RantThe Her app keeps getting better

submitted by lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian from self.LGBDropTheT

In the last month, Her has now removed sexual orientation and gender from the quick view options when you're in the app. If you want to know if someone is a woman (womxn), lesbian, bi, straight (yes, there are those) or queer, you need to go the extra mile and pull up their info. Otherwise you just have a profile picture and pronouns.

Fuck this fucking app.

No other app (other than Hinge and Bumble that don't even list orientation) does this shit.

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[–]julesburm1891 35 insightful - 2 fun35 insightful - 1 fun36 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Ditch it forever. When I was last dating, I encountered mostly dudes on that app. The few women I actually met up with were all kind of nutty in either that they were TRAs and/or they thought crystals were a type of medicine.

Oddly, I had way better luck on Tinder.

[–]Rosefield 32 insightful - 2 fun32 insightful - 1 fun33 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Next: You have to message them first to get their full profile. But you can't write what you want because you could be offensive. That's why you have to choose between several different sentences (chosen by the person that profile belongs to).

Also at certain days there are only men err trans 'women',enbies and other gender clowns visible because blah blah marginalized minorities...blah blah transphobia....

Also you have to message at least 3 men err trans 'women' a month our you get banned because transphobia.

What a nightmare. Of course I DON'T want this to happen but this fucking App is 100% going to do more ridiculous horseshit to cater to the trans circus.

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'll never understand how pronouns are supposedly more fundamental information on a person that their sexual orientation, especially on a fucking dating app!

Especially on a supposed "lesbian" dating app. Isn't the whole point that you don't have to walk on eggshells and wonder if the woman is gay? The whole point of a lesbian dating app is that sex and sexual orientation to females should be a given! Not some verboten concept you have to use silly, woque euphemisms for! Like "queer" or whatever that are serve no purpose and give no information.

[–]just_lesbian_things 18 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

And it's a dating app. The interaction is one-on-one. When would you use third person pronouns?

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They really do seem like the thought-police. They want to control what pronouns you use while you think of them.

[–]censorshipment 20 insightful - 6 fun20 insightful - 5 fun21 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Aww I've always felt so bad for normal lesbians who have to resort to using dating apps. I personally don't use them because I have issues and need to be single (😄) ...I wish other people were as self-aware so normal lesbians wouldn't have to wade through ridiculousness. Wasn't HER supposed to be a more "high-end" app?

[–]Seahorse 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

To be fair most transwomen are clocked from Jupiter anyhow but yeah it seems they've doubled down on their fuckery.

They've been a laughing stock for a while now.

I'm really glad I'm taken, being a lesbian solely looking for other lesbians seems to be close to impossible these days.

[–]No_ 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It is.. much easier to pretend im bi and go back to 1900 when lesbians married men. At least I wont be hacked by an axe by an angry mob, just by a lone man maybe.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Back then it was considered normal and a sign of being a good, pious woman to not be interested in sex (and just put up with it once in a while for the sake of the husband or to have kids.) I wonder if lesbians who were forced to marry men back then weren't secretly very happy when the men started cheating on them and no longer wanting sex from them. I really wonder if entire generations of "Frigid" women weren't just lesbians hiding for their own safety?

[–]No_ 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

If i found a man i could be open with about being lesbian, id let him sleep with other consenting women.

[–]Shales123 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

In the religious ̶c̶o̶m̶m̶u̶n̶i̶t̶y̶ cult that I come from, I heard a rumor that there's a matchmaker who secretly matches lesbians with gay men into sexless marriages. Personally I find the concept depressing, but for people who can't/won't leave the cult, i guess it's better than the alternative

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Try match.com they're more serious women there. Older.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I havent tried that one but I wanted to try PinkSofa, simply because it had older women which would hopefully have an idea of what they wanted/who they were, but they've recently stated that the site is for 'lesbians and their friends'.

[–]PasLagardere 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Tinder has always worked way better for me than Her.

First of all the Her app sucks, it’s very glitchy. Second of all it seems to be me more about anything except lesbians/bisexuals.

[–]SapphicFox 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lchat is a sausage fest nowadays. I left a negative review on the google play store essentially saying that if they want a mixed sex app at least be honest about it and dont waste the time of actual lesbians just because you want to make money.

[–]Shales123 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They used to have an option to report cis het men but that option was recently removed.

Additionally, one of the mods, "Bryleigh" is a middle aged dude with male pattern baldness who posts pictures with "her" bulge visible, and wrote that "she" doesn't plan to remove "her" penis. He is one of the most ghastly looking transbians I've ever seen, the first time I saw his photo I gagged involuntarily. This is what it's come to. The only lesbian dating app is moderated by an autogynephile. Sad