Where is everyone?

piylot · 2021-11-21T10:41:09+00:00

r/actuallylesbian, without the final s

piylot · 2021-05-28T12:22:09+00:00

They hate to see you thrive without them, it makes them feel unimportant, and contradicts their view that women are usually the ones to blame for unhealthy relationships. Do these men also date women? What reasonable explanation is for them to feel that it's fine for them to date women but unhealthy for you to do so?

piylot · 2021-04-08T22:54:55+00:00

I don't think not having the opportunity to have sex makes misogynistic men feel less entitled to women's bodies. Incels are the prime example of this. They even seem to in most cases attribute their resentment towards women to their lack of sex. I don't think that's fair or true but I don't think it solves anything either.

And if the female standard is still to start having sex in mid-late teens (unconfirmed whether rates of young women or teenage girls having sex is actually in decline) then I don't think we could conclude that anything has changed in terms of the social expectations on women.

You can send me a pm

piylot · 2021-04-08T07:48:16+00:00

I don't think it's a matter of opinion, I don't actually know the stats on whether it's true or not. In my experience as a teen my female friends more often had sex younger than our males friends though

piylot · 2021-04-03T11:09:26+00:00

I've heard that too but don't know how if the same is true of women. I get the impression that the men nowadays not having sex are less likely to attribute this to "not feeling pressured" and more likely to attribute this to a lack of opportunities, especially as the average marriage age increases. I don't think that necessarily has the same knock-on effect towards women.

If you've ever browsed redpill/incel forums (solely out of morbid curiousity or otherwise) the theorising goes that as there is less focus on settling down there becomes a bigger window where people are having casual sexual encounters or short term relationships. This is likely also facilitated by increasingly casual attitudes towards sex, though I'm not sure if the rp community touch on this. Women tend to be more choosy than men, and so ~80% of women end up sleeping with the top 20% of men in terms of sexual value, and most often these men are older than women too. So there becomes a discrepancy between sexes where most young women have had casual sex and less men have. I'm not promoting redpill views here, I have my own issues with it, but those sorts of studies you're reading are highly cited in redpill groups, just giving more context on the hypothesis (to save you from needing to go into those forums to do your own research)

piylot · 2021-04-03T09:12:55+00:00

I think we're only going to get biased speculating since nobody's doing studies on this, and nobody is asking lesbians of multiple generations the details of their sex lives.

But to contribute my speculation, I've observed some countries have gone from being heavily religiously influenced to taking on a culture with much more secular liberal beliefs like the USA, meaning the young people of today are very rarely ~waiting for marriage, where as with their parents generation this was seen as the norm and shameful not to. I imagine that would contribute to their being less goldstars today.

But this change of culture has also meant that lesbians can live fairly normal lives without fear of being shunned, disowned, or systematically discriminated against. They may have been goldstars before but they were probably also living in convents, and those who weren't goldstars were in marriages they were taught they had to tolerate even if they were unhappy.

piylot · 2021-03-29T22:55:50+00:00

5 more days, stay strong

piylot · 2021-03-08T23:16:33+00:00

The irony of the amount of posts in r/super_lesbian by bisexual women. Like "hey so glad this space exists, I wanted to use it to talk about my experiences dating men and sometimes girls too"

piylot · 2021-03-05T23:47:44+00:00

The strangest is how narrow men's hips are - really unattractive. The most visceral is probably how they smell or the amount of body hair.

That last question had me wondering people's opinions on this topic too. Or "would you be more attracted to a trans man or a trans woman?" but I don't think any good would come from discussing the topic and would likely turn nasty.

piylot · 2021-03-04T08:54:01+00:00

I thought it was Desire from the start. I think once you hone in on someone you just see details to back it up. I think she didn't name any lesbian films or know what the masterdoc was. She was very quick to agree with people about having the same experiences and much more reserved about speaking first.

What made me doubt it was that she had long nails, and I figured the producers wouldn't choose a straight woman with long nails as their mole. I had closed the video for a bit at that time and when I reopened I thought from a casting point of view it was probably Isabelle.

