RantLesbian in the middle of straight girl friends - wanted to cry

submitted by oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ from self.LGBDropTheT

Hello!

As probably several of you may already know through the presence of this sub, I'm a lesbian and today was an absolute depressing day for me. I went out with some friends of mine. I knew most of who was going or was invited, and it turned out the people who went were all females (which is unlikely, given that my degree is full of men) and, as far as I'm concerned, all straight. (Or, at most, bisexual, but I don't know). None of them, as far as I'm concerned, know I'm a lesbian.

It was absolutely overwhelming (in a negative way) to me since about 80% of the conversation ended up being about men. We were 5 women total. One of the girls I was meeting for the very first time. Now, don't get me wrong. I think they are ALL absolutely caring and sweet women, and I genuinely mean it. It has nothing to do with them exactly. It's the fact that I started feeling super alienated/not being able to relate and uninterested on the conversation on one hand and on the other hand, I started feeling super anxious and I like I wanted to get out asap. Afraid that they would ask me about boys and I was simply panicking tbh. It actually did happen fortunately only twice because they were so caught up on their own experiences and so on. But jeez, I was like "what the f*ck do I say to this girl I just meet? I have no idea if like this kind of guy or the other, because I simply cannot even understand what it's like to like a guy".

I ended up feeling like bursting into tears for a few hours, I know they could tell I was a bit "off" but as they're pretty caring people, they also didn't try to push it and sometimes they would ask I was okay. I ended up feeling awful for being such an awful company for them, but I just didn't know what to do. I honestly felt so out of place. If this is the first time I've felt like this as a lesbian? Absolutely not. But I wasn't with a only female group for quite a long time and I had forgotten how much they could talk about guys non stop and it hit me hard :(

I'm just looking for some support because I feel awful rn. If you managed to read it till the end, thank you.

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[–][deleted] 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

One of these days you're going to find yourself in the same situation, but when people turn to you to ask about guys, you'll just be able to casually remark, "Oh, me? I'm a lesbian." You'll get there.

Still won't help with 80% of the conversation being taken up talking about men, but as people get older, they gossip about this sort of thing less, often because they pair up.

Meanwhile, if you want to avoid these conversations with other women, make sure there's a guy who fancies women present.

Was your main concern being found out, or was it about trying to fit in? Not fit in insofar as being straight, but just trying to have a relatable friend group. That's kind of the same thing, but I think there's a nuance in there.

Definitely get yourself some friends right of Kinsey 0, the farther along, the better. My understanding of university LGBT/GSA groups is that they're taken over by the TQ crowd. Maybe your situation is different, but keep your guard up there. Also, beware the false intimacy of a shared Kinsey number. I've been burned there, where it's like, oh, this person and I share a sexuality, cool, they must understand all my struggles. Toxic people can be anywhere.

Learn how to clock people, and don't be afraid to give off some subtle flags yourself.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanksa lot, man. And for having faith in me that I'll start being more brave as well. My main concern was really a high desire to fit in and not being able to. To be honest, I didn't really mind if they found out, it was really tnconvenience of not being able to "be like them". Yeah it seems like I really need to meet some homossexual people like me. But I totally get you when you say toxic people are everywhere and not to be blind just because of sexuality. Thanks a lot<3 for real

[–]julesburm1891 17 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I don’t know if anyone will get what I’m saying, but I’ll try.

I feel like there are two types of conversations with straight women about men. The first is when she’s just talking about her life with her husband/boyfriend. That’s all fine and dandy. There’s nothing weird there and I don’t feel alienated. I just talk back about life with my partner and move on. I’d venture at least 85% of the conversations I have with straight women are of this type.

