On one of our favorite ongoing communities to observe (AGB), I've noticed the following inconsistency. If a guy comes on and says, "I'm basically straight, but my gay friend sucks my dick," or something along those lines, you'll have a bunch of guys responding, "Whatever you are, you're not straight. You're bisexual."
But bring up gender, and it's all about self-ID. You absolutely have to take the other person at his/her/their/xer word that they are describing themselves accurately or else you are misgendering them, engaging in "literal violence."
Is it just the convention that trans is somehow sacred and cannot be challenged, while people seem perfectly happy to challenge some stranger's description of his sexual orientation?
It just seems like such a glaring case of hypocrisy to me. If we have to take someone's word for their gender, why shouldn't we have to take their word for their sexual orientation??