I was also wondering if the non-lesbian was going to be an average straight woman or eg someone who previously thought they were gay but now realise they're actually pansexual, which would make it much harder. Once I thought it was less likely to be Desire I was pretty sure the mole was adjacent to lgbt culture in some way, since everyone else seemed informed on the topic.

piylot · 2021-03-03T21:48:25+00:00

Who did you think it was?

piylot · 2021-03-02T21:37:00+00:00

I agree with you. I think there's a commonplace view in some radfem/GC spaces that is ideologically sound in theory but doesn't actually provide any practical or compassionate solution as to how we consider and facilitate the people who do choose to take cross-sex hormones and pass as the opposite sex. The idea is they shouldn't, but can't ever rule out that for an individual it may be beneficial to their life to do so, and often doesn't offer any compassion if they do.

Again, not relevant to the question re: dating. I wouldn't date a trans man as the male characteristics would be unattractive to me and also I wouldn't want my attraction to the female body to be stifled by a partner who didn't want their body to be regarded as female. Just thought I'd reply to note their are members here who are upvoting you, and even if most people here don't agree there are people along side them that you. We're not as much of a hivemind on here as it may look at first glances.

piylot · 2021-02-28T23:53:41+00:00

Did anyone else see– there was a post yesterday or maybe the day before to discuss 'issues facing the lesbian community', and the top (2nd top?) upvoted answer was something like "I feel there's an elephant in the room we're not allowed to address". Mod replied something like "What are you referring to?" and got so many downvotes their response was hidden.

piylot · 2021-02-27T10:55:17+00:00

Agree with it all except people are definitely using it to explain why gay men are gay, if you haven't encountered that that's just selection bias. Also, a lot less people here are radfems than you might initially assume.

piylot · 2021-02-23T23:05:20+00:00

I've spent the last half hour googling what the recommended advice on when you can have sex again after having genital warts is and getting very little information. This is a really tough situation, I don't have any answers here. Is your belief that if you ever have an outbreak, or have been knowingly exposed that you should inform every partner prior to having sex? Even if you're not showing any symptoms anymore?

Also, do you know– did she end things because she had an outbreak or just coincidental?

piylot · 2021-02-23T18:43:50+00:00

If you get 100% you get made mod on here

piylot · 2021-02-23T18:23:24+00:00

That's true in that context, but what about people who hate someone who was cruel to them? They don't have to have previously loved them to feel hatred. You could hate a political figure, someone who robbed you, a teacher who treated you unfairly etc, doesn't mean you're secretly in love with them. A woman could have all sorts of non-romantic experiences with men that could leave a sense of hatred towards them, I don't doubt it personally.

piylot · 2021-02-22T08:52:21+00:00

You read accounts of women talking about the sexual abuse they've experienced and your reaction was to think they must not really be lesbians and feel alienated and sorry for yourself...

piylot · 2021-02-21T14:48:51+00:00

Preference for lesbians but if I met someone I liked and was compatible with then bisexual is fine

piylot · 2021-02-20T04:36:46+00:00

I saw this study when I was maybe 17/18, and used to worry about it a lot at the start of my 20s because admittedly I also found 20/21/22 year olds most attractive. Thankfully in my mid 20s I now think 20 year olds look like half-children. I don't think referring to their attraction as peaking represents it well, if that's the study OP was referring to. They never graded the intensity of their attraction, just graphed who it was directed towards as their age changed. But yes so far I seem on track to create a graph that more closely follows my own age.

piylot · 2021-02-18T22:41:23+00:00

I don't think of this as the worst thing that's ever happened to me but I had a similar (though thankfully not nearly as intense) experience of having friends - who I had many times partied with and dedicatedly looked out for- leave me in alone in a dangerous situation without any remorse when I accidentally became sick after drinking. It's been a few years but I definitely think of the whole experience (and ways I was treated during connected events, some of which more upsetting but too convoluted to get into) as a "before-and-after" in my life. That was partially because I had an abrupt change of losing my social group but also the harshness of realising that many (if not mostly all) people can and will abandon compassion at their own convenience. It inspired a cynicism I haven't fully been able to shake. The idea of committing to the belief that people are inherently good sounds attractive, but I feel that I'm continuously seeing evidence that contradicts that. I don't aspire to be cynical but it feels rational to me. I think I'll figure out a way of regarding and connecting with people that works for me eventually, through trial and error as always. In hindsight I'll figure out if the pessimism was something to move through and discard or something that plays a necessary role. For now, on the way there, I'm a little spiteful.

