all 68 comments

[–]julesburm1891 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (17 children)

In order of knowing them:

1.FTM. She’s a childhood friend of my sister who came from a well-to-do family. When she was 13, she confided in my sister that her cousin raped her. She said her parents didn’t believe her and told her to stop telling lies. She had a number of mental issues in high school and had to be hospitalized a few times. She then came out as a lesbian in college and finally seemed to be at peace/have confidence. (Her parents were furious.) A few years later she came out very abruptly as trans and got top surgery. She looks as awkward and unhappy as she did as a teenager. But her parents seem to be happier having a “straight” son than a lesbian daughter.

  1. FTM gayden. I know her through a friend. The first time we met she was bragging and laughing about recently being arrested for drunk driving. She’s a pothead in her mid-30s who still doesn’t hold down a job. She often posts pictures of herself at gay men’s leather events and seems to enjoy having her tits out. Weirdly enough, she’s also a satanist who posts about that frequently too.

  2. MTF. He was a patron that would come into my work dressed inappropriately, corner female staff members, and ask us if we liked his outfits. By inappropriate, I mean his regular getup was fishnets, heels, an anime schoolgirl skirt, halter tops, and a giant bow atop his balding head. The guy was in his 50s.

  3. MTF transbian. He’s a super obvious AGP. Where to begin on this? He’s nearly 40, is unemployed, lives off his parents, and is a complete stoner. I could go on for a while here but I’ll just give you a few samples of things I personally heard come out of his mouth. “I want my girlfriend to get an undercut so she looks like more of a lesbian.” “The first thing I did when I came out was paint my nails. It’s just a big part of being a woman.” “I’m the L and the T. I’m half the damn acronym so I know what’s up.”

  4. MTF. This guy was an on-again, off-again homeless man who would frequently come to my work (library). He was so creepy that we’d all call “not it” when he came in. He’s currently in jail for attacking a nurse and permanently blinding her.

[–]BEB 24 insightful - 3 fun24 insightful - 2 fun25 insightful - 3 fun -  (8 children)

I wish that all the trans maidens screaming about how trans-identified males are only in bathrooms to pee, and that women who object to the presence of males in our intimate spaces are prudes and bigots, could meet some of these autogynephiles (AGPs) like the ones I've seen and the ones you're describing.

Not just meet, I want to lock the trans maiden in a bathroom with an AGP for an hour and see if they still believe the "I just wanna pee" myth when I let them out.

[–]julesburm1891 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I’m sure there are some well-adjusted trans people out there who really do want to just mind their business and get on with their lives. However, that doesn’t change that there are a lot of bad actors who are using this as a shield for predatory behavior. People need to understand that aspect before making blanket statements about how it’s just about “equal rights.”

[–]BEB 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What's weird is that I've spent a lot of time in countries in which gay men are forced or encouraged to transition, so I can usually clock a trans-identified male, but I had never seen one in public in the US, outside of gay bars, until maybe 6-7 years ago.

[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

Not just meet, I want to lock the trans maiden in a bathroom with an AGP for an hour and see if they still believe the "I just wanna pee" myth when I let them out.

Let's not wish violence on those people. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I agree that it is extremely frustrating when some people deny or downplay the predatory elements in the transgender movement, though.

[–]BEB 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm not wishing violence on anyone (my other activism is the anti-war movement) - I just want trans maidens to see that far from being harmless, some of these men who claim to be women are quite...unsound.

It's telling, though, that your mind immediately jumped to violence (I'm not saying this to disparage you!!!) because it indicates that those of us who are aware of the full range of trans-identified male behavior know that some are dangerous, and that they want to do far more than "just wanna pee."

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Gotcha, makes sense.

It's telling, though, that your mind immediately jumped to violence (I'm not saying this to disparage you!!!) because it indicates that those of us who are aware of the full range of trans-identified male behavior know that some are dangerous, and that they want to do far more than "just wanna pee."

Hah, that's a fair observation. I mean, I have met multiple transwomen and almost all of them, to a man, were quite verbally aggressive and sometimes even made physical threats (not related to gender identity topics, just during the course of conversation!). And those people were not even the creepy ones, just plain aggressive.

