Fraeulein

In the summer between my middle school and high school year, a long-time long-distance friend of mine introduced me to one of her friends. This friend of hers identified as a transgirl, though, when we first met, I was not actually aware that she wasn't biologically female. We didn't talk too much at first, and all she really knew about me was that I was three years younger than her, a lesbian, and a huge Sonic fan. In the group chat with me, her, our mutual friend, and their other friends, she wrote her coming out story, which I believe was the first time I found out she was trans. I sent a very short and generic response, probably something along the lines of, "Rad! You're valid!" Didn't think much of it after that until a bit later, she sent me a direct message about how sweet I was. From there, we started DM'ing each other, mostly talking about our favorite video games and nerding out over Sonic and the Elder Scrolls. I also showed her some of my art, and she was very supportive of it, which made me feel really happy. Just a couple weeks later, though, out of the damn blue, she asked me out. At this point, I didn't have any feelings for her that were not purely platonic, but I was worried about saying no for several reasons. I didn't want to lose my new friend who shared so many of my interests, and I was worried about creating a divide among our mutual friends and being seen as transphobic among them. This was around the time where "if a lesbian rejects a trans lady just for being trans then she is a dirty transphobe and should be burned at the stake" started becoming a big thing among the inclusive LGBT spaces. So, I accepted, and figured we would probably drift away in just a month or so. Unfortunately, that was not at all the case. After a bit into dating her, I started seeing all new sides of her. She was very manipulative, and I quickly became very emotionally attached to her. The longer our relationship lasted, the less she started caring as being perceived as a woman, and about a couple years into it, "she" completely dropped the trans shtick and was identifying as a man again. I did ask him about it, and he basically admitted that he mostly decided to identify as a trans lesbian to make our mutual friend, who is a lesbian, like him more. I hadn't put two-and-two together at the time, but I now realize that this was just a sick man with a weird lesbian fetish (supported by all the lesbian porn he would always randomly send me unprovoked). It completely changed my belief that the idea of a person pretending to be trans for predatory purposes was unrealistic. And even though I was a victim in this, I am still very reluctant to talk about it in most LGBT spaces because I know they will consider me a TERF sent from the bowels of bigot hell. There's no room for a nuanced discussion when it comes to this sorta thing among most LGBT spaces now. Hell, I don't even consider myself gender critical, but this is one of the few places I know of that doesn't just hate LGBT people in general where I could safely discuss this.