piylot · 2021-02-18T11:43:19+00:00

The person who posted that tweet is a "trans lesbian" who defends "bi lesbians", so that answers that

piylot · 2021-02-17T21:03:02+00:00

r/TrueLesbians was banned 7 months ago. Are you thinking of ActualLesbians?

piylot · 2021-02-14T21:51:18+00:00

The things you'll find when you search for something to anger you!

piylot · 2021-02-14T20:56:09+00:00

How did you find this?

piylot · 2021-02-06T19:06:38+00:00

I use the laugh button as an actual laugh. Might have laughed because I disagreed so hard but still laughed. Saidit's format is like "if you disagree it's not important that anybody knows about it". Probably intentional on a site that's full of conspiracy theories.

piylot · 2021-02-06T12:18:37+00:00

I was really just speaking about what I prefer

piylot · 2021-02-05T23:37:43+00:00

I like the discussions of differing opinions and dislike the directed insults or disrespect. I think there has to be a balance, when a forum becomes very argumentative / quick to make personal insults then people don't go there looking for support, company or advice. The forums that are quick to get heated or turn to name calling don't have a lot of people asking for advice or support.

piylot · 2021-02-05T22:27:34+00:00

Your views were more interesting than my question, the conversation deserved to be derailed

piylot · 2021-02-05T20:20:15+00:00

What if it made you straight? And what are you looking forward to about being femme?

piylot · 2021-02-05T19:38:06+00:00

Do you think you'll be femme then?

piylot · 2021-02-05T07:31:53+00:00

That is an unpopular opinion! If femme4femme should be encouraged because it's the "proper representation" of a lesbian couple, wouldn't that same reasoning say it should be encouraged for all lesbians to be femme because this is better representation?

piylot · 2021-02-05T07:27:14+00:00

I miss that there was a frequency of posts and a size of community that allowed people to drop in for casual dating & relationship discussions or advice. I feel like the "lesbian" subs that admit to being all inclusive/queer come with the problems that you're getting responses from (as have been said) teenagers, males who've recently started identifying as lesbians, women who almost exclusively date heterosexually, and people who use the platform to preach their views.

piylot · 2021-01-29T03:05:14+00:00

I think if you can enjoy short term things or dates with women you know you won't fall in love with, and you're up front about not looking for anything casual then go for it, or at least try it. I think committing to a relationship where you know you're settling because you feel you won't find anything better will end badly. Have you had any experiences with this?

I think if you've had a sustained curiosity about moving towns then it's worth looking into ways you could make that plan happen. Even if you don't choose to do it, thinking through a realistic plan might help you reflect more on the pros and cons of it.

Broadly I can relate, I'm currently making plans to leave where I live now and wondering how much it will change in my life.

piylot · 2021-01-28T12:45:13+00:00

Hmm ok, weirdly timed coincidence otherwise. I honestly don't really know how blocking someone from a website works other than clicking their account, and can't ask anyone irl who might understand better without admitting the embarrassing truth that I got banned from the L chat 😔😔😔

piylot · 2021-01-27T23:55:24+00:00

Pretty sure there's L chat mods who read saidit. I once spoke unfavourably about them and got my IP address blocked without ever having posted there 😔 I miss reading their reactions

piylot · 2021-01-23T23:39:14+00:00

There's a rule that a sub can get banned if it's created as a replacement for a previously banned sub, without that new sub breaking the rules otherwise. That was the reason biological lesbians got deleted, and that was all different moderators

piylot · 2021-01-21T18:41:59+00:00

I'm very interested in hearing more about how you came to feel this way if you're comfortable answering but understand these can be a bit prying so skip over any/all that are beyond your comfort level sharing - How many relationships have you been in, and how long did they last? How old are you? And do you still date short term / have hook ups etc or what does this mean about what you look for now?