[–]BEB 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

All the ones I've interacted with so far left me unsettled except one: he was an older gay black man who'd been cast out by his devoutly Christian family in the US South for being gay. I felt really sorry for him, because he seemed a gentle soul. I just wish he'd been allowed to be a proud gay man.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If they genuinely want to just pee, then the woman would be safe, would she not?

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I feel bad for the first FTM, because her parents are just awful. The second FTM is a narcissist, but I blame the gay men's leather events for allowing her to participate.

The first MTF is a creep. Looks like someone who’d get hit on by a gay man with low standards if said gay men had a cross dressing fetish. The second MTF reminds me of Dayton HyperNova. Like Dayton, this MTF is middle age, mooches off his parents who should be enjoying their retirement, and is a narcissist. This is why I wouldn’t let a stoner live in my house. I’m glad that the third MTF is in jail. I’m glad that all of the transgenders I’ve encountered so far are boring.

[–]julesburm1891 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Dude, I feel bad for her too. My mom and I were actually talking about her on Tuesday. My mom said that, when we were kids, all of the other moms thought her mom was a nutcase and a bitch. Apparently, she would always talk down about her own daughter to other adults. The whole situation is so fucked and I genuinely feel awful for her.

Yeah, the rest of these people I’ve met were all kind of shitty. It’s definitely what changed my perspective.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I hope that poor woman manages to get away from her wicked mother’s influence.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

OMG, he blinded a nurse. How?

[–]julesburm1891 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t want to give away exact details as that could pinpoint my city. Basically, he was on a court-ordered psych ward stay. The nurse was checking his vitals and he stabbed one of her eyes out completely with an everyday item. He proceeded to beat the shit out of her (mostly in the head) until other staff members could get in and stop him.

This surprised no one at my library when we saw it on the news.

[–]Femaleisnthateful 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I used to work in a library. I'm glad I don't any more. Dealing with creepy men was difficult enough when we weren't expected to cater to their personality disorders. I'm told the gender woo-woo has fully infiltrated public libraries (no surprise, they've always had leftist 'social justice' philosophies that were divorced from reality).

[–]julesburm1891 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You’ve missed nothing since you left, my dude. Gender woo-woo is everywhere. The creepy male patrons haven’t been dealt with. We’re essentially being asked to be social workers instead of librarians. I’m seeing librarians irl promote censorship because things offend their woke sensibilities. Oh, and there’s this kind of disturbing trend in both children’s and YA services and publishing to make everything hyper-SJW and far left politics.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, half of any new book releases for kids or ya has to be about some kind of minority or protected class, but it's completely out of proportion to their population. Not to mention any book that's about someone who is neuroatypical is usually about how great it is that they're so quirky, how their difference is so goddamn neat, but it usually glosses over the worst parts or the ugly parts of the condition, or completely misunderstands them. Unless you've actually had the condition, it's very difficult to accurately portray the overwhelming nature of overstimulation, the anger at the lack of understanding you have of basic human behaviours despite everyone else innately knowing them, the way meltdowns feel on the inside (not a description of what others see and do as a result of it).

Most woke SJW intersectional books are written by virtue signallers and people looking to hop on a trend, nothing more.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I've only seen or met them in passing. The one I spent a longer period of time with needed constant validation, took them a good hour to be convinced that it's fine for them try on female clothing in a dressing room, and it was clear it was an act for attention more than anything.

There's more and more MtFs going out and about in terribly ill-fitting clothes, and whenever I've had contact with them (at work, etc.), they've often got too close (like right next to me, a foot away at most), despite COVID social distancing guidelines, despite the fact that I don't want anyone in my personal space at the best of times. The older ones, 40+, would always get too close. It sickens me that I have to validate their fetish in the name of social nicety.

[–]lavender_menace 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Why do you? You deserve to be comfortable first before spending your resources on someone else.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I work in the public sector and it's not worth my time, energy and image to be 'rude' to them by saying they're too close or making me uncomfortable by being so close, especially since they're known to be quite loud and unpleasant if anything is said them.

