Gay MenAnother gay man gone trans.

submitted by cutenoobies from self.LGBDropTheT

There was this nice man I knew from my university days when I was a student there. We were all in a Queer <university name> group, and as an immigrant it was a first exposure for me to be around so many gays and lesbians. This guy was a really sweet man at that time. We hung out a couple of times and I learned a lot from him. He was a proud gay man, and so was his bf at the time.

Recently he posted on his Instagram that he is transitioning with hashtags #queer #trans #nonbinary #transgirl #mtf.

And I just feel sad that gay men can't be proud of themselves and have to bow down to the trans ideology to feel comfortable in their skin.

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[–]howdidthishappen 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I feel you. It’s simply sad. My wife's the only other lesbian I know by now lmao. Meanwhile I know five trans men. I was close myself and really have no clue how exactly I snapped out of it.

[–][deleted] 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I think its much worse for lesbians compared to us gays imo. I keep seeing rants by lesbians about how everyone is transitioning in her friend circle, I don't think gay men have it THAT bad in regards to seeing their own getting transed en-masse

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

That's truth. I wonder why is havign such bigger effect on homosexual females.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's truth. I wonder why is havign such bigger effect on homosexual females.

I've been wondering this too (in horror and often despair); my best guess is that lesbians are under intensive attack from two different directions-- based not only on their sexuality, but on their femaleness.

In the latter case, I think it's about the relentless, cartoonishly-extreme gendering of childhood we've seen over the last few decades, as demonstrated in Peggy Ornstein's 2011 book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches From the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture. Kids have been growing up with a monolithic pink-is-for-girls/blue-is-for-boys worldview (driven by corporations/marketing), and because the female gender-role is much more elaborate and "showy", I think that this has hit girls especially hard. Crucially, it also involves heavy (and early) sexualization of girls, and in a very specific way: centering on male attention/approval.

So what girls-- including lesbians-- are learning is that femaleness = hyper-"femininity" and a sexuality that revolves around guys. Therefore, if you can't relate to either of these things... you must not be female at all.

I think there's also the fact that the most visible "lesbians" these days... ARE men: "transbians" :( Which probably just serves to reinforce the "lesbian = male" message that girls are already getting.

Does this analysis ring true for anyone else? Lesbians in particular?

[–]QueenBread 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's because women are more prone to be victim of social trends, and, in worst scenarios, of mass hysteria. Look up the recorded cases of mass hysteria and you'll find out the majority of the time it started and continued with women.

Women have a social and biological pressure to conform to standards of what a woman should look like, faaaaar more than men do. And this is true for any woman, including lesbians obviously.

[–]Kai_Decadence 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right I will agree. I think that while life can be pretty unforgiving to feminine gay men, especially if they are GNC in appearance, I think the transition lie is much worse with Lesbians. I was listening to another podcast of a detransitioned Lesbian who explained that she didn't know any other Lesbians growing up because all the ones who she met were all "identifying" as something other than Lesbians from "Transmen" to "non-binary" and I've heard similar stories like hers from other detransitioned Lesbians as well. It's awful...

[–]reluctant_commenter 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was close myself and really have no clue how exactly I snapped out of it.

Same here. Glad we both did.

I have met... 2 women who are female and homosexual who call themselves lesbians? And several more who don't call themselves that.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Glad you snapped out of it, because sex change operations are irreversible.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 19 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

It’s too late for him, unfortunately. This cannot be undone. And it will be all in vain, because no straight man is ever going to be willing to go on a date with him, and now that he’s transitioned, no gay man wants to date him either. He only has a proportion of the bisexual male population in his dating pool.

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This is a really important message and almost obvious quantitatively speaking. When gay men are deciding whether or not to transition, do they not stop and consider this issue, or are they lost in the dream of bagging a straight man (under the assumption that gay men are subpar)?

The most feminine gay man still has a decent "market" among other gay men, all other things being equal. But once you develop breasts and chop off the D, all of that market disappears. At the same time, no truly straight man is going to consider dating a transwoman long term (though f_ck & ch_ck is a possibility among some).

From a game theory perspective, this is a vastly inferior strategy. It only makes sense in the depths of a dreamworld fantasy.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Nah, straight men won’t even hookup with with a trans woman. Straight men really do not want penis, and they are not afraid to vocalise their objection to having sex with trans women. They want natural vaginas. And they will call any man who willingly sleeps with a trans woman gay or bisexual. So these gay men who want to become women don’t stand a chance.

I had an encounter on Reddit where a trans woman claimed that trans women are better off than gay men, and that "straight men are better than gay men". I flat out told him that straight men don’t want penises at all, and that all those "straight men" he’s banged were bisexual. He didn’t respond. I hope he’s doing okay and has found himself a nice, bisexual boyfriend.

[–]reluctant_commenter 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That is really rough to watch happen, I'm sorry. "Trans the gay away," as they say... except it never actually works, same-sex attraction can't be erased.

[–]Femaleisnthateful 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well, I hope he is able to feel comfortable in his own (surgically altered) skin. In my observation of watching MtF 'influencers' or personalities on YouTube, they seem deeply insecure and self-hating, obsessed with becoming a 'real woman' and with forcing others to perceive them as such, even when they don't pass or don't get SRS. There's one whose name I don't recall who used to post all these videos about catfishing straight men and then crying (literally) about the transphobia they experienced when the inevitable rejections came.

[–]RedJackalRampant homosexual 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This is something I just can't understand. I'm lesbian and I like women with vaginas. Should be a given, right? I take it that other lesbians also like women with vaginas, too. So why would they want a man with a vagina or a women with a penis?

[–]Kai_Decadence 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Short answer is that they don't, at least actual Lesbians anyway.

[–]Socialjustus 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The entire trans ideology preys on gay people not feeling comfortable in their own skin. It's conversion therapy, brought to you by Big Pharma.

[–]Kai_Decadence 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right but I think that we feminine gay men (especially GNC feminine gay men) and Butch Lesbians are the most susceptible to it unfortunately because society doesn't take too kindly to gender nonconformity.... It's already hard enough being Gay/Lesbian but add in nonconformity and it makes it even much more unforgiving at times.

[–]Kai_Decadence 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is so freaking depressing when it happens. I'm a feminine GNC gay man and I know that life can be so hard for GNC men, I'd argue even more than Masculine women because at least with masculine women, they had the butch community to seek solace and acceptance from. Meanwhile femininity in men is deemed one of the worst things a man can be and it's this kinda stuff that can make feminine men, especially feminine gay men think that the only way they can be themselves is if they "trans" out and buy into the lie that is Transgender ideology.

This is why I really want to get out there and at least show that a man can be feminine and nonconfomring and not have it be the end of the world even though I do face a lot of personal struggles for it. I want to believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel for guys like me/us.

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. It's so discouraging to see other gay people falling for the trans lie, whether it's because they're ashamed, gullible, mentally ill, etc. Do you still talk to him enough that you could reach out to him? If you feel comfortable doing this, you could talk to him about why he feels that way, and (gently) try to sow some seeds of doubt in gender ideology. Just a thought.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've seen an online friend also becoming trans recently (years ago there was nothing indicating that he felt like a woman) but how curious was how he posted a video of himself with other trans"women" like him. Not a social contagion... not at all.