Indoctrination / DoublethinkCatch-22: When you want to have gay sex, but it has to be PiV sex

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[–][deleted] 39 insightful - 13 fun39 insightful - 12 fun40 insightful - 13 fun -  (14 children)

i don't get any pleasure from anal

It's almost like women lack the main thing that gives men pleasure when receiving anal. Weird, huh?

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

I'm not a man, and welcome responses from the many gay/bi men in here with more experience with this on the male end. From my limited female perspective it does seem that for men both and women who genuinely like to receive anal sex, a major component of it is psychological. Once upon a time on r/agb I saw a question directed to bottoms about whether they enjoyed anal sex more from a psychological standpoint or a physical standpoint, and most seemed to say the psychological standpoint. For many it's both, but one more than the other, or one adds to the other. For others, it's only one not the other. I think on the female end, the psychological aspect is doing more work, but many women can and do feel physical pleasure from anal sex. For both men and women, it does seem to go with enjoying playing a submissive role in sex.

But no, Teen Vogue, just because I recognize that does not mean I think you should be marketing it to teen girls. And I certainly find the expectation that anyone should be into it a disturbing way in which porn has warped brains and interfered with real life for many people.

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

From my limited female perspective it does seem that for men both and women who genuinely like to receive anal sex, a major component of it is psychological.

Men have prostates, which are an erogenous area which is stimulated by anal sex. It's an anatomical thing.

That's why some straight men like pegging, for instance.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I figured that I didn’t have to say that because that is a given. But even without a prostate some women do enjoy anal stimulation/anal sex and do get physical pleasure from it. I’m stating this because I have seen some flat-out denial on here/related subsaidits from some women who stated they did not believe that any women genuinely like this or get physical pleasure from it, and that’s misinformation. Do I find it surprising that a woman is posting online that she doesn’t want to have it? Absolutely not. Do I wonder how such a woman can think she’s a gay man? Yes, for all the reasons.

Edit: Because apparently I do have to say it, yes, I know men have prostates and women do not. Obviously. But my point is that it's not the end all be all. I'm not really disagree with the comment I was responding to but adding this comment as a rider because of some related misinformation I've seen repeated as fact that some women like to get dogmatic about, out of some likely combination of ignorance, lack of personal experience, and ideological reasons.

[–][deleted] 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I'm more bottom inclined gay male but I don't like anal sex or even penetration that much, its just rehashed heterosexuality. Too many gays build their entire personality over top/bottom stereotypes

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Would you refer to yourself in the dating context as a “side”? I heard that word for the first time recently.

I hear you with the top/bottom stereotypes. It’s become a weird feature of online “lesbian” culture that’s bled into real life too, and it makes even less sense for us. I posted on here recently that a few months back, a practical lesbian stranger said to my girlfriend about me “she’s the top, isn’t she?” And I have no idea if we was even trying to comment on my presumed sexual behavior or what she presumed about my personality or what. It was weird though. I can only imagine it’s because she was remarking on a perceived incongruence because I’m not particularly masculine in my style and my girlfriend is, and on the whole in public I’m the one who tends to hold her and exhibit what I guess you may consider more leading body language. She’s also a bit taller than me (though we both fall in the upper end of average/lower end of tall height range if I’m not wearing heels). So if you have a simplistic mindset of masculine style = more dominant interpersonal behavior = sexually dominant, maybe you think that’s notable.

It does seem like stereotyping is getting worse not better.

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Its really strange when lesbians do the whole top/bottom thing, I happened to learn about it last year on a sub-reddit. I asked about it and was given an answer that women who use strap-ons are the "top" while women who get penetrated are the "bottoms". Its really uncanny territory as lesbians don't even have the equipment to be a "top" and that entire "strap-on lesbian sex" thing is such a porn-induced stereotype of lesbians, I assume there are many lesbians who wouldn't even want a plastic phallus near them

[–]DimDroog 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

practical lesbian stranger said to my girlfriend about me “she’s the top, isn’t she?” And I have no idea if we was even trying to comment on my presumed sexual behavior or what she presumed about my personality or what. It was weird though.