[–]lavender_menace 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ugh. Sorry you are forced to do that 😕

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Hm, let's see. There was the creepy criminal MTF cousin of my first boyfriend who had molested him as a child and multiple other relatives as well. There was the MTF psychopath who murdered a suicidal young gay man. Actually spent some years in prison for it and was boohooing about the possibility of not being able to take hormones while inside. There was the pair of MTFs who moved in next door to a good friend and made her life a fucking misery for foolishly being kind to them. I did try to warn her. There was the MTF I thought was actually petty sane at first who kidnapped a young guy who didn't want to fuck him any more. There's the pink angora sweater obsessed pathological liar who got a job under false pretences and then sent an email to everyone at work just knowing we'd all want to hear "Kaarin's" story, a concoction of easily disprovable lies about how he started a very well known magazine. There's the AGP brother of my sadly deceased good lesbian friend who came out after her death and then pursued me relentlessly for contact, somehow believing I owed him something because of our connection via his sister. I feel devastated for his gorgeous wife and their kids. And there's the FTM who was in a lesbian relationship but is now a gay bear. Go figure. But at least she's a decent human being and not a Cluster B nightmare. That's just some of them.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)


[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I've known two transmen in my life. One was a student, another a colleague. I didn't know either one very well but they both seemed like decent people. They both passed well enough (even though subtle cues might give them away as XX) and I think they were trying to live as unobtrusively as possible.

I don't know any transwomen although people I know have told some stories. To be honest they all seem like trainwrecks from the stories I've heard.

[–]theytookourjerbsXX only. 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Same boat as you. I've known 2 transmen and they're just trying to live their lives. Pretty nice people. I don't know any transwomen, but the ones online are nuts.

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I actually just remembered last night that I do know somebody who is a FB friend, somebody I friended almost a decade ago after working on a project together, now identifies as a trans-woman. And yes this person is a train wreck, regularly posting memes that relate to paraphilias.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (21 children)

I know two MTFs. The first one was someone I meet at an LGBT society in college. He was chill and laidback in real life. But his Facebook feed is full of rants as of the last time I checked, and he clearly did not get along with his family. I don’t know where he’s at now, as I haven’t spoken to him in years. I hope he’s doing well.

The second one is a neighbour who came out as trans recently. Really nice person, but we don’t interact with each other that much, except to say hello whenever we cross paths on the street.

Your step cousin sounds like someone who should be in a cell.

[–]BEB 21 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 2 fun -  (19 children)

I want to meet a nice trans-identified male to ask them what exactly it feels like to feel like you're a woman.

Like, I've been a woman for decades now, through no choice of my own (thanks, Dad's Fastest Sperm) and it's been kind of F-ing hellish at times, but I have no sense of myself as feeling like a woman.

I share experiences related to our female bodies with other women, and life experiences too (harassment, assault, menstruation, etc.), and I think that there's a certain underlying understanding that women have of each other that men don't (same with men and each other) but I don't know if all that constitutes a feeling that one can opt into.

I would really like to know how trans-identified males think women feel. And then how they think they feel it too.

[–]kwallio 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

If you haven't checked out you probably should. For most of them they're AGP. What they think about women is mostly a porn-addled sterotype.

[–]BEB 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks! I will bookmark it.

I was just trying to explain autogynephiles (AGPs) on s/SuperStraight, but their existence sounds so crazy to normies, it's good that there's a site documenting their antics.

[–]SerpensInferna[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

He is, thankfully.

[–]deliciousdogfoodmy name isnt a puppyplay reference i swear 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I watched one I used to know irl freak out at their family on facebook. The family were trying to be supportive but the trans was freaking the fuck out over any acknowledgement that they were born male.

[–]censorshipment 12 insightful - 7 fun12 insightful - 6 fun13 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

I grew up seeing trans folks as gnc. My mom had gay male friends who were gnc/transvestites. They always seemed happy, funny and friendly. Many died of AIDS during the 90s, such as one of my mom's hairstylists... I remember his friends, including my mom, were pissed that his family buried him in a men's suit.

I had a friend who was a gnc/trans gay male. He was very small, like 5'2 and 100lbs. I felt like I was his big butch lesbro and protected him from homophobes. Until he invited his abusive boyfriend over to my place and got fucked in my bed. Haven't spoken to him in over 10 years.

I live in a conservative state where trans folks don't really have a voice. Republicans do a good job at shutting them up. I don't feel like that affects me as a gnc lesbian... I've always felt like Republicans don't really care if I'm gnc as long as I don't identify as a man. It's actually Democrats who push this agenda that gnc = trans.