piylot · 2021-01-20T14:51:56+00:00

I'm sorry you had this experience. If it gives you any clarity to know, there are people out there who will treat emotional intimacy as a no strings attached exchange the same way someone might seek out casual sex. If it's mutually understood to be just that - a shared experience of pseudo-intimacy to fill a desire - then it's harmless. The problem is nobody ever says "hey, this doesn't mean I have deep feelings for you", and so the other person will most often interpret the situation as based on genuine connection.

I'm personally of the belief that it's never too early or too serious to ask someone what they're looking for — it doesn't mean you're asking them for monogamy or commitment at that point, just clarifying what they're open to or not since that can vary a lot between tinder users. The red flags have been listed already, eg oversharing. It shows a lot about how someone builds connection if they share vulnerable information without establishing if you're someone they can trust. She's lucky she met someone who was kind to her (as far as I can tell you were), the same people who behave like this while dating are also putting themselves at major risk of attractive manipulative or abusive people.

You don't have to get right back on tinder if you don't want to. Be kind to yourself through it. You can't always prevent getting your heart hurt in dating. Even if you are warned about what red flags are, it's very difficult to end things with someone you're attracted to and interested in (especially when the dating scene is so bleak) when you notice them.

piylot · 2021-01-15T01:05:59+00:00

This is the biggest factor, and if it's a first date / how well you know each other

piylot · 2021-01-04T19:10:37+00:00

I think it's a joke actually

piylot · 2020-12-29T13:39:13+00:00

I was going to chime in and say with the small dating pool I've been open to seeing women cities that would be 1-2hr on a train, but can't relate to anything nearly as close to yours- How did you meet? How long have you been together?

One issue with dating people who live far away I've found (besides pandemic related travel issues currently) is that I really prefer to be in a situation where I can leave / cut things short as easily as possible if I'm not feeling it/ need some space, and that's hard when travel needs to be organised in advance

piylot · 2020-12-28T14:59:02+00:00

Is there a part of the UK you'd like to live? I'm in the UK and sometimes feel very confined as a monolingual english speaker, unless I chose to move to a different continent I have to accept a climate that makes being outdoors unpleasant for a lot of the year and negatively impacts my mental health. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off trying to learn a second European language

piylot · 2020-12-28T12:14:29+00:00

I'm interested — why is the UK your favourite country in Europe? Is there a place in the UK you've particularly dreamed of living? Have you been much?

piylot · 2020-12-26T03:26:25+00:00

I don't think you learn anything useful about relationships by spending your younger years in one sided relationships /having sexual experiences you didn't want to be in.

piylot · 2020-12-24T00:39:48+00:00

Thanks for sharing, hope you find lots of people and places that don't make you feel shamed for being gay. Most important thing is to feel safe and comfortable while you're still unable to be independent of your parents.

piylot · 2020-12-19T18:20:35+00:00

I'll put this up tomorrow

piylot · 2020-12-16T16:26:42+00:00

Hmm, but the word "masculine" also means male-like. I'm not sure that there's any way to use a descriptor that avoids that. And when we all understand what masculine activities/interests/appearance means, can we avoid having a word for it at all without trying to deny a pattern that's prominent in our culture?

piylot · 2020-12-12T19:39:37+00:00

In the 2000s for me (UK), and don't recall it being used as an insult, though I wasn't particularly a tomboy.

piylot · 2020-12-12T19:34:25+00:00

I've had someone comment about me being young before on a date, and at the time it made me feel insecure but once I was out of the situation I think it was more likely they were actually feeling insecure about being older and didn't mean to offend me. My vote is to bring it up, ask her about her reservations, how much you both notice the age gap and experiences with age gaps before etc. But ultimately you're very likely to be at different life stages and if she'd prefer a relationship with someone in a similar life stage to her that's what she wants. And let us know how it goes

piylot · 2020-12-12T14:58:59+00:00

But from my experience tomboy wasn't used pejoratively, girls happily called themselves tomboys, and it didn't have any implications about being in the wrong body. It does have "boy" in the name, but nobody would make any mistake in understanding tomboys were girls.