Wow, it may just be me, but I find it offensive as HELL when people comment about your sex life.

I would never dream of saying anything like this.

It's so flaming rude and personal!

Doesn't matter if the other person is LBG or not.

To me it's about respect.

[–]pacsatonifil 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Physically it feels great. I’m trying to think of something that’s unisex. Like a back massage it feels good, but now imagine your grandpa giving you one vs your naked girlfriend giving you one. One feels psychologically better. It still feels good, but like if I stuck a dildo it would feel good but if I had sex with a man it would be a whole body experience. It’s another plane of existence. If it didn’t feel good I would not do it even if the man was super hot.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is a good analogy. And yes the whole body experience is an important point. Same-sex attraction is a whole body experience. We’re not attracted to singular body parts and personalities in isolation. It’s a package deal. The kind of sex they want us to have sounds weird, disembodied, and disconnected. Like glory holes or something. Sure, some people get off to that but it’s not enough for most people who want the full connection to a person we are attracted to in every way.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

i don't get any pleasure from anal

Did anyone else read this and immediately think of the Cole Porter lyric "I get no kick from champagne"?

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

If you guys will forgive me replying to my own comment, here's some of I Get a Kick Out of You, rewritten from this insufferable Gayden's POV:

I get no kick from anal/good ol' buttsecks/just leaves me vexed/and really concerned about poo/but I get a kick out of (gender) woo

Alternative ending: but I get a kick out of uwu :)

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I get no kick as Plain Jane/dressing up uwu like some guy in an animoo/is my idea of something to do/and I get a dick out of you.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

and I get a dick out of you.

You, sir, win the internet :)

[–]ThrowMeAway2879[S] 27 insightful - 2 fun27 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 2 fun -  (13 children)

TFW you actually found that gay unicorn who thinks he is into you, but then realize that means that he is absolutely not into vagina.

I mean, I don't think her boyfriend's a Kinsey-6, maybe a 5, but still: What's with the surprised Pickachu face? Isn't this an FMT's dream?

[–]hufflepuff-poet 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Right, wouldn't PiV be "super invalidating"....this is so sad. These kids are having sex they don't want with people they aren't attracted to, the amount of sexual trauma they're gonna have to unpack in the coming years is gonna be intense. Someone needs to tell these kids it's ok to be homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual as long as you're practicing consent and mutual pleasure.

[–]DropItLikeItsHot 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You would think so, but because transgenderism is rooted in personal identity mental illness, their behavior is wildly inconsistent and hypocritical at times whenever they feel it's self serving and vAlIdAtInG. Because she can't get pleasure from anal she's forced to use the sex organ that does give her pleasure, the female sex organ, and do mental gymnastics to justify how it's not heterosexual.

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

These kids are having sex they don't want with people they aren't attracted to, the amount of sexual trauma they're gonna have to unpack in the coming years is gonna be intense.

This considering a good portion of them aren't fetishists who get off on this.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They believe their own propaganda this point and think their vagina is really a male organ.

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

It's only super invalidating if it's a straight man involved apparently. Eyeroll emoji.

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 15 insightful - 4 fun15 insightful - 3 fun16 insightful - 4 fun -  (5 children)

I mean, I don't think her boyfriend's a Kinsey-6, maybe a 5, but still: What's with the surprised Pickachu face? Isn't this an FMT's dream?

Or maybe he's just an idiot who gaslighted himself into believing that this relationship would work.

What did he achieved with this? A shit sex life and an unsatisfied partner? lol

[–]reluctant_commenter 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Was about to say this. Seriously, there is so much pressure among people in my generation to seem "open-minded" and say that you are open to and accepting of literally anything in sex. I've witnessed many of my peers, IRL, shame each other if someone implies that they have preferences deemed "too vanilla." We don't know this guy's sexual orientation, he well could be gay.

Hope he is doing okay and finds a way out of this toxic relationship.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

they seem way to open to things they know deep down they wont like. like dating a transman. Its all because they believe in a ll the new definitions of sexuality.