The second type, however, is some weird shit where she doesn’t really talk about anything she’s interested in or her life with a guy—it’s all about her existing as an entity in relation to a man or men, generally. I do find that to be not only isolating as a lesbian, but a little weird on the whole. Like, what are you supposed to say to someone who’s debating whether or not a guy would like this sundress or that sundress because she’s really not interested in “idk, just pick the one you like” but also you can’t ever possibly care what hypothetical dress a hypothetical man would like. (Longest run on sentence ever.) Or when someone goes on about how amazingly dreamy Chris Hemsworth (or whoever) is and you’re just there like “🤷🏻‍♀️I’ve only got eyes for Adèle Haenel but why are we talking about this so much.” Tbh, I would feel weird if I was talking to another lesbian and everything was about her girlfriend in that way.

Anyways, I have no idea if any of that made any sense. But, I hope your night gets better because you’re pretty fantastic.

[–]malloww 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, I get what you're saying. It's less like a conversation and more like a ritual that they want you to engage in together but you just really can't. Although personally I always kind of tried to, and generally made things hilariously awkward in doing so. Like picture me quizzing your hypothetical scenario woman about she thinks the man's favorite color or clothing manufacturer is, or awkwardly listing off the most popular male actors from the marvel franchise and saying that they also seem hot, like I'm the mom who learned that my teenage kid likes a certain musician so I went and googled them and memorized all of the related acts that came up in the hopes that I could somehow find a way to relate. It has a similar success rate as that too, tbh.

[–]julesburm1891 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

less like a conversation and more like a ritual.

Yes. That’s exactly it. It’s trying to get someone to engage in some social performance that they have zero interest in and it’s just awkward.

I have some friends who are serious Trekkies and, every once in a while, I get stuck in some loop like that about Star Trek. (I don’t like the franchise.) You either have to option to fake engagement, be an asshole and change the subject, or zone out. All of which suck. But, it’s so much more awkward when it’s about guys. Because I can’t and won’t fake enthusiasm about Chris Hemsworth’a biceps. But it’s also weird for me to try to talk about Adéle Haenel’s hips because the ritual is clearly not about talking about what you think is hot.

Idk. I usually just play with my phone or head to the bathroom during those times.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, you made perfect sense. One thing is women talking about their mundane life with their husbands, other is constantly talking about what they find hot or not about men and who they find more attractive or which they prefer and so on. I appreciate your insightful answer and thanks for the support!<3

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Yeah, the sense of alienation it's normal. Males as friends are better. They don't talk about men and you don't risk getting crushes on them.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Thanks for your answer. The problem is that in general have a hard time relating to guys too but not for the same reason of course. But usually because of interests. But I get what you're saying.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I have nerdy interest like gaming. You could try LGBT groups and finding gays or lesbians. Remind me when I was a teen I always said I wanted to stay single for life when girls talked about boys. Always found it annoying. These boys talk go away with age. But the sense of being different will always be there, because we're different, babe.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, that's my opinion as well. That what will help me is meet other gays and lesbians. I currently am not friends with any gay or lesbian (but I was in the past) and I think that's not helping at all. Thanks.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

have a hard time relating to guys too but not for the same reason

Males as friends are better.

I agree. Wait until you make a couple of guy friends you can, for example, talk about women with. That's always fun. Mine have never batted an eye about the fact they weren't talking to another guy (they weren't gross about or getting off on it either; it does matter that they're mature people). You are free to relate to men without the sexual dynamics that might creep in if you were a potential date. I live in a pretty lefty place and have yet to meet a guy who couldn't roll with having openly L/B women friends. They're out there. Perhaps you'll find some that share mutual interests (other than women).

[–]MyLongestJourney 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (21 children)

Can not relate OP. I have no problem when in heterosexual company to listen to heterosexual people talking about their opposite sex partners and their children. I have no problem to share their joys and their sorrows and even offer some advice.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Lmao I also have no problem in listening and giving advice. I have problem because I feel like I don't belong there lmao and have trouble engaging because they expect me to like guys.

[–]MyLongestJourney 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Then tell them the truth,that you are gay.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

There was one girl I met for the first time and another one I still barely knew her. Sometimes you don't feel comfortable enough to do it. Got it?