[–]BEB 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Never gotten to know one, or even close, probably because for 90% of my life, trans wasn't a thing. But I've seen a bunch of trans-identified males in public in the last seven or so years, and they've all seemed off, to very off.

A few frightened me. One in the women's bathroom at an airport, and one who came to my door soliciting for a charity.

The first was acting crazy, and all the women in the toilet were scared but at least there were a lot of us. It was in a state that had already passed self-ID, so we couldn't legally kick him out of the women's bathroom, although I doubt anyone but me would have even known the law. We just didn't want to mess with the crazy man.

The second looked like the Child Catcher from Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang and was dressed and made up like some kind of horror show crazed version of a cross-dressing serial killer.

I told him truthfully that I had supported the charity for decades, but he wouldn't take "no" for an answer. Luckily, there was a handyman on the property, who came up to see what was going on, or I would have been truly frightened.

The others were disconcerting. For whatever reason, all except two were extremely tall, even without the heels they were wearing. It's jarring for me to see a man dressed and made up like a woman in person, but I've read that this is actually a common reaction.

Anyway, even though it is disconcerting, I couldn't care less if a man wants to LARP as a woman, go to town, just stay away from our private spaces, and leave our rights, our definitions and our sports alone.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Only know one. Who is homosexual dude, who was naturally very effeminate even as a kid. That's natural feminity. I'm sad he couldn't just be a gay dude, though.

[–]dreamgermsbisexual nightmare 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have a very good friend who is FtM. He transitioned like fifteen years ago, before any of the TRA and gender identity stuff was mainstream and insane. He’s a good person, and while he has some issues, it’s not even in the same ballpark as the crazy I see online now.

[–]latuspodSuper Straight 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Only one I knew well enough to judge was a co-worker, a transman and I got along with she well. She was pretty down to earth. Though I always felt that her desire to be a man was probably a result of gender norms and growing up in a culture that wasn't friendly towards homosexuals.

[–]JulienMayfair 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

  1. Was an FTM I knew in graduate school during the transition. In a way, it kind of made sense since he was the most mannish-looking lesbian I've ever seen to this day. This was in the 1990s, way before any of the current craziness, so I just sort of went along with it and the name change. He had a rough time adjusting to testosterone and experienced a lot of rage associated with it. I lost touch with him for a while after graduating, but I later found out that he committed suicide.

  2. Was a MTF I met through a mutual friend. She passed pretty well, but I figured it out due to her being too tall and her shoulders being too wide. She was older and definitely homosexual transsexual. After getting to know her socially, she admitted to me that she regretted transitioning, especially the surgery, but felt like there was no going back. I liked her and had no issues with her.

  3. Was an MTF I had to work with volunteering for the local Democratic Party in 2018. This was the one that really peaked me because he was so clearly a man in a dress with no social skills who constantly talked about his various mental illnesses and creeped people out. I had to work a poll greeting shift with him, and he would loom over people and make them uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure he did us more harm than good.

[–]lavender_menace 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I lived my life without knowing any. And then a couple of years back, when I was still frequenting the BDSM community I met a lot of them on an youth event. 10:1 Male:Female ratio. I spoke closely with one of them and he was excited about the prospect of SRS and dilation. I don’t think he thought it through properly though.

[–]fuck_reddit 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know a MTF and a FTM. The FTM was my friend in HS. Came out as Lesbian, had a rough relationship with her father. Now she claims she’s a “gay man.” Last I heard she was trying to make a Grindr. Left a really bad feeling in my gut, both at her apparent “conversion” and her invasion of gay male areas. The FTM is all kinds of mentally fucked up. My bf’s friends and I (I know of the guy through them) regularly discuss what’s causing the sudden transition. It’s clearly deeply affecting his wife and daughter. It’s apparently a massive publicity stunt, since his business failed and he’s been living off of PPP loan money. This guy really concerns me. He is nowhere close to passing and his body is all kinds of fucked up by estrogen already. Basically everyone has cut him, his wife, and daughter off as much as we can since he’s being way too “open” about his transition.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know of 3 total...maybe 4, but 4th doesn't really count.

1st one was in college, was an obvious MtF, but he was okay. Didn't really know him well, always tried to make sure I advoided words like "dude" or "man", even though that's part of my colloquial speech. I guess I was being too over polite...Didn't really see him much.

