Chit-ChatSunday Social - open chat!

submitted by [deleted] from self.LGBDropTheT

In-between moments of righteous activism, we all have lives we attend to. What did you do last week, or what are your plans this week? Watching any good movies or shows? Go on any dates? Struggling with, or achieved, any major life goals? Survive any alien invasions?

Do you want to promote a new sub, or discuss topics that otherwise get removed? Do you want to introduce yourself, but are feeling too shy to make your own post?

Feel free to share here!

NOTE: our Rules are relaxed, but not gone entirely. Be excellent to each other!

all 29 comments
sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (19 children)

There is a Twitter account called "LGB with the T"-- guess they're trying to copy our name. The profile says it's associated with a group called Trans Radio UK... what are the odds that this is a transgender-identified person claiming to speak for LGB? Lol.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 5 fun -  (8 children)

Oh hey, on that same note, and to give a giggle to everyone. I made r/LGBDropTheTERFs and r/lgbdropthetransphobia.

I snagged them because the kiddies of r/LGBT and r/GenderCynical thought it would be totes hilarious if they existed and acted as a middle finger to us. Thanks for the idea!

They were private and devoid of any members, and got banned during the Aimee Challenor purge for "promoting hate", LMAO.

Just made r/LGBWithTheT. What should I put on the splash page for why it's private? I'm thinking "TERF RIGHTS!", but am open to suggestion.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 6 insightful - 6 fun6 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 6 fun -  (2 children)

This Day in Transtory: Marsha Johnstone the T-mason fired the first brick for the Stone Wall.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You win for me, and I've been thinking about it over the past few weeks. What about this, slight changes to what you said:

This day in HisTory: Marsha Johnstone, the gay-mason and blacksmith, fired and threw the first brick for the Stone Wall

Also, I'm just gonna make the sub pubic and restricted, so no one can do anything with it while it exists.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Looks good to me 👍

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (3 children)

What should I put on the splash page for why it's private?

"Helping lesbians learn to like dick and gay men learn to like pussy in peace and privacy since 2021."

(Unless you were thinking of some sort of blatant trolling, that is. Can't get my head in that game at the moment.)

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Trolling, for sure. Using their words/phrases, but in just the right way.

Can't use the phrase you said because it's too much LGBDropTheT - that would end up in a ban right away because it looks like I'm trying to collect people and reform our sub there under a different name.

Something stupid that would trigger their rage, but there's no loophole in the ever-expanding Reddit rule 1 that they can use to report it.

I'm open to memes also, I'll put an Imgur link on the splash page.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

but there's no loophole in the ever-expanding Reddit rule

Geez we probably need to hire a lawyer to read them for us. I haven't been keeping up.

What would be even funnier is coming up with a loophole they would scramble to close once it was used to troll them.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What would be even funnier is coming up with a loophole they would scramble to close once it was used to troll them.

That's what I want, for sure.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 6 fun4 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

What should I put on the splash page for why it's private? I'm thinking "TERF RIGHTS!", but am open to suggestion.

"Aimee Challenor rules! Reddit is the best."

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

There's also https://twitter.com/lgbdropthet, which took the name back in 2020, made 2 tweets, and has done nothing with it since then.

Once upon a time one of our other mods created a Twitter account, in case we brought someone on board who wanted to help us with it. None of us have the mental fortitude to deal with Twitter though, and I think we even lost the login info by this point, LOL

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

I think it would be great to have an official Twitter account for our sub! Continuity across platforms. I'm not about to volunteer, though; I'm pretty Twitter-inexperienced, I only lurk on it.

There's also https://twitter.com/lgbdropthet, which took the name back in 2020, made 2 tweets, and has done nothing with it since then.

Lol, the salt.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

I think it would be great to have an official Twitter account for our sub! Continuity across platforms.

I rarely disagree with you. This is one of those times. :-) My recent misadventures there confirm that place is a tar pit of vitriol, narcissism, denial and hate. There are good people there too but we should meet them in stealth mode and not subject ourselves to an official presence there, I don't think. Nobody would want to deal with it for more than 5 seconds. It's too godawful. It's poison.

We have some peace because we still have some obscurity. Until we have AI moderators who can do the job for us...one does not simply walk into Mordor.

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Until we have AI moderators who can do the job for us...one does not simply walk into Mordor.

LOL fair. I do think, though, that we should get some continuity going... What other platforms do you think would be a better fit than Twitter? Youtube? Facebook...?

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

First let's clarify what the goal would be. More exposure? Or a backup to this place in some form? (Or place to point people to a new forum location if needed?)

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Us mods have discussed this.

Our thought is that if we had an official Twitter, it would just currently be a backup to this sub. If we get banned/removed or the site goes down, it would be a place where everyone can look to so they can find out where we are next.

That's as far as we've thought about it, because none of us can wade into the cesspool that is Twitter. That social media platform is a job of its own.

If we had a mod who wanted to take it beyond announcements, and into exposure and getting our message out there to more people ... that would be welcome. But we aren't even getting general mod applications on their own, let alone someone who wants to take on a social media account and grow it.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

A Twitter pointer to our new home makes sense. I don't think I'd venture beyond that currently. Twitter has a massive audience, and whoever was running the account would need to be pretty savvy about how they did things, if they were trying to post and reply, etc.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Agreed. Anyone wanting to run our Twitter account would not only need to understand our sub purpose, but also be in the right frame of mind to tackle social media. It would be a really extreme volunteer job, and not for the faint of heart.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

None of us have the mental fortitude to deal with Twitter

Wise decision. I have to wear a bunch of PPE to deal with them and strictly limit my exposure.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

what are the odds

100% I'd say.

