are homosexual or bisexual. I'm also distressed by what's happening to GNC children and teenagers.

[–]Wandering_Idiot 16 insightful - 3 fun16 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I'm part of the "+" in the LGBT+. I'm here because I recognize just how batshit insane these micro labels have gotten. Also the unquestioning acceptance of everyone. I'm sorry but WTF does BDSM have to do with the LGBT+ community? Also I refuse to accept MAPs(Minor Attracted Person/aka pedophile) into the community.

[–]distortedlindsLady Muse 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

you're not alone! I am straight and am 100% an ally of this. <3 Everyone here is incredibly important and their voices need to be HEARD!! I applaud you all so much. Logic will prevail. #RationalRevolution

[–]supersmokio6420 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm straight and have been following the antics of the alphabet brigade since right back in the days of 'gamergate', and particularly since the Evergreen college stuff went down in the states, sort of via the so called 'intellectual dark web'.

Generally I find that although most straight people are basically unaware of all that's going on, they're naturally inclined to GC views and are aware the TQ+ don't represent LGB people.

[–]nevergonnagiveyouup 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

i'm straight, it feels nice to lurk around in a place where woke homophobia isn't the norm. it's a breath of fresh air, because it can be hard to find people who are against LGB erasure in this crazy world.

[–]spongebabthosepantsAlly 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I lurk

[–]Athelhilda2 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm questioning if I'm a lesbian or asexual.

[–]levoyageur718293 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I would like to consider myself a straight ally, but my main interest is GC and I lurk in the shadows here as a complement to GC. Trans infiltration ruins everything, but I think we can agree that lesbians are at the absolute ground zero.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm asexual ally here and I've been observing this sub even before the ban. I also feel lonely because asexuals are very on board with TQ+ since our existence was first acknowledged by TQ+ and then twisted to some ridiculous shit like "asexual can feel sexual attraction sometimes and bang everyday". Ehhhh... I'm infuriated by a lot of things on TQ+ side. It's hard to find anyone discussing the idiocy on the A side but the T has always weirded me out as well and I'm glad I'm not alone here.

At first it was just me noticing the abnormal frequency of people identifying as trans or non-binary on the internet. I have always seen non-binary as just another phase like emo phase kids had. The thing is I wasn't so concerned about it as long as I believed non-binaries are the one who don't transition nor alter their bodies with hormones and surgeries. While with trans people I was reassured they had to be diagnosed by very competent therapists and they had to put a lot of effort to prove their issue is really there - that it couldn't be just a phase.

It all shattered when I saw stories on detrans sub and how easy it is to actually trans yourself. This is when I stopped being so passive about it or being in support of it.

[–]devushkasuper straight chick 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

I'm a straight girl. (Sorry ladies.) I normally just lurk here since I wasn't sure if I was allowed to post or not.

[–]MyLongestJourney 6 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 5 fun -  (3 children)

I'm a straight girl. (Sorry ladies.)

Don't worry. We 'll get over it.

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Hey, you can't just go around roasting the straight people that actually support us

[–]MyLongestJourney 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Sweet Jesus and mighty Zeus,I was just replying in jest.She joked and I joked back.

[–]devushkasuper straight chick 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I just took it as a joke, since I made a joke first.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 5 fun -  (5 children)

I'm a wannabe straight ally, does that count? As in, I'm homosexual but trying to be straight. EDIT: Wait no, I don't believe in "allyship", scratch that part. Just a wannabe hetero then

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Hey, I'm a former catholic. I promise, this isn't a ship you can steer. It is what it is, the best you can do is be celibate.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Lol...? I was raised Catholic too, but that has nothing to do with it.

I'm not happy, & evidence both personal and scientific suggests sexuality is fluid and is affected by environment. If my only options are to be miserable with men I feel violated by, or be celibate and alone forever, then I may as well just kill myself because that's no way to live.

I'm not saying I'm a good person, or that I deserve a perfect life, but I think most people have the right to be content and not suffer with something needlessly.

Don't know whether you're trying to be encouraging or are genuinely being inflammatory, but this is a pretty rude thing to say. You basically just implied that I'll never get better and I'm stuck with a miserable life. Maybe that will be true but no one knows for sure. Just like my depression I may as well TRY to aim to be content.