Then the second is my cousin(MtF) in his 30s that I grew up with. I found out through his best friend who confided in me that cousin was transitioning. We were both against it and worried for him... I haven't talked to my cousin in years, we had a fall out. Long story short, my uncle invited me to live in his place rent free(his words) but then they treated me like their maid while I clean their house and cook them food with those lazy bums sitting and watching TV all day and eating junk food. They said they were going to help me find a job there--was the whole reason why I came, and they basically told me the equivalent of "go work at Mcdonald's" while they helped my oldest brother get a good job where my uncle works---my brother made about triple the pay I made. I moved out, found my own job, and they called me ungrateful, so MtF cousin decided to send me a LONG text message telling me how "ungrateful" I am.

Now I work a much better job, good pay, and have my own family. I don't talk to hardly any of my family because it's a headache, however I digress.

3rd trans was another MtF but my boss. He was an arrogant, anime-obsessed, and "never wrong" type of guy. Just more headaches. He acts like he's all that and talks about "strong female" characters in movies/shows he like as though he is female. Has a wife on the autistic/asperger's spectrum(his words), and has a sidechick girlfriend too. Believes in witchcraft...has a youth LGBTQIA+ group he runs...

Finally, the 4th trans MtF...not sure if this's my partner's stepbrother whom I never met in real life. My stepMiL is completely AGAINST his transitioning and still calls him her son. He actually has a female name at birth---his mom liked the idea of giving a feminine name to her son and a masculine name to her daughter(if she were to have one) because it's unique in her eyes---is basically what she said. So I guess stepBiL could technically get away with his name...He was actually a pretty clean and handsome dude before the transition. I don't know him well though, just saw pictures from stepMiL. My partner doesn't really know him either, when their parents got together his stepbrother was already grown and doing his own thing. He did meet him once before transition during his dad and stepmom's wedding, that's about it.

Edit: word

[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Wrote a whole long comment and then my phone died, lol.

So I was thinking about all the trans I've actually known, not with the intent to complain but just sort of taking a mental inventory. And all in all, it has not been a terribly favorable experience. There almost always seems to be other major issues going on.

This has been my experience as well. Almost all of the transgender people I've met seemed to have one of the following (or occasionally, both??):

  1. on the spectrum (ASD)

  2. narcissistic traits

I've met, talked to, and used to be friends with probably over a dozen trans people (and used to be pretty close friends with at least three). Here are a few:

  • FtM, heterosexual - She was only attracted to men but told me she was "biromantic" because she liked to cuddle with girls, but not do anything sexual with them. Self-described as "nonbinary" when I was friends with her but thought she might be a "soft gay trans boy" and later identified as a trans boy. I know this sub likes to beat up on yaoi fetishists, and for good reason, but she was genuinely a kind person-- just very, very gullible. Complained often about having an overly sensitive sense of smell and hearing. At the time, those traits and others made me wonder whether she might be on the spectrum but didn't know it. (Now, I really think that might have been the case, having seen research on the prevalence of ASD traits among trans people.) Often ignored by people in social situations because they thought she was weird or uncool.

  • MtF, heterosexual? - Guy who seemed to only date or be interested in women. Made some sexist jokes about women that really surprised me at the time, and I kinda avoided him after that. Very passive aggressive, and would talk shit about people behind their backs. A lot of people avoided him but I think it was mostly because of his passive aggression-- everybody was very supportive of his transgender identification and all called him "she" (myself included, I was passively drinking the koolaid at the time). A friend and I speculated that he might have some sort of cluster B personality disorder.

  • FtM, not sure what sexual orientation? - Girl who was diagnosed with ASD (on the spectrum), and self-described as being "nonbinary" before asking to be called by male pronouns. Seemed to believe in neopronouns, and be very into Tumblr. Was described as a "space cadet" by many people, and unfortunately some girls avoided her because they thought she was weird. She was one of the nicer trans people I've met, and passionate about random interests like art and stuff, which made her fun to talk to sometimes. But I once got put with her on a project and she did like nothing lol, so that sucked.