[–]Datachost 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In news that may not mean much to too many people, Akua Reindorf is set to join the EHRC board. Pretty big move considering her previous work

Edit: Also Maya Forstater has gotten an apology from the Scouts & Fair Cop have won at the Court of Appeals effectively laying the groundwork to end non crime hate incidents. Good few days on TERF Island

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Family relationship dynamics. I have an abusive narcissist (and their flying-monkey enabler) in my immediate family. Dealing with that person involves never mentioning reality, i.e. anyone who does will be punished. Every interaction is fake. Predicated on me pretending to go along with decades of lies. (This limits my willingness or ability to have any interactions, because that's such a twisted mess of a dynamic to deal with.)

My relative decided it was open season on me today, so I mentioned reality. I don't regret it. I have nothing left to give to these people no matter who they are. Go ahead and take another swing at me, it's cool. Here's a mirror. Have a nice day.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Shit, I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that. I know all about the narcissistic family, and the flying monkeys/enablers that come along with it.

Dealing with that person involves never mentioning reality, i.e. anyone who does will be punished.

My life.

My next comments are going to sound terrible to anyone who hasn't dealt with it.

The primary narcissist in my immediate family died last year, and I'm OK with it. I don't feel sadness or remorse, I don't mourn for the loss ... I actually feel relieved that I never have to deal with any of it ever again. I've been low contact and gray-rocking for years, and now I can just be myself. I can let down my barriers/walls, finally, and it's freeing.

The side-effect is that I have very little tolerance anymore for similar behavior. My compassion and willingness to work with other people is fading away. I do still compromise, don't get me wrong ... but I'm much more quick to shut down bullshit and red flags, and don't play nice anymore.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I feel you, 100%. I don't play anymore either. And yes, it's a relief when someone who is that toxic is no longer able to harm their targets.

I might have more to comment about regarding this but as a result of exhaustion from dealing with that person yesterday I need to pass out at the moment. Much love to you.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Love and goodwill to you too, and I hope you were able to get some rest and feel a bit better today. It's always a struggle, but we've got to find these small moments to get back into ourselves and be true to who we are.

You are yourself, a real independent person, and YOU are more important than perpetuating and honoring the lies anyone else tells themselves. {{{hugs}}}

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. {{{HUGS}}} back. They escalated pretty severely throughout the rest of the week. Spent the day talking to friends to bolster myself. Suspect I will not be in contact with the two family members for much longer. Which would leave me with zero close family in the area. But I can't spend my life having my insides carved out by emotional butchers. That is not a life worth living.

So I'm grateful for friends / chosen family. Holy hell, what a ride mental health issues are.

I still don't regret sticking to my guns. And I wonder what it would be like to have nobody in my life that I have to pretend around like this. I've never had that psychological freedom.

But at the same time I am super angry because the enabler / co-narcissist / victim got their life fucked over too and they have no idea how badly the abuse damaged them. And they're not going to listen to me, the only person left who is a witness. It's, well...I don't know. Definitely one of the worst experiences of my life. I can't save that person. I don't know what to say about that. It's like watching a loved one be stuck in a cult and the cult's reality. You are the bad guy, you are invalid, invisible, if you try to get through to them. This is above my pay grade presently.

I'm grateful though to be so familiar with these tactics that I don't get gaslit or hooked or confused. I know what is going on. And that I'm not able to fix it. And that I didn't create it.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

You know what this place could use? Some sort of “profiles in clownery” series. Featuring prominent individuals in TQ activism including possibly LGB people who now throw LGB people under the bus in support of TQ. And also the various institutions involved including ones that used to champion same sex rights. Perhaps this would be better for a blog down the line, but there is some serious corruption and hypocrisy that is in some need of serious sunlight. Some things to cover all with relevant timelines showing the changes:

  • Changes in policy positions and areas of focus
  • Demonstration of how these individuals and institutions seem to have done a 180 and completely forsaken same sex rights to the point of sex denial
  • Changes in funding and sources of income

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

LGB is about sexuality, we're not here to talk shit about "clown profiles" or focus on their ridiculousness. Why would we divert our entire purpose and community for that? Think of how terrible that is for LGB, and how focusing on others got us where we are today.

"Clowns" is not relevant unless they're impacting LGB, and there are flairs for that. We are not s/TumblrInAction and we are not s/ThereAreTwoGenders.

If you (or others) can't find the appropriate flair when you're posting, it probably means you're sharing the wrong content for our sub. There are very few posts we can't flair appropriately - those we can't typically hit several talking points, so we wait for the community to decide through comments.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying. I'm talking about profiling organizations like the National Center for Lesbian Rights (perhaps my personal favorite), Human Rights Campaign, GLAAD, their changing leadership, etc. Actual activists. Not randos on Twitter or Tumblr sideshows. I was being facetious by calling it profiles in clownery but the emphasis is on things not making sense anymore and being logically inconsistent.