[–]MyLongestJourney 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Tell them later.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

🤣🤣🤣 No sh*t, Sherlock. I know you probably have good intentions and all and even seem like a good person, but you're not helping at all besides not getting the point of the post yet. So yeah, best we end here..

[–]malloww 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The easiest way to deal with it I've found of to just subtly redirect people back to themselves when they try to turn the conversation to you and you can't contribute without saying things you aren't sure you want to yet. Like say they're trading stories about guys being dicks to them, if it comes to you just say something like "wow I guess I've been lucky, I don't have any stories like that! But Jill, damn, what Jack did to you was extra shitty, you don't still talk to him, right?". Basically, just demure and then pick someone who seems like they want to keep talking about their life and encourage them to do so. Observant people may notice, but honestly most people won't. And it works best when you're genuinely interested, which I find easiest when I focus on caring about my friends and their feelings rather than the guys - no I really can't relate to a conversation about how hot some guy is, but I can at least appreciate that my friends enjoy that and I can relate to what it's like to be excited about someone I'm attracted to.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is great advice.

[–]schomee 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

That's because you have no idea what it's like to have a genuine community of other gays and lesbians. You sound like some broken person. It's like you're some martian who resigned yourself to live amongst the humans. We're alien to these people. You'd understand the feeling when you experience meeting your own "kind".

We come from heterosexuals and that's fine but let's not pretend there aren't hundreds of millions of markers of theirs that are tied to their sexuality that's alienating. We can write their love stories better than they can, make them cry over romantic, beautiful heterosexual romances that we've imagined...so it's not like theyre mysterious to us but we're still our own people and it feels completely different when you're in a room filled with a group of people you dont have to struggle expressing yourself to.

[–]IridescentAnacondastrictly dickly 14 insightful - 8 fun14 insightful - 7 fun15 insightful - 8 fun -  (3 children)

Honestly, my idea of Hell is an eternity in a room full of only gay men. Especially when they exhibit the toxicity that can pop up in, for example, oh, I don't know, the comment to which I'm currently responding.

[–]MyLongestJourney 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

That's because you have no idea what it's like to have a genuine community of other gays and lesbians

I want to be a person like everyone else,who just happens to be homosexual and not make my homosexuality the center of my being.

You sound like some broken person

I am a well adjusted person thank you very much.

It's like you're some martian who resigned yourself to live amongst the humans.

I am a human who lives among other humans.

We're alien to these people.

Not as much as you think. But then again if you lock yourself in a ghetto,instead of building bridges you may never find out.I build bridges. I let them see I am human like them.The only difference is me being homosexual.

You'd understand the feeling when you experience meeting your own "kind".

I have met plenty of my kind,they are called humans,both heterosexual and homosexual.

We come from heterosexuals and that's fine but let's not pretend there aren't hundreds of millions of markers of theirs that are tied to their sexuality that's alienating. We can write their love stories better than they can, make them cry over romantic, beautiful heterosexual romances that we've imagined...so it's not like theyre mysterious to us but we're still our own people and it feels completely different when you're in a room filled with a group of people you dont have to struggle expressing yourself to.

Stop projecting your inferiority complex to every homosexual person. I have zero problems expressing myself to heterosexual people again because my only difference from them is me being homosexual.

[–]schomee 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

When insulting someone, at least try and make it stick to the person. Where's the "inferiority complex" when most people would accuse me of having a superiority complex. For you to be so easily wounded by a mere comment is a bit embarrassing.

And it's people with your attitude that caused this problem in the first place. We've discussed people like you on here. The type who were desperate to "assimilate" but there's nothing for you to assimilate into. People like you were so cowardly and eager to leap into the arms of heterosexuals that you abandoned the gay community to everyone else. Homosexuals cant assimilate into heterosexual identities and culture. And i genuinely believe gays have a superior culture since our sexuality isnt regulated by so many institutions with barbaric histories and beliefs (just look at how the patriarchy regulates heterosexual women and how they screw themselves over by trying to assimilate into it).