  • MtF?, gay/bisexual - He seemed to only date men before identifying as transgender, but when I got to know him better (after he starting self-describing as trans), he said he was attracted to "masculine" people and included men as well as transmen and women in that, so I guess bisexual? He was bullied a ton for being a feminine guy, growing up, and seemed very bitter about it. Very charismatic person, could turn the charm on when he wanted, but was also passively and sometimes openly aggressive; extremely narcissistic. I had a couple of coworkers approach me separately about him saying that they felt afraid of him.

  • MtF, heterosexual? - Guy who asked to be referred to as "it" for his pronouns. I'm not even joking. To be fair, I have met and talked to over a dozen trans people IRL and he's the only one who had something other than he, she, or they as his requested pronouns, so it's not that common, but STILL. No fucking way am I referring to another human being as "it," that's fucked up. Struck me as the AGP type, but I stopped hanging out with him when he started asking people to call him "it," so I don't know for sure.

Those are just a few, I can share more stories if anyone's curious.

edit: Also I am so, so sorry to hear about your step-cousin and that side of the family, that's horrifying.

[–]SerpensInferna[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Also I am so, so sorry to hear about your step-cousin and that side of the family, that's horrifying.

Thank you, it was awful. He was always kind of a strange and socially awkward but nice enough guy, we weren't close but spent time together at family gatherings. He came out as gay, then a few years later said he was trans. He remained strange and socially awkward. I only met his "girlfriend" once at a family function, and they stood in a corner and were weird and off-putting the whole time. It wasn't too long after that they were arrested for CP. Then it came out that he had been molested by a neighbor as a child and he himself had assaulted children.

I had a bit of distance from the situation, but it was brutal for his immediate family.

He also worked in tech, so we can add that to list of trans similarities, I guess.

[–]reluctant_commenter 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No problem, that truly is messed up to witness. Those are indeed some striking similarities. Hope his family members find some peace eventually.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am from pretty conservative country, which is moving more progressive, so all transgender people I know are 40-50 years old transsexuals, all homosexual and with very deep self-homophobia. Around 6-8 MtF and just one FtM.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Of the two people who transitioned (as opposed to having a special gender identity): - One was MTF non-binary who probably has aspergers (and some other learning disability) and some mild agp. He seems like a nice person, really shy. I didn't get creepy vibes from him and he doesn't do anything that's inappropriate. I think his bigger problems are finding work in a crap economy and being a bit of an odd duck. I think he'll be alright he just needs some help to get him going. Unfortunately spending all you're time on discord and tumblr isn't going to get you where you need to be. - Former co-worker who is FTM and was a lesbian. I didn't really know her but she was pretty normal, had a good job etc. Just very butch.

There were another couple of people who were non-binary and I don't think they transitioned. One is female, has aspergers and was very into tumblr culture. She's grown up and gotten a full-time job and thinks gender "who is that" (going off her facebook posts). She was really into social justice and started a social group for people with disabilities at my college. Like, good on her. When I met her I thought she was genuinely a nice person although sometimes a bit much for me (people who are activists are a lot to handle for me lol). The other one was just very depressed, 30s and didn't have anything going on in his life (no job, lived at home).

So I guess the lesson of the story is that mental health care and helping people with mild ASD or whatever other learning disability is important.

[–]Gender_Critical 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I didn’t really have a strong opinion of trans people one way or the other until I had the misfortune of dating a gender-appropriating male for over a year, so I got a front row seat of the trans community.

This person was 100% an AGP and said that imagining himself in boobs was a turn on - yeah, really like a real woman! This person also has a host of mental issues such as Aspergers and was in and out of the mental hospital while we were together.

What pisses me off is that he currently is gaslighting everyone to say that he was born with XX chromosomes. I’ve asked a medical doctor about this and she says this is basically impossible unless he was born with Klinefelter’s syndrome, which he doesn’t have since he is not intellectually disabled. I don’t understand why he cares about his chromosomes or what other people say if he knows deep down that he identifies as a female?

This person has made a bunch of questionable life decisions, such as going into sex work despite therapists advising him that it is bad for his mental health and making a bomb threat. He has marketable skills so it’s bit like he can’t do anything else.

This person has also more recently admitted that he was sexually abused by his father as a child which is fucking heartbreaking. Even he admits that that might have caused him to be trans.