piylot · 2020-12-11T11:21:35+00:00

The name reads different in 2020

piylot · 2020-12-09T07:40:57+00:00

Just interested more than having any good answers. Better situation that someone who's not invested in getting you off imo but I think I'd miss the other side. All my sexual experiences have been casual. I'm not sure how I feel about women who think of themselves as having a specific role.

piylot · 2020-12-09T00:50:44+00:00

Is this your first sexual relationship? Do you have a desire to perform acts on her / do you miss doing that, or just worry that she's unsatisfied / feels you're being selfish?

piylot · 2020-12-09T00:49:19+00:00

Am I misunderstanding or are you saying you get distracted by thinking about what's happening on saidit while on the receiving end of sex acts?

piylot · 2020-12-05T20:27:32+00:00

The girl who cheated on her partner and broke up her because she didn't forgive her fast enough has issues with relationships that are beyond your capacity to fix. You can't make someone a good partner by being more desireable. She may feel bad that her actions hurt you, but thay doesn't mean she won't do something similar again. And her starting a new relationship so quickly is a reflection of her relationship patterns far more than it's a reflection of your worth or value as a partner

piylot · 2020-12-04T00:56:41+00:00

Let's not jinx things...

piylot · 2020-12-02T19:26:13+00:00

I saw a few cases people describing themselves as transracial (most often white people who consider felt they were really japanese) that got majorly called out on tumblr ~5 years ago, they got no empathy, was seen as offensive, don't think it'll ever take off.

Otherkin was still going around that time too, and was mostly turned a blind eye too but received some backlash because they tried to use the same logic of being born in the wrong body, and it reflected poorly on transgender people to be associated with it.

There's definitely been a boom of people self diagnosing with DID. I think self diagnosed mental illness has been going on a while, at least 10 years but that's just the span of my time online. Bear in mind among these are a large portion of people (I'd even say maybe the majority) who genuinely have been struggling with mental illness and only came to understand it through the availability of information online, especially in online communities. Even with a correct self diagnosis there's always the concern that these online communities become like group therapy with no therapist– just sick people who often don't know how to help themselves trying to help each other.

I think one thing that's growing in popularity more recently is the self diagnosis of more nuanced mental health/emotional issues - eg attachment styles, trauma. People not so much taking on a label but dissecting their own past and labelling things as traumatic etc. Again a lot of people will be correct, but I do think part of the appeal in these cases is having something to blame for your problems, which can be a slippery slope

piylot · 2020-12-01T22:32:04+00:00

More commonly accepted definition in the woke circles is identifying as a gender identity other than the one assigned at birth i.e. nb being other than female

piylot · 2020-12-01T22:29:09+00:00

Do you have speculations about why she's chosen to identify as transgender?

piylot · 2020-11-30T01:04:30+00:00

I think the source of our disagreement here is only in how prevalent we believe it is that women are using strap on because they feel like they should vs using one because they've tried different sex acts and found they enjoy that one. I think your description of what generally gets off is largely true but I also think different things work for different people, and that different forms of stimulation can result in different experiences of orgasm that some women may prefer over others (either generally or in a particular moment), it's not just about how fast or reliably one technique results in orgasm.

I don't mean this in any way to encourage you to try it btw.

piylot · 2020-11-30T00:35:54+00:00

🥉 6/12/2020

piylot · 2020-11-29T11:51:23+00:00

I'm very guilty of this, feeling emotionally invested in someone I don't know enough to actually know if I like. It's tough too because I don't enjoy the company of the majority of people. When I do this it's like you take a rough outline from what you see and fill in 90% of the rest of the picture by yourself. Have you ever ended up going on a date with someone you've been prematurely excited about? I have and found that as I learned more about them there's a cognitive dissonance created as they reveal themselves to not be how you imagined/hoped. The other issue it can create is awkwardness if you've prematurely expressed interest (eg over text before meeting) and then you're not as interested in person, makes things more awkward to have put that expectation out there. I think ideally you learn to enjoy things only for what they are and not what you hope they could be, but I also think a lot of people do get prematurely excited about things and nothing bad happens because of it. I hope this girl is great and super compatible with you and you do get married but I also hope you enjoy it for what it is while it lasts.