And you also forego any responsibilities you have to gay and lesbian children by helping create an identity for them to navigate the world with. Nice.

[–]MyLongestJourney 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

When insulting someone

Kettle calling the pot etc

And it's people with your attitude that caused this problem in the first place. We've discussed people like you on here. The type who were desperate to "assimilate" but there's nothing for you to assimilate into. People like you were so cowardly and eager to leap into the arms of heterosexuals that you abandoned the gay community to everyone else. Homosexuals cant assimilate into heterosexual identities and culture.

Only people with severe personality disorders fail to assimilate to society.You appear to be suffering from several or perhaps your home is a bridge.My community is with other humans.My only difference from them is me being homosexual.

And i genuinely believe gays have a superior culture since our sexuality isnt regulated by so many institutions with barbaric histories and beliefs (just look at how the patriarchy regulates heterosexual women and how they screw themselves over by trying to assimilate into it).

Talk about delusion over 9000.There is no such thing as a homosexual culture

And you also forego any responsibilities you have to gay and lesbian children by helping create an identity for them to navigate the world with. Nice.

What they need is to grow up to be well adjusted,mature,responsible,critical thinking individuals. The greatest catastrophe for them would be to center their being on their homosexuality.

[–]schomee 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

" I believe. I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE in the one-ness of humanity! that we are all the same and if anyone cant assimilate then, then!!!..." Are you on drugs? Can i have some? Your delusions seem fun.

Do women "assimilate" into male identities? And what heterosexual identities do homosexuals assimilate into? Their christian churches? Their heterosexual centered belief systems? It seems you know nothing about gay/lesbian history, our accomplishments as a people and what makes us unique. You seem to be missing about 99% of gay identity. I truly do pity you. As for poverty, only someone who's deeply financially stressed or comes from poverty struggles with cultural poverty as well. Now who's projecting? And why do you have such a low IQ? "only people with severe disorders fail to assimilate"...ahhh, yes. That's why exceptional communities are all waiting in line to "assimilate" into whatever comes their way.

You seem to be flailing and swinging your arms into the air, not caring what comes out of your mouth as long as you say something to contradict what i said, even if it ends up contradicting yourself as well lol

[–]MyLongestJourney 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

I believe. I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE in the one-ness of humanity! that we are all the same and if anyone cant assimilate then, then!!!..." Are you on drugs? Can i have some? Your delusions seem fun.

Kettle etc

Do women "assimilate" into male identities? And what heterosexual identities do homosexuals assimilate into? Their christian churches? Their heterosexual centered belief systems?

Assimilate # adjust. You can both have your own personality,be a free thinker and be a well adjusted,productive individual.I see no gain in enclosing myself in a ghetto,neither do I have any desire of doing so.I also do not share your disdain for heterosexual people.As gay and lesbian history shows,we can work with them and we can make them understand us.

You seem to be missing about 99% of gay identity.

Yeah,because being homosexual is only part of my "identity" the rest is taken by being a woman, daughter, sister,Greek,scientist,professional,proponent of reason,science,democracy and free speech and staunch supporter of the Western Civilization.

As for poverty, only someone who's deeply financially stressed or comes from poverty struggles with cultural poverty as well.

As a Greek,LOL.Remembering my ancestors double LOL.

? And why do you have such a low IQ?

I made the mistake to read your posts and my brain cells entered mass apoptosis.

[–]Cass 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

calling someone broken bc they have empathy and aren't socially awkward

getting called out

ermarghed so emparassing wtf is wrong with you

stfu

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I relate to you. Most of my good friends are straights, I have been in your situation multiple times. Its awkward, I think I just put mental blinders on when guys talk about women.