[–]MisandryFTW 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I know a LOT of trans folks. Many are my exes, many are in my friend group. Probably around 1/3 of my friends are trans spectrum and you might be surprised with this number. It's because around 1/3 of my friends have ASD (I do too) and nearly all are heavily involved in the BDSM and "queer" community. Around 2/3 of the people I know who identify as lesbian were born men, and many of the ones born female now identify as trans men or use he/him pronouns.

Disclaimer, these are all my own observations based on around 30-40 trans folks I know personally, some closer than others. They skew towards BDSM, STEM, and ASD, so might not represent the population at large. I'm using "they" for everyone because I personally think gender is harmful, but feel free to use whatever pronouns for anyone if you comment on my post.

  • All but two have ASD, many have it severe enough they are on disability for it.
  • Many of the trans women have BPD.
  • All have a variety of mental health problems (although this is true of most of my friends so isn't really a distinction).

Among 3 trans men:

  • one identifies as gay "only attracted to cis men" and has been told multiple times to leave me alone (I'm a female lesbian) and it isn't okay to grab me in a sexual way. They reply "I'm not attracted to you so it's fine." and everyone keeps having to intervene saying how I have PTSD and you can't grope people who don't consent to it. I actively avoid events they go to. They were part of a poly group and dating my partner at the time so I couldn't avoid them when that was happening.
  • one identifies as a lesbian even though they transitioned. Their autistic special interest in penises and they will not shut up about them. Even though they identify as a man and now look like a man, they organize and go to all women events and hit on lesbians pretty aggressively while talking non-stop about penises and their penis collection.
  • one is not autistic and a really nice person. They have a lot of body issues and have been pressured into identifying as queer and dating males who present as males. They now go by he/him because they're butch.

Among the many trans women:

  • one is not autistic and is attracted to men exclusively. They have similar hobbies to me and we get along okay, mostly because they aren't attracted to me. They are SUPER involved in TRA and do a lot of work in the community.
  • most of them are autistic middle aged men on disability who just got out of a marriage to a woman and identify as lesbians now. They are all into having a mommy-dom who will beat them and change their diapers. Most of them also identify as cats and children and all want to be pegged. None of them will date each other or bisexual women because it "isn't validating enough". They loudly complain about how it isn't fair "actual lesbians date each other because there aren't enough of them to go around" and how women only events are "such a sausagefest". While they feel entitled to lesbians, they are mostly just super socially awkward and do not grope or touch anyone without their permission. Many have a lot of personal information online and share photos of their bottom surgeries and a LOT of details about their sex lives.
  • many of them are males who identify as "genderqueer" or "genderfuck" or "male lesbians" and these are the predators of the community. None of them have physically or socially transitioned. They often present as "butch" and have full on beards. They know all the "queer theory" and use social pressure to force (usually underage) lesbians into being sexual with them. Some of them are outright pedophiles, while others are just opportunistic. I have been sexually assaulted and raped by them a lot, starting when I was underage. This was the main reason I peaked. They are leaders in the community and tech-bros. They are charismatic and loved and you get called bigoted if you speak up about sexual assault.

[–]AnokiFrench 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

One of my dear friends , a really nice girl , wanted To become a man , because she felt like it, when she had not expressed any interest in becoming one before, only dressing tomboyish, and my ex the man who likes to wear dresses and think he is a cute girl , when it’s not the case , encouraged her , and same ex wanted to have a girls night with him and my female friends, I’m worried for my dear friend , I’m sure she is just following a trend, and did not have great advice

[–]Bright_paintingLoad, lesbian biologist 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have meet two. One nonbinary person and one MTF.

The nonbinary person is actually one of the sweetest and kindest persons I have ever known. She is very aware that she is female and that she can't chance it, so her non-binary identity is more something that she uses to explain why she's feeling so uncomfortable with being a woman. I think that her distress is caused by living in a society that devalues women, but we have decided to agree to disagree on that question. We are friends regardless. We both know that the other have faults, but we chooses to see past them.

The MTF however, is one of the scariest people I have ever meet. I was 18 and working as a mentor at a summer school. My "students" were three 13-15 year old girls that quickly became friends. One day, they need to leave a few minutes early to catch a bus. As they walk out of the building, the MTF (who worked as a "guard" of sort) chased them and screamed really unpleasant things after them. As you might imagine, this made the girls terrified. They had all gone through more or less trauma and he triggered very unpleasant memories. I spent the next week or so tiptoeing around the building to make sure my students were safe. At last I couldn't do it anymore. I told my boss and she fired him. He never knew that it was me who told on him, but I was so scared what would happen if he found out. If you use your position of power to scare the shit out of little girls, what would you do towards a young woman who just got you fired?