piylot · 2020-11-29T02:15:06+00:00

What if a lesbian couple don't believe a strap on is necessary to qualify something as "real sex" but still enjoy using it? Is the strap-on itself lesbophobic or just the idea that it's necessary?

piylot · 2020-11-28T14:57:46+00:00

I've looked through the profile and I agree with you. I have OCD myself which has taken a lot of different forms over the years and I'd bet a lot of money this is what she's dealing with

piylot · 2020-11-26T21:22:21+00:00

temporarily forgot that not that long ago people didn't assume that would be possible in their lifetime

piylot · 2020-11-25T19:23:43+00:00

did she believe you?

piylot · 2020-11-23T18:39:33+00:00

Hope they make a sequel where we find out if she finally doesn't have dead grass

piylot · 2020-11-22T15:43:11+00:00

I had never seen this film before, but have been aware of it since seeing the trailer before the film's release. This film came out around the same time I did, and embarrassingly I can remember that at that time I partially bought into the appeal of a storyline that cast two well-liked, family-friendly, heterosexual actresses as lesbians and made a display of showing everyone it was ok. However, even at that age and level of inexperience I was aware the chemistry was amiss.

This film was written and directed by a straight woman, who was assumably enthralled by the drama and controversy that a lesbian relationship could create, and uninspired by the romantic element. The trailer lets us know that this film is mostly preoccupied with the reactions of Jenny's family to finding out their daughter is gay, but I didn't anticipate that virtually every line of dialogue in the film is concerned with the topic. It's a little more forgivable if you read Jenny's parents as the main characters rather than her, but still tiresome nonetheless. It contributes to a pool of media that uses the homophobia to build a 'forbidden love' story, and then sells it to an audience who were already moderately tolerant of homosexuality. It's a nice pat on the back for an ally to watch, and an unnecessary anxiety induction for anyone who's actually lgb.

Alexis Bledel and Katherine Heigl had zero chemistry. I don't think anyone expected them to, but I was left questioning how the director could allow a love story between two actors with such little spark between them -was it too late to change once they saw how bad it was, or did they just think it was fine? I physically cringed when they kissed. It's a shame because they could have added some brightness to the plot by showing the joy the relationship brought them rather than just the gloom of everyone's negative reactions, but I can't imagine anyone watched this film and admired their dynamic. I laughed at the two bride wedding cake toppers standing awkwardly an inch apart.

This film has 4/5 starts on amazon prime, and as a film to watch and make fun of with friends I think it could earn a rating not so far off that, but in every other way it deserved much lower. Her sisters weird tangents about the grass cemented my opinion that the writer wasn't just detached from the lived experience of LGB people but untalented at character creation. I felt like skimming through the second half, but glad I watched to credits to see the badly photoshopped cast family photos. I hope everyone in the film has put it behind them and moved on to better things. Would not watch again but glad I witnessed the train wreck that is Jenny's Wedding. Thank you for the film suggestion.

piylot · 2020-11-22T14:55:02+00:00

🥈 Thread will be up Sunday 29/11/2020

piylot · 2020-11-22T14:48:33+00:00

What's LC?

piylot · 2020-11-19T08:51:07+00:00

This weekends film 🏆

piylot · 2020-11-16T07:33:19+00:00

I've found it leaking into the real world too

piylot · 2020-11-15T22:33:30+00:00

two separate comments please

piylot · 2020-11-15T19:40:29+00:00

would you recommend? there's a film suggestions thread up currently

piylot · 2020-11-12T14:11:58+00:00

How does she respond if you tell her making comments like you being "such a woman" are hurtful to you? It's one thing to think your comments are tongue in cheek or lighthearted and continue out because you're oblivious to the impact they're having, it's another to understand they're hurtful and continue regardless.