You know what's worse tho? Having a woke "bisexual" bestfriend of many years and she only discusses men with me. Every time I point out that instead of ending up with a loser/fuckboy for the millionth time she can date a woman her response is "noo i rather date men, dating women is such a hassle" 🙄🙄🙄 I always argue with her regarding this, Like sis hasn't even given women a chance and she lectures people on their "privilege", bisexuals like her really ruin the reputation of other bisexuals. I'll post my own rant regarding this issue someday as it bothers me a lot.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your answer. From my personal experience, I feel like gay men get me a lot, even if I like women and they like men, they understand what it's like to be a homosexual in this heternormative society.. I usually feel very comfortable around gay men for this reason, besides the fact that we're not attracted to each other which makes everything even more comfortable, at least for me lmao. I'm sorry about your best friend, I feel bad for the good bi people who end up being badly represented by these kind of bi's like your best friend. I hope you can find a solution which will make you feel better and I feel much better now after so many supportive comments and advice, so if you feel like you need to rant as well, I definitely say go for it! wish you the best!<3

[–]artemisiagrey 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm sorry this happened to you. It sounds like you need to meet people who have more going on in their life than just dating.

Personally, my go to way to handle dating questions (when I don't feel like coming out to the person for what ever reason) is to ignore the fact that they're talking about men. What kind of guy are you into? Tell them what kind of women you like without making it obvious you are talking about women. Have you dated anyone recently? That's already an open question, so just answer honestly. You're not required to give them full disclosure.

I also just tell people that I'm focusing on myself and then start taking about hobbies I'm into. It's a good way to change the subject away from guys. It doesn't always work, but it's worth a try.

Also don't feel the need to answer questions. There's nothing wrong with saying you're focusing on your career right now and avoiding the topic entirely.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thank you for your advice and support!<3 Yeah, that's great advice, I'm going to try next time I'm in a similar position, despite hoping I never will again lmao. I feel quite embarrassed still from yesterday... anyway, thank you!<3

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

One of the things you encountered here, not to be uncharitable about this group of women, is simply that being focused on this topic doesn't involve much depth. It's a shallow preoccupation. That's part of the alienation. Just finding women who actually want to talk about other things besides men would help a good deal. And that could be as simple as taking a course you're interested in somewhere. The attendees / students will at least have one other thing in common to talk about.

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You're not awful company for straight women just because you aren't into guys though. When you stop caring what people think of you, you stop making assumptions about how people feel about you and it's very liberating.

I mean when straight women talk about guys, you do have something to bring to the table. Objectivity. Lol.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks, I needed to hear this, because I'm actually struggling with this. I'm getting a new degree now, the environment changed a lot from the past one and I'm still getting used to this "new environment" and struggling to fit in. Trying to "be like them" instead of just being myself...

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Even as someone who does like men that would get irritating to me too. I hope in time you are able to tell them you're a lesbian when you're ready. If they are as kind and caring as you say they should have no problems with it. Hopefully they aren't woke.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for the support! Best wishes for you!<3

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I relate, OP. I've always been visibly gay, so I haven't been subjected to the "which guy do you have a crush on?" probing as much as other lesbians, but I do remember sitting in terror when the girls around me talk about their crushes and boyfriends and wondering if the dynamic between us would change if I didn't play along (I didn't know I was gay back then, but I knew I was "off" and I knew not having any crushes or dating history or not knowing "what kind of guy I like" would only amplify that).

When I encounter heterosexual women in love, I now try to empathize with their fundamental feelings, even if I don't completely understand the targets of those feelings. I don't think we're all that different in that regard - a lot of our struggles are the same.

I don't have a lot of female friends - I lean butch, so I don't really relate to a lot of girly stuff and more gender conforming women tend to think I'm weird and some go as far as wanting to change me (give me a makeover, take me for a spa day, etc) which puts me right out. I'd like to form a group of lesbian friends so I don't have to deal with that, but as we all know, it can be difficult for us to find each other right now and I'm not great at making friends on top of that.

Sorry you had a rough time.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thank you very much. I truly appreciate it. For real, I feel you. It's really nice to hear someone who can relates to our struggles or has been through something similar or at the very least can empathize. I'm sorry that straight girls tried to "change you", that must have been horrible. I truly wish you the best and hope you can find your group of lesbian friends. This comments means the world to me rn.