[–]UselessThought 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In my 20's you could call me a TRA now (Ex- TRA) I use to work at a LGBT clinic and had many interactions with Trans people, Some were fine, some were sad some were insane. I guess my breaking point was when I got fired from my volunteer job at the LGBT clinic for refusing to go on a date with a client ( which is so unprofessional) because they were FTM.

Fucking hell

[–]milknciggiesLGBToxic 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Surprisingly, I know 2 trans people who I have respect for, although I was never super close to them.
One MtF, who used to be my art teacher. Quiet person, quite talented and all in all normal. A FtM who I met pre transition, lost touch with for some time, then reconnected via social media when he messaged me to let me know he had transitioned. Also very normal. Both the kind that didn't want to move the world around them to accomodate them, but more so looking to blend in, have normal jobs, etc.
Another FtM I met, who was transitioning and then killed herself. She had huge drug problems and one day overdosed. I did not know her too well either.
And lastly, my SiL. Hasn't quite come out yet, but it's sort of a open secret. This person I have the most interaction with on a daily basis and I absolutely despise her. Spoiled, deranged, vile person whose online persona shows nothing of what she's truly like. I seriously believe she wants to come out as trans for the immunity it would give her, instead of seeking self improvement and mental help. She'd be excused of her behaviour and only become worse and worse.
Luckily I haven't been too much in direct contact with the dreadful people I see online, probably because I'm a bit of a hermit and don't go out much. I've stopped going to LGBT spaces a long time ago, as I feel the scene completely changed since I was young.

[–]CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My collection:

  1. FtM who was a part of my LGBT youth group back in 2010-11 in my hometown. She was dating this butch lesbian with down syndrome. She was adopted and claimed to have DID/MPD and that one of her alters was a gay man. Said alter latched on to me and made me feel super uncomfortable. She also made a lot of claims that she was able to pass as a boy because of how naturally masculine she was. Lost touch with her when I went off to university, but found her online and now she is entirely a "gay trans man."

  2. FtNB who was the lesbian with down syndrome that dated #1. I'm fairly sure she was groomed to transition by her ex because their relationship seemed extremely abusive even in the short time I knew them. Only saw her in passing a few years back, but she seemed as though she had been beaten down by life.

  3. MtFtMtF who used to perform as a drag queen at a local bar I frequented. Detransitioned then retransitioned before I met him. Was caught smoking crack with another performer before a pageant and was covertly disqualified (still allowed to perform onstage to avoid drama, but wasn't going to win at all). Forced himself on me when I was backed into a corner and then got mad because I didn't get hard. Was your typical HSTS who frequently denounced gay men as drug addicts and sexual predators while being exactly that himself. Got into prostitution, then briefly identified as a transbian, then back again to "straight woman."

  4. MtNB who weaseled his way into a major power position in the LGB(T) community of the city I used to live in. A self-described sociopath, he officially works for the local AIDS network, but has his hands in every possible cookie jar. Everyone thinks he's just a gay man because he's effeminate, but he has privately told me that he's really bi and doesn't correct people. He got himself involved in an event for lesbian and bi women in that city and turned it into a "queer women's" event (to include transbians) and it shut down after three bar nights. He's also told me that he actively works to alienate certain gay and bi men from accessing care at the AIDS network due to differences in political belief. He's involved with anarchist organizations in that city and pushed for Pride in the Park to be in a dangerous part of town rather than a safer one so as to purposefully put LGB and T people in danger to get attention and control narratives. He's made sure that anyone who runs anything LGB or T related is either his friend or someone he can blackmail.

  5. FtNB, one of #4's friends who runs that city's LGBT youth group. Has openly said she doesn't care about gay teens being taken advantage of by predators and doesn't believe in using her position to intervene or educate them about the short-term and long-term consequences.

  6. FtM, came in to the bathhouse I worked at with a presentation on why FtMs should be allowed in (with a gay male white knight as back up). Presented herself as fairly meek, but I would later find out she was directing her friends to launch a harassment campaign against the owner and the employees for "transphobia."