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Hey no, I'm trying to help you out. I had to learn the hard way that sexuality isn't always fluid. I tried having a boyfriend because I thought that was the best path in life and put myself through an unhappy relationship because I thought I could learn to love him and enjoy sex with him but that just didn't happen. I wouldn't want anyone to make the same mistake. I was really miserable. There are definitely fluid people out there but there are also people who aren't. If you feel you could be attracted to women then that's great. Sorry for bringing up celibacy, that was the oft touted solution at the church I was at. Can you talk to someone about this? This is well above my pay-grade clearly. And no, I don't think you'll never get better or that you'll be stuck with a miserable life. I hope that if you talk to someone that maybe you can work through these things together and make peace with them— whatever that may look like for you.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You fail to understand that you are not me, and I am not you.

First of all, you are a lesbian. Do you have any idea how different it is being a lesbian vs a homosexual male? I know this false idea of a "unified LGB" makes it seem like homosexuals are all hiveminds, but I am telling you, there is a HUGE difference between the two. You are not the first to try and convince me, but do you see what's wrong here? You and others always say "But you can't change it! You'll be miserable if you try! See, I LOVE being a lesbian because I get to be with girls and I don't have to deal with men!"

Do you not see the irony there? You are trying to convince me that homosexuality is good as a person who "doesn't have to deal with men." I have the opposite problem. I DO "have to deal with men" (Unless I want to be alone forever or in a relationship with someone I'm lying to) and THAT'S the problem. I don't like men. I am not "in love" with men. I don't want to be anywhere near men. I have never ever had a man sexually interest in me who saw me as an equal, if not someone who was literally intent on physically, sexually or emotionally abusing men. Men do not flirt with me, they do not tell me I'm attractive and that they like my personality, they open with graphic descriptions on how they'd like to rape me and cause permanent, visible damage to my body.

Look, if you like being a lesbian, cool. Good for you. Do what makes you happy. But I am one, not a lesbian, and two, not happy. I refuse to accept my sexuality as normal or healthy, and I think, even though I am flawed I deserve a chance at a relationship that doesn't involve me being abused, or at least, disgusted. My sexuality does not function "normally." I do not feel any "romantic attraction" to males, and I have never even been attracted to one specific man. In addition, men also disgust me physically, I cannot stand masculine features nor the smell of them. If this were a "normal and healthy" sexuality, this would not happen.

Maybe you are coming from a place of an ignorant but genuine desire to help, I understand, but know that you are coming across as pretty disrespectful. Even if you are trying to help, you are basically telling me that I will be miserable forever and I am doomed if I don't submit to people I am not interested in (men) and let them have their way with me. You are telling me that I should give up on life if I don't embrace the very thing that has ruined my self esteem & caused me extreme psychological and even physical distress.

I don't know what kool-aid you've been drinking but homosexuality is not always "uwu men loving men, cutie gay crushes on boys". In fact, I don't think it ever is. Sometimes, it's unhealthy, and I personally believe it's a disorder. I wont force you to agree, this is just my opinion based on research and personal experience. You can believe what you want, but I ask that you respect my belief too.

It would be nothing short of insane for me to "accept" this. Changing my sexuality is my only chance at a normal and stable life. For me to "accept" homosexuality would mean me getting in a relationship with someone who abuses me, or going down a path of casual sex and substance abuse (which I've already been on) that is going to leave me even worse than I already am.

No, I don't have anyone to talk to, because no therapist or other professional as this disgustingly "tolerant" country will let me speak about it without giving me the "that's homophobic and you have internalized homophobia honey, love is love, you need to be proud and fabulous about being a sex object for men sweetie!" talk. I'm not "homophobic" for wanting a chance at a normal life & a partner I can actually love and who will respect me.

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Damn, you have a lot in common with plenty of straight women, then. Kind of interesting.

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Bi chick in a relationship with my bi boyfriend. So idk lol

[–]QueenBread 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I don't like the word "ally". 1) It makes it look like a genuine war. 2) It makes it look like you can never ever join that group, you're always an outsider.

But yeah I'm what you'd call a "straight ally".

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Not sure if this is good news or not, but you're in the group, all right: The group that can see how crazy and abusive all of this is.

And before long, TRAs will probably try to yank you into the group of those also being directly targeted and abused. There have been rumblings of such attempts already. It's funny how many people who never wanted the T somehow need to drop the T.

[–]QueenBread 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

you're in the group, all right: The group that can see how crazy and abusive all of this is

Well..... now that you put it this way, you have a point.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

While it wouldn't be terribly relevant to the rest of history or current events to do so, according to a TRA understanding of the world and their place in it (the center, naturally), it would make perfect sense for us to drop the T...and add an S.