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

To be fair to them, I think those girls were well meaning, just completely missing the mark.

I hope you find your gay circle soon too.

[–]Bright_paintingLoad, lesbian biologist 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Hi! I can really relate to that feeling of loneliness or otherness in a group of straight girls. What I usually do in situations where I'm not comfortable coming out, is that I tell them about that cute girl I meet, except that she is a cute boy when they hear the story. That has often worked out pretty well for me, and I hope that it can help you get out of uncomfortable situation a little less panicked.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks a lot, this is a great advice! I'll try this next time. Thank you<3

[–]DimDroog 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Oh that sounds awful.

Straight, but I hate it when women just talk about babies and men.

There are so many other things to discuss!

Maybe you could introduce a interesting topic?

I'm so sorry.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I tried, but then they were all so enthusiatic with each other and I was clearly a minority there... was hard. Thanks for the support!

[–]DimDroog 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Big hug.

That's tough.

You're welcome and hang in there.

[–]schomee 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (20 children)

I think you know exactly who i am. I wont "kick you while you're down" but.. i mean, lesbians keep forgetting theyre homosexuals first. They constantly forget what homophobia feels like since it just comes in short, intense bursts. And these people are nice and didnt exactly spit in your face. Now you know why i wouldn't stop swearing at lesbians for at least a month? You're homosexual first, and woman as an identity is like number 3 or 4.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (19 children)

This isn't about homophobia, buddy haha. But nice try.

[–]schomee 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (18 children)

Oh, you mean the homophobia that completely restructured our society for 2000 years has had no effects on you? You're supposed to think systematically. Everything is infused with it. Gays and Lesbians even helped create it to help them. And you weren't disheartened because they were talking about dick. You were disheartened because no matter how hard you try, you have "a people" no matter how hard you try and pretend you share some sense of womanhood with the rest.

It's so interesting as a gay man to see people like you. You're a homosexual, yes, but your privilege as a woman experiencing homophobia is different from that of a gay man in a way that harms you even more. It would be considered absurd for gay males to even consider being friends with straight men and be part of some "patriarchy" but it's interesting to see lesbians erase their history and trick younger lesbians to think they've somehow always been friends with heterosexuals/bisexuals. I dont hate you but.. i just feel like you've been radicalized by the internet and a victim of historical revisionism so it's sad that you're going to have to relearn every single older lesbians forgot to tell you because they were too busy being "women" instead of homosexuals.

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (17 children)

I really don't even understand what you're trying to say.

[–]schomee 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (16 children)

Try to be more articulate in your attempts at criticism. What dont you understand.

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

Are you suggesting homosexuals can't or shouldn't be friends with heterosexuals?

[–]schomee 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (14 children)

If that's what you took away from over 200 words saying absolutely nothing like that then i dont think it's worth squandering any effort conversing with you.

[–]ishutmyeyestosee 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

Hence me saying I have no idea what you're trying to say. You sound like a condescending prick to everyone in this thread, so I'll chalk it up to no great loss.

[–]schomee 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

Apply what i said to Julie Bindel. No one here is going to spoon feed you if the problem is on your end. Lesbians like Julie Bindel massively screwed over lesbians and my criticism is affirmed by people like her. She helped squander so much lesbian political energy that destroyed lesbian communities and made them fragile enough to be invaded by every single other letter. There's a reason the gay community is more homogenous and stronger than the lesbian one and it's not because of "privilege" or patriarchy, but because of the disastrous lesbians like julie bindel. Now read the comment you "didnt understand" and apply that to her.

[–]MyLongestJourney 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (11 children)

Apply what i said to Julie Bindel. No one here is going to spoon feed you if the problem is on your end. Lesbians like Julie Bindel massively screwed over lesbians and my criticism is affirmed by people like her

Amy Dyess is that you ?