[–]DimDroog 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I hope he's at least bi.

It's sad to think of a gay or lesbian person forcing themselves to like something. JHC, this is triggering.

The creep I lost my virginity to was disgusting, and I had to gaslight myself into thinking he wasn't

I was 16, he was 25!!

This is exactly why I flip out when I see older folks preying on teens.

It enrages me.

I should have waited till I was 21, when I met a really nice man my age.

He was a lovely person.

I'm sad for every person that has been gaslight into sex.

It's disgusting.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's sad to think of a gay or lesbian person forcing themselves to like something. JHC, this is triggering.

Yeah... I hear you. It is sad. I actually did something similar when I was younger, forced myself to date/have sex with a guy (I am a lesbian woman) because my family hates homosexuality. I thought I just wasn't trying hard enough to be straight. Being on this sub and talking with other LGB people has actually helped me a lot in coming to realize how normal my feelings are.

It IS disgusting. I'm so sorry that happened to you. <3 Hoping your life is much more peaceful these days.

[–]DimDroog 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It is sad. I actually did something similar when I was younger, forced myself to date/have sex with a guy (I am a lesbian woman) because my family hates homosexuality. I thought I just wasn't trying hard enough to be straight.

Terrible, just awful.

I hope you too are doing better!

[–]pacsatonifil 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t think it will ever be enough. Maybe it’s a straight guy and doesn’t want to get her pregnant. I have a straight friend that legit asked what if he pretended to be gay and go out with a trans man that looks like a woman

[–]artetolife 23 insightful - 7 fun23 insightful - 6 fun24 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

She found a man willing to play along with the "cute gay boyfriend uwu" crap and she's complaining? lol no wonder so few of the comments are telling them to break up, she should thank her lucky transsexual stars.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 23 insightful - 3 fun23 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 3 fun -  (9 children)

From the comments:

He said piv was okay, but it isn't. He lied--to himself and then to you.

Again with the incel thinking. Characterizing a gay/bisexual man who tried to be into vagina or work around it as a "liar" is gross. LGBTQ cultists are always telling us we must be "inclusive," "open-minded," not "gatekeep" (have boundaries), and give trans people a chance and not judge them by their genitals. Now you're a liar if you try sexual activity that you end up not being into. Imagine if it was a male OP writing about his girlfriend saying she would be willing to try [insert sex act] and then realizing she doesn't like it. Probably wouldn't elicit the same comment.

On the flipside, this also does go with what I've said before, which is that there is a market out there for bisexual or straight men to lie about being gay in order to have anal and other kinds of sex with women who want to be validated as trans men. These are weird times we're living in.

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Again with the incel thinking. Characterizing a gay/bisexual man who tried to be into vagina or work around it as a "liar" is gross.

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and say this: he brought this upon himself.

He chose to delude himself into believing this shitty relationship would work, he chose to believe in TRA bs and chose to valitade her delusions.

What he got from this? A shitty relationship and an unhappy partner, that's it.

Play shitty games, gain shitty prizes.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I don't think that's all the way fair, depending on his age and social circle, in some spaces the pressure for homosexuals to deny our homosexuality and be open to straight trans people is intense and coming from inside the house! Young homosexuals are being told homosexuality includes opposite sex trans people and that if they disagree they are the problem, for a young homosexual in heterosexual society this can be really damaging

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This is a more of a online thing from my experience, as pushing this shite outside of twitter is something TRAs are still unconfortable with.

But even then, it's up to him to get on his feet and say no, because as this post proves, it's pointless to play pretend because these fucks will never be satisfied, never.

  • You do not validate an Aideen by pretending they're gay men? You're a transphobe who is literally killing trans people.

  • Do you pretend an Aideen is a gay man but isn't open to having sex with her? You're a transphobe who is literally killing trans people.

  • You don't want to fuck an Aideen in the exact way she wants you to? You're a transphobe who is literally killing trans people.

You see how shit this is? You can't will, never.

The only way to win is not to play.