Better question than "is this normal?" is "is it healthy?", or "is it what you want out of a relationship?". Eg historically lots of unhappy relationship norms have existed for women, but changing these didn't depend on realising they weren't normal, but that they're not healthy. That being said, drinking and driving and then blaming it on women when confronted is not normal at all.

piylot · 2020-11-12T12:41:50+00:00

Not sure if you're interested in considering the perspective of those you've just labelled "bihets", but if you are, some things to consider- [warning I'm going to give non-lesbian examples/comparisons]

If a man was exclusively attracted to women, had no attraction to men, enjoyed lots of sex acts with women but didn't enjoy giving oral, what is his sexual orientation?

What about a woman who's really into men, not at all into women, loves p*nis but not in her mouth. Is she not straight?

And some surveys show oral is a lot more common now than it was say 50 years ago. It's a lot to expect someone sexual orientation to be contingent on enjoying oral when for a lot of people that hasn't been expected.

Often for lesbians, oral is seen as more of a cornerstone of sex compared to heteros, and previous threads have shown the majority would at the least be heavily disappointed if their partner wasn't into it. But some people just aren't, and what are they to do, other than force themselves to endure a sex act they find unpleasant? Report the post if you feel it's harmful to be up, but for me I think it's more harmful to suggest that you need to force yourself to perform sexual acts you know you don't like, or that not enjoying them discredits your attraction to women.

piylot · 2020-11-12T09:33:17+00:00

It's come up in conversation before, we're a diverse group of people. I enjoy it but some people don't and are still exclusively attracted to women.

piylot · 2020-11-04T08:50:58+00:00

Explain #2? Controversial

piylot · 2020-11-04T08:49:08+00:00

I'm enjoying it so far, I hadn't heard of it it was just recommended to me after I finished watching something else. Some featuring of other lgbt issues but not preachy or taking a side so far

piylot · 2020-10-30T19:45:37+00:00

IMAGINE if you had sex with someone and you're being more forward/taking initiative and they decide this means you're top and they're bottom and then don't reciprocate. Awful thing to teach young women about sex between women when most of these teens reading memes / watching tik toks don't have access to peers or resources telling them that's not a typical expectation of sex

piylot · 2020-10-29T22:12:28+00:00

I'm interested if you're willing to share — A lot of people talk about hitting peak trans or peak lib fem (a moment of falling out of a belief system you used to follow), what was your peak rad-fem moment(s) that made "the scales fall from your eyes"?

piylot · 2020-10-28T23:23:47+00:00

Heteronormative might be an unfair description for a term appropriated from gay male culture. & sure if you'd rather not use top and bottom at all, but my point was that at least in that context it communicates something, rather than being some individually described identity.

piylot · 2020-10-28T21:30:59+00:00

For me mostly the days approaching it but sometimes also during

piylot · 2020-10-28T18:28:35+00:00

The kind we need to spice up the forum

piylot · 2020-10-28T13:38:25+00:00

Agreed. Unless you're exclusively referring to the use of a strap-on, the word doesn't even have any meaning. Stressing young questioning people out about what label they should put on themselves, when the label is a vague word that some people like the sound of, rather than actually communicating information, like it does when used in relation to gay male sex. The vast majority of us aren't having one sided sex, and I think it's wrong that that's being taught to young sexually inexperienced lesbians online, where they have limited access to other sex education.

piylot · 2020-10-28T13:32:05+00:00

Worst - struggled to make conversation. Found out halfway through she thought I'd asked her to hang as friends. She was actually gay and interested just didn't realise I was too. Got better after that though.

Best – Good flow of conversation, left the bar after a couple of hours to go back to hers and the chemistry was good. Got worse after that.

I've never had such a bad first date really because I go in with low expectations, it's a lot to spend hours with a stranger and hope there'll be mutual interest and no awkward moments. I've had plenty of bad second dates, that's when the expectations creep up a little

piylot · 2020-10-28T13:28:13+00:00

The best dates are often nsfw and we'd love to hear about it

piylot