It's emotional labor to say you’re not a blatant homophobe

submitted by Lesbianese⚢ from ibb.co

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[–]loveSloaneSuperDuperBi 44 insightful - 1 fun44 insightful - 0 fun45 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I’m starting to think this martyr/victim complex is a part of their mental illness... I think they enjoy it. Maybe it’s a distraction or some way to take their minds away from the fact that what they wish themselves to be is unattainable. Idk if I worded that well, but my goodness the way they victimize themselves, deny their own actions, and project their shit onto us is just excessive.

[–]ChodeSandwichtender and moist 15 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I've heard of people getting addicted to cycles of (anger - release - look for a reason to get mad - anger -release. . .) before.

[–]julesburm1891 22 insightful - 9 fun22 insightful - 8 fun23 insightful - 9 fun -  (0 children)

Who are all these LGB people asking trans people about their feelings about being rejected? My experience has just been all the women in the room trying to ignore Todd in the party city wig and hoping he’ll take a hint and leave. No one is trying to engage with him further if they don’t have to.

[–]SapphicFox 20 insightful - 5 fun20 insightful - 4 fun21 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

LOL The gall of these people talking about "emotional labour' when they write a bazillion posts about how everyone else in society should practice getting their chosen fluctuating pronouns right and constantly deny material reality just so their fragile, narcissistic fantasy bubble doesnt pop.

Here's a thought, if LGB people are 'constantly' asking Trans people what they think about respecting boundries maybe its because the modern day Trans community doesn't have the greatest reputation in that regard?

[–]insta 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ikr? These people want to overhaul the greeting and meeting process and moreover just simple social interactions, and they dare speak of "emotional labour". Rounding to the nearest whole number these people make up 0% of the population but we need change our entire social process and they dare to complain that we're asking too much of them.

[–][deleted] 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

can you at least do this the simple courtesy of shutting up about it?

Not until YOU do US the simple courtesy of realizing you aren't special, realizing that anyone can be rejected and deemed unattractive for any reason, shutting the everloving fuck up about 'genital preferences/fetishes', and at the very least being quiet about your homophobia if you aren't willing to unlearn it.

You CHOSE to bear this 'burden' when you failed to keep rapey members of your community in check and let them speak for you.

[–]motss-pb 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

This is such gaslighting. Just yesterday, we got this gem on AskGayBrosOver30:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskGaybrosOver30/comments/jx2uaa/why_are_so_many_of_you_attracted_to_trans_men/

"Why are so many of you attracted to trans men UNTIL they say they’re trans, and then suddenly you aren’t interested any more?"

They are the ones seeking constant validation of their identities, not us.

[–]SapphicFox 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Is Askgaybros moderated now? There's an anal-retentive mod in that thread picking on certain users for 'wrongthink'.

[–]fuck_reddit 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

AGB over 30 is a separate sub that is super moderated by a TRA, very obnoxious...

[–]SapphicFox 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ah, gotcha thanks, didn't see the 'over 30' bit initially.

[–]ThiccDropkickGay 14 insightful - 5 fun14 insightful - 4 fun15 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

TRA: would you date a trans guy?

Gay guy: no

TRA: Who even asked? Nobody wants to hear about your preferences! Why do gay people always want to tell trans people they wouldn’t date them??

[–]8bitgay 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I love these threads on reddit. They start the thread to ask people how they feel but only accept positive answers.

[–]CleverNickName 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

you forgot the preceding step where the gay guy never even thought about the transes, but then a transperson barges in their face and MUST KNOW what gay guy thinks of them

[–]fuck_reddit 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

"It's emotional labor for me to affirm that you have a right to consent." ftfy

[–]Lesbianese⚢[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

you know what i think cis people, and especially lgb cis people, rely too much on people validating their romantic revulsion to trans people. like i’ve never met an lgb trans person who wasn’t asked “what do you think of gay people who aren’t willing to date you because of your transition status/agab/etc” and it’s the emotional labor we’re forced to carry to just say “no i don’t think you’re an evil cis gay for not being attracted to me, it’s within your right to have boundaries” an whatnot lest we be The Evil Transes Who Will Rape You.

like is it not enough to just reject us and go? can you just be satisfied in the knowledge that, yes you are rejecting us because we’re trans, but you’re gonna leave us with enough dignity to not say that’s why. we already know our attractiveness is in a permanent state of “up for debate” can you at least do this the simple courtesy of shutting up about it?

[–]fuck_reddit 14 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

"we already know our attractiveness is in a permanent state of 'up for debate'" literally along with every other person on Earth. I have yet to find a person alive that everyone agrees is attractive. This is the most impossible standard for acceptance, yet apparently that's the hill that they are going to literally die on...

[–]ChodeSandwichtender and moist 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I read this four times and can't figure out what they want.

[–]Lesbianese⚢[S] 16 insightful - 4 fun16 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 4 fun -  (6 children)

To stop asking if we're bad people for not wanting to have sex with them, even though it's the their fellow TRAs who are screaming that we are. Oh, and to reject them for some reason that isn't that they're trans, but plenty of them will get irritated at you because they know it's the reason you did.

[–]Death_Tephra 14 insightful - 8 fun14 insightful - 7 fun15 insightful - 8 fun -  (4 children)

What reason would they prefer? You're ugly? You smell bad? Your laugh is intolerable? I have to go now, my planet needs me?

[–]Rosefield 10 insightful - 5 fun10 insightful - 4 fun11 insightful - 5 fun -  (3 children)

"I'm asexual"

"I identify as not being attracted to you."

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I'm wondering if I could appropriate asexuality as a possible defense. Where do asexuals lie on the hierarchy of queerdom?

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 6 insightful - 7 fun6 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

Somewhere between Valid as Fuck and Yaas Queen.

[–]YoutiaoLover 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I need a map 😂

[–]loveSloaneSuperDuperBi 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It’s so convenient. They give themselves an excuse for anytime someone rejects them or something doesn’t go their way. It’s always because they’re trans.