[–]reluctant_commenter 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and say this: he brought this upon himself.

Did he? All we know is that he originally said, "Sure I'm fine with vagina," and then he changed his mind. He could well have been, say, sexually inexperienced and thought it would be no biggie to have PiV because he had no idea what he was talking about. Considering the average age on LGBT subreddits skews very young, I wouldn't be surprised if this were the case.

This woman is shaming the guy for changing his mind about a sex act. That is wrong and in my opinion, is borderline rapey behavior same as if an AGP male had done it. And if a straight man did that to a straight woman, people would be up in arms and for good reason.

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Did he? All we know is that he originally said, "Sure I'm fine with vagina," and then he changed his mind. He could well have been, say, sexually inexperienced and thought it would be no biggie to have PiV because he had no idea what he was talking about. Considering the average age on LGBT subreddits skews very young, I wouldn't be surprised if this were the case

Yes, when he decided to cave and actively validate her delusions he sealed his own fate in this doomed relationship.

It's important to acknowledge the role of TRAs in brainwashing gays and lesbians but also personal responsability.

I hope this served for him to learn to be a little more critical of this shit in the future.

This woman is shaming the guy for changing his mind about a sex act. That is wrong and in my opinion, is borderline rapey behavior same as if an AGP male had done it. And if a straight man did that to a straight woman, people would be up in arms and for good reason.

Agreed.

The people on the comments shaming the guy for not giving up his boundaries are horrible human beings and shouldn't be given a free pass.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

She can consult r/femaledatingstrategy on how to gaslight her boyfriend to have sex with her

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

That place has an interesting mix of people on the adversary and advocate sides, but I can’t say I’ve spent any time there. I assume it’s not for lesbians, or at least real ones.

[–]hunther 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

It really isn't a good place for lesbians. It's good for doormat women trying to get out of abusive relationships but that's about it

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 20 insightful - 3 fun20 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Oh my...

You know the funiest thing in this? The FtMs advising her to open the relationship.

Yes, incentivizing him to chase dick on the side will totally save this doomed relationship. It's not like she'll be gradually be demoted to side-piece or anything...

It's almost like forcing gay men to like vagina doesn't fucking work.

[–]Criticallacitirc 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

It's like all the bisexual mmf porn where it just ends up with the dudes together going at it and the girl is just kinda there watching lol.

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So one more instance of the good ol' not-a-fetish.

[–]DropItLikeItsHot 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So she wants sex that puts him at risk of impregnating her, one of the primary things that defines heterosexuality. Gay men do not, ever, have to worry about accidental pregnancies. This woman is delusional.

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 10 insightful - 8 fun10 insightful - 7 fun11 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

Imagine my shock

[–]Criticallacitirc 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

How many times have we heard them say , you can have sex without involving your genitals? That trans men still have assholes so what's the problem? Now a gay man is the problem in the relationship because he doesn't want to have PIV sex or perform cunnilingus?

Nothing is ever good enough for these people. I can't wait for more gay men to peak.

[–]linda_senora 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't feel remotely sorry for her. I hope the boyfriend finds a real man sooner or later.

[–]shveya 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Her name is gayvampires and she has posted photos of herself in puffy pirate shirts. Her whole life is larping the vampire Lestat.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Which could hardly be more apropos, given that the insufferable Lestat's creator, Anne Rice, was/is apparently a Gayden herself (she's always felt like "a gay man trapped in a woman's body" and lusted after strictly-dickly dudes).

[–]shveya 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Lol that's true, she's always writing about pretty boys lusting after each other. I think if she was born in the 90's or early 2000's, she'd have a binder and a stack of yaoi manga.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

She is a "gay man" now. She found someone who will support her delusions, she shouldn't complain.

She didn't identify hard enough for her to have a gender-induced prostate grow /s

But seriously what is she expecting courting a Kinsley 5 bi male who probably prefers real men than LARPing women. It's almost hilarious that she is forced to use the organ which she probably get dysphoria from, her vagina. Her female organ.

I hope the guy wakes up and find himself a real man to be with.