This is perhaps overly detailed, but I wanted to note some running themes in this account that we have all seen and discussed here pretty often, so those are written below.

Would recommend this, I've seen few articles about a LGB detransitioner and the impact of the whole process on their familial relationships. Really fascinating, very glad this woman shared her story. From the perspective of this woman's sister: it sounds like she's watching her sibling enter and leave a cult.

---

Themes in this detransitioner's account:

• Sexual harassment, multiple experiences

repeated, unwanted sexual attention from various men in my life, including men who had authority over me and men I had trusted and thought of as family.

• Discomfort with own body

The inner conflict from this was exacerbated by various factors, including something akin to body dysmorphia, depression...

• Same sex attraction

...and the realisation I was sexually attracted to other women

• Personality traits: timid, quiet, difficulty sharing one's emotions with others, believes that they might be "burdening" others by opening up

Being a quiet, timid teenager who was prone to feeling anxious in social situations, I found it difficult to tell others how I was feeling and I strongly opposed the idea of burdening others with my problems.

• Online exposure

...Immersed in online trans blogs, Youtube channels and forums, I was finally given a name for my distress: gender dysphoria.

• Suicidality

In the wake of this epiphany my mental health began to dramatically decline, culminating in a half-hearted suicide attempt in October 2012.

• Obsessive focus on transitioning

I’ve always been a planner. Every room in my house has little piles of notebooks with my various lists, important dates and projects scribbled in them. I viewed my transition like another one of my projects... I continued to obsessively view the blogs and vlogs of trans men who had had these procedures. My goal to transition became my sole purpose in life and I was absolutely certain it was the right thing for me – I’d never regret it. It was almost an obsession.

• Received no counselling prior to medical transition (occurred at Sandyford clinic in Glasgow).

During my one year wait I received no counselling or therapy, a fact I hid from my family. “I just assumed you were receiving therapy,” my sister says today.

• Rigidity of habit? (studies suggest that people who identify as transgender average higher on ASD traits)

I struggle when my day-to-day routine has to change too much.

• Substance abuse

The problem was that my day-to-day routine at the time consisted of waking up, drinking whatever was left from last nights binge, going out for more alcohol and then drinking as much as I could before passing out.

• Inadequate mental health support OUTSIDE of gender clinic:

Begrudgingly, I agreed to my family’s request and signed myself into the Gartnavel Royal Hospital’s psychiatric ward. However, I would not remain an inpatient for long. The staff on the ward at Gartnavel made me feel hopeless and intimidated. They were curt and condescending, snapping at me and the other inpatients as if we were petulant children.

• Inadequate mental health support INSIDE of gender clinic:

The specialist I was evaluated by was friendly and affirmative, never questioning or challenging my self-diagnosis of gender dysphoria. ... It was like he was simply ticking the boxes of a checklist, rather than making any real effort to figure out what was going on with me.

• Anger issues, threatened estrangement:

“Séan kept us all at arms’ length,” Andrea tells me. “You were aggressive and disrespectful once you got on testosterone. You had so much venom. I felt like any sisterly bond we once shared was gone. It was impossible to talk to you and when I tried, you refused to listen. ... We all grieved for the loss of Sinéad because any semblance of her was gone and in her place was a confrontational, unpredictable man who always seemed one step away from walking out of our lives and never looking back.”

And, my absolute favorite...

• Asked for help from therapists with detransitioning and processing the experience; received no help.

After more than a year of self-reflection, juggling my transition regret with my fear of detransition, and multiple useless sessions with counsellors who made it very clear that detransition was not a topic they were comfortable engaging with...

I even brought my best friend with me to one of my sessions – just to show someone else what it’s actually like – and even she, who had been pushing for me to give therapy a second chance was blown away by the lacklustre care given to detransitioners.

---

As her sister wisely puts it:

"...From the minute she starts to develop, a girl is sexualised and objectified and it’s not right. It shouldn’t happen, but it does. It makes perfect sense to me that the experiences you had in your teens onwards would make becoming Séan the perfect escape, especially since you were basically relying on online forums to diagnose you. I just wish I knew then what I know now so I could have done more. I feel like if you had turned to me instead of the internet then maybe we could have done some real soul searching and discovered how best to help you. Clearly affirming you as transgender and saying that transition is the best treatment was the last thing you